Just walked into the store and first two people I see are literally caricatures of "shitty old white dudes". Old ball cap, white cop goatee, shitty Facebook shirt declaring how bad ass they are, that weird "gut out" orangutan posture they all have for some reason, shitty dad shoes. 1/

Batsyhead is legit one of my favorite artists

Happy Pride! Let's all ready to throw knuckle-bones at bigot faces.

Fuck Isreal. Fuck Russia. Fuck Musk. Fuck Trump. Fuck Charlie Kirk. Fuck Palantir. Fuck Joe Rogan. Fuck Tucker. Fuck Bezos. Fuck Fox News. Fuck ICE. Fuck Kid Rock. Fuck the UFC. Fuck Tate. Fuck the Murdocs. Fuck the Sacklers. Fuck the Waltons. And fuck your stupid face if you support them.

I think Bourdain was the most human human being of all time. I feel like we all collectively lost a small piece of ourselves when he died.

The look you give when someone had the audacity to give you a spa day.

Ok, so if you went to a math or physics convention do you think it's easier or harder to get laid if you have a formula or some shit named after you. Like on one hand, groupies exist in every subculture. On the other, would a nerd of that caliber be able to capitalize on that kind of good will?

All I'm saying is "pointy stick good" will NEVER let you down.

Dude can you imagine how great it must be to be one of those North Sentinel Island people. No credit score, inflation is an alien concept, and the one time that dude fucked and ate a kid you sacrificed him to the rain god. That's why they stab anyone who comes near them, they know we fucked it up.

I do find it refreshing how naked the elites are being with their evil right now. No bullshit, no even trying to pretend. We're just being the worst possible versions of ourselves up in this bitch. It almost makes me understand why people like IPAs.

It's wild we're in a war to save a pedophile.

Ok, hear me out. An SNL skit called "Maester Phil" thats a talkshow where Game of Thrones characters work out their problems a la Jerry Springer.

Why? Why are they such fucking unlikeable dorks. Like obviously billionaires shouldn't exist at all. But it's so fucking extra offensive that its dudes like this and that cotton-candy haired fuck are THE GUYS. God damn, Say what you want about Cuban, but I feel like I could at least tolerate being 1

She looks like a Bond villain watching as a henchmen gets dumped into the shark tank.

You know how they'll train computers on millions of games of chess to make a computer that can find the optimal strategy in any given arrangement of pieces. You every wonder if that's what reality is? Just the universe going through every combination of scenarios in an incomprehensibly deep 1/

EVERYONE AGREES WE ALL HATE THOSE FUCKING HEADLIGHTS, WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTTING THEM IN CARS?!?!?!?!

This cat is the most disrespectful creature on earth

Instead of landlords or HOAs, all the housing in a given area should just be run by the winner of "Coolest Guy in the Neighborhood".

Had my first service blow up in my face today. It's rare I fear things I do in my job, but I'm always terrified of the dude that worked on the job before me.

It's amazing how little effort you have to put into making money off right wingers

The cure for the male loneliness epidemic is, funnily enough, located in the same place the clit is

The eternal question: Should I finish this hour and a half online training, or glug glug a big ol' bottle of Round-Up

These are not Molotov Cocktails, but instead Musk-Ow Mules

Every meeting you have to sit through as a blue collar worker feels like Mitch Hederg buying a doughnut: "We don't need to bring ink and paper into this."

Ok, Transday of Visibility is great and all, but how about instead we do "Transday of Getting to Commit Several Minor Crimes" where all of our trans homies get to break any laws they want that have a cumulative total of five grand or less.

Sometimes, if youre lucky, you get to kitchen dance with your cat to "What's New Pussycat?", and realize it cant rain all the time.

Look i can accept getting out maneuvered politically, I can even accept us losing a military conflict, but to be out shitposted by a country we're at war with is a bridge too far!

Did I tell a training partner: "Behold, a pink rash guard. The man who wore it was death, And Hell followed with him" While I wrist locked him from half-guard? Well I didn't not do that.

Honestly man, I think simulation theory and how abusive I was to my Sims when I got tired of the game explain all of this.

There had to have been sex toy transformers, right? Like there's at least one Bad Dragon out there named Cocktimus-Prime

This is John Kiriakou. So obviously take everything in the media today with a grain of salt, especially a former CIA or military dude, but from what ive seen of him he seems intelligent, and morally principled. 1/

I get a lot of crinkle cat stuff in my social media feeds, but this is the nastiest drip I have ever seen. It looks like he's about to drop an absolutely fire debut album.

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, girls with tummies?

Ive never seen bigger fucking bullies than trans-phobes. I hope all of them one day experience the harvest of the hate they've sown.

I love that the right hates on transwomen under the guise of "protecting women's sports" and then shits all over one of the largest moments in women's sports history, and are too fucking stupid to notice.

I feel like if we just gave every neurodivergent person a job working on their special interest we could live in a utopia inside of a decade.

HE FED THE FUCKING HOCKEY TEAM MCDONALD'S 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Took the afternoon off to be a cat mattress.

The fact that women still find men attractive tells you all you need to know about sexuality not being a choice.