My father in law gave us a Christmas tree. I do not want a Christmas tree. We do not have space for the Christmas tree. My husband put up the Christmas tree.

If I had a nickel for every time my husband parked my car somewhere it shouldn't be parked and it got towed, I'd have two nickels

There is no actual good place to send this opinion into the universe but I just gotta say it: the reformatting of Literotica is bad!!!

Drove halfway across the state and back for this beautiful portrait. I started crying when it was finished. Worth every mile.

At dinner with my husband and his parents, and my FiL just coughed a piece of spit-covered food onto my drinking glass and completely ignored it 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I fucked up mixing social media with personal relationships because now I cannot simply bitch and moan and wallow in misery without upsetting someone Maybe I should titrate the SSRI back up

Envious of people who have a genuinely good relationship with their in laws

Okay the older I get the more I kind of understand why my mom was seemingly so angry and jumping to conclusions and making everything way more serious than it needed to be when I was a kid

It should be illegal to have to leave this to go to work

One week ago. Unfuckingreal.

Another high point was the boyfriend I had from 17-20 telling me a few years later that I was the best he ever had. Damn right 😎

This is an unhinged post, Sometimes when I need an extra hit of dopamine I think about how the messy situationship guy I was spending time with before I met my husband told me I had the most ample bosom of anyone he'd ever hooked up with. Not with that exact verbiage.

BIG NEWS OUTTA PITTSBURGH 🔥

I learned this week that buying the house you rent is a good way to get your whole security deposit back

🎶 THAT BOY IS CORRUPT/COULD YOU RAISE HIM TO LOVE ME MAYBE 🎶

When my brother was 18 he was drinking everclear with Ritalin dissolved in it and got expelled from high school for having weed in his car Now he owns a house in the burbs with his girlfriend and he told me he does a Sam's Club run every Monday morning

Tickets for Mike's spooky Halloween show at the Bottlerocket are on sale!! app.opendate.io/e/scream-o-p...

My beautiful licky girlies

Unbelievable

Reconnected with friends of my ex this summer after 5 years bc we live in the same neighborhood. They came to my party and said it was the best party food they'd ever had

I'd like to believe that Zoey sent the girls to us. She knew what we needed after she was gone. This is a very serious caption for the worlds

Can you even believe them

I'm still not actually 30 yet but my 30th bday party ruled and the temporary tattoos were a hit!!

Had my 30th bday party last night and the things I am most proud of are the cookie table and the temporary tattoos

This is an encapsulation of both of their personalities

Get a load of this

Tellin her all about her sister 🥹

You cannot convince me these critters are real

Meet Violet and Petunia 💗

I miss her so much it hurts

The sun rose on a world in which Zoey was still alive and it sets on a world in which she isn't and it's fuckin bullshit

Hey friends, this morning Zoey took her last breath as Mike and I held her and told her how much we loved her. She knew nothing but love, and I'd like to believe she wasn't in pain. And she'll never be in pain ever again 💗

The only good landlord is one who offers to sell the house you've been renting for three years at below-market rate

I will not be super duper petty and put 100% of my business out there but let's just say I hate men and never want to see any man's stupid face ever again and if you are a man you should not only apologize for existing but actually DO BETTER AND NOT PLAY THE VICTIM

I realized I have old Twitter mutuals on here....anyone who's ever known any part of me knows how my cat Zoey is the light of my life. Yesterday Zoey was given a terminal diagnosis. She has maybe a few weeks left. Mike and I are shattered. Our whole world is ending.

I'd like to thank Zoey for killing a mouse and proudly displaying it on my front door mat for nutrition and sustenance because I am a terrible hunter

me: yeah so I've been trying to eat clean and lean protein-focused meals and going to the gym consistently and I'm starting to see results my husband: I'm making homemade alfredo pasta all week

they should make a workplace that isn’t understaffed all the time

so off that Supreme Court decision, we offer you a guide on how to advocate for trans rights in your community:

My husband has this beautiful fantasy in which our kitchen is the size of a mansion and can fit every single new appliance he decides we need

Who up tip toeing on hot coals so their mil won't throw a ✨ tantrum ✨

I have a fun hobby where I make low-ball offers on secondhand listings of Sandy Starkman clothing and then get indignant if my offers are declined but also freak out if my offers are accepted

Why are men ?

Googling what you do when your husband insists on driving you to work but will be late to his own funeral

Without fail, every single time I wonder where on earth my husband learned some quirks of his, I spend time with my MIL and she does it too

I try very hard to only be kind and the honest truth is that some people actively negate kindness, and the world would be a kinder place without them!

Work and the whole country and the world at large has been stressful so I have been coping in the best way I know how: thrifting wild clothes made of natural fabrics