My personal favorites. Yes, I know the AH-56 isn't a plane. I don't care.

Search your camera roll for hell. I couldn’t pick just one.

Absolutely fucking gutted. Sleep well Phil. 💔

A cheetah. They're house cats. More or less. 3 foot tall house cats.

Fuck these absolute ghouls forever and ever, amen.

Today is one of those days where getting hit by a bus would feel less like a tragedy and more like winning the fuckin’ lottery.

Ok. I’m drunk. AMA.

Chasing the Monday Scaries away with some rum based therapy.

I can’t play this game. Y’all know all the weird little facts about me. 😂

Look, I'm not saying I *want* to get drafted. ....but I'll throw my hat in the ring if they let me fly an Apache or a Cobra. Probably the only chance I'm ever going to get. 🤷‍♀️

I just watched a grown man order a DRY roast beef sandwich at a highly regarded beef shop. This man is committing a hate crime against the people of the North Shore. I’m like the fifth or sixth person in this joint who is ready to do a violence.

I know the world feels particularly absurd right now. Just remember, humans are nothing more than electrochemical ghosts flickering through a respirating bag of meat, crudely supported by a lattice of bone. Don't think too hard about why we do things. It'll stress you out.

This is the least they can do for us.

Sure. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? 🫠🫠

I am contractually obligated to post this any time this noodle dicked jerkoff is in the news.

I would also like people to swear properly on here so it gets picked up by SwearSky

The coffins of the Americans killed in Trump's war with Iran are being draped with the underwear of young girls so Donald Trump will pay attention to them for more than 5 seconds when they are overloaded at Dover AFB.

“I’ll be honest with you, big gay people are scary to me." Yeah, they're scary because they make his butthole tingle with excitement and anticipation. "Tell me I'm a good boy. Pwease daddy?? 👉👈" www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

I've dealt with real, live monkeys and Baboon Waco haunts my dreams. Don't click on the link folks. Don't do it.

Folks, this is why everyone should cheat on their taxes. Claim excess deductions! Write in a reasonable loss on a K-1! Lie about *everything* on your returns. Starve this demented, turgid, foul administration.

Saturday

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed 🫶🏼

Ladies! Don’t want to be perved at by weirdos wearing Meta Nonce Goggles? Simply wear one of my new range of stylish t-shirts emblazoned with a QR code that will send them to goatse.

Jesus Christ. This is a man who has used a hard R once or twice in his life.

As someone who has been skiing for over 40 years: Please do not take your kids OOB. I hope her parents like living with this specific form of guilt. LOL. kutv.com/news/local/i...

Airport beers hit different. Departing for parts unknown. Where could she be going??

Amateur hour. Call me when you’ve cut top-shelf blow with gas-station boner pills, snorted lines thick as earthworms off the hood of a Buick Regal and then detonated said automobile with home-brew high explosives because you were bored. …Allegedly.

You get an entire record. Yes. It's that good. www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpDG...

No new photos, where are you mentally?

Tear gas is particulates not oil

Novel idea: You can remain unvaccinated, but you’re going to stay where you are in Bullshit, Idaho or wherever you live. Zero freedom of movement. You don’t get to have nice things if you’re a plague rat. Polite society is for those who follow rules and norms.

This dipshit is the richest man in the world. As if I needed more evidence to prove that we live in worst timeline and that humanity is a scourge that needs to be exterminated.

Rest in Piss shitbag.

40 years ago today, we lost seven heroes aboard Challenger. As an astronaut who commanded the space shuttle after this tragedy, I think about them often. Their courage pushed the boundaries of exploration. Today, we remember their sacrifice and the legacy they left behind.

Enjoying this trend of Massachusetts small businesses just casually throwing "Fuck ICE" in random social media captions

Look, I have no love for Trump at all but if he somehow manages to shank Miller? <chef's kiss>

to steal a line from WH40k. (paraphrased). Cruel men are always cowards.

Remember kids, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people."

LOL. One or more of these chucklefucks are going to get their shit pushed in and I am going to laugh.

I’m struggling to find a reason to investigate a new career when I’m pretty sure the US economy is going to collapse. What’s the fucking point.

🧵 I hope I’m wrong but I’m thinking we’re weeks or days away from martial law. He’s already explicitly threatening it for MSP with zero violence. He always tells us what he will do. Believe him. He isn’t gaining any strength by waiting. 1/

For those of you claiming we should exercise the 2nd amendment, you assume that we have it. Marginalized people cannot open carry in this country without getting shot by law enforcement If you're advocating for us to exercise it, it just shows your privilege

QOTD: What car do you want most, but know would be an absolutely miserable experience to own?

Everyone. Time to grab yourself something like this. amzn.to/3LyKufk

I try to avoid adding to The Discourse, JFC did Renee Goods murder fuck me up. I’m a queer parent. I drive my kid past the ICE facility in PDX every day. My car is filled with stuffies. That could have fucking been -me-. Not in an abstract way that “it could be any of us”. Closer than that.

Honestly, the Venezuela thing being a distraction from Epstein and affordability crisis seems to be working pretty well.

I know gay men who don’t gargle balls like this.