Just had new brakes fitted on the front of my Audi. Guess what the mechanic did while reversing it out of the garage?

Driving in Bordeaux be like …..

A very chilly dog walk this morning.

If you’re going to make a typo…. Make it a good one

Epstein files.

I’m not at all a football fan, but can anyone honestly see the World Cup going ahead in America this year ?

youtube.com/watch?v=ASJy... Filmed as part of the rock goes to college series in 1978, I saw them for the first ( of many) times in 79 at the Hammersmith odeon. Great band, great legacy.

When the world seems tough and watching the news fills you with despair…. Hug the one you love that little bit tighter, laugh together, drink some nice wine and make pancake mix, ready for a Sunday morning pancake, bacon and maple syrup blow out. That’s what I’ve done. Sweet dreams everyone xx

ICE is now responsible for 66% of the homicides in Minneapolis this year.

I’m sorry but there comes a point where no one would mourn if an ICE agent was shot and killed.

I’ve just received a message saying that a bored 55 year old woman who lives 10km away from me is looking for some hot action. I’ve sent her my ironing, that’ll keep her busy. Morning peeps.

Has anyone noticed that Trump has stopped blowing up boats in the Caribbean since he’s got the Venezuelan oil ?

Reminder that the people who said their guns were for fighting tyranny went and joined the tyranny. Guess they really just wanted to be able to shoot them at people without getting arrested.

I posted something yesterday about gun control that’s attracted nearly 1,000 shares. It’s also got me a few hundred new followers and a large amount of single women who’ve all DM’d me, telling me it doesn’t matter I’m in my 60’s, age is just a number etc All using the same script.. so predictable

The Americans are useless, if they don't get out on the streets by the millions, you're no different than the Germans during the Holocaust. A bunch of self absorbed consumer driven tweebs.

A dog walk on the beach always clears the mind.

I’m sure the only reason America wants Greenland is because they can actually find it on a map.

Northern lights at Carcans lake last night ( unfortunately not my photos)

Fun fact. NATO has only invoked article 5 one time in its history. On September 12, 2001 in response to the attacks on the USA. It would do man baby Trump good to remember that, ( or maybe get a grown up to explain it to him)

The next US government should immediately introduce strict gun control. When the 2nd amendment mob start screaming that they need their guns to protect themselves from a rogue government. They can literally tell them to sit the fuck down as the events happening now prove they’re just pussies.

Who holds the cards ???

I heard some pretty shocking anti-American vitriol in France today, then my wife told me to quiet down and finish my breakfast.

A conman, a paedophile and a convicted felon walk into a bar and the barman says ….. On your own tonight Mr Trump ?

These are screenshots from instagram of my daughter working on Carlos Sainz’ Dakar race car. Unfortunately it was spread over two frames. Is there anyone out there who could seamlessly match them into one image? I’d love to surprise her with it in a frame.

This opens up wider questions about how far the UK and Canada in the 5 eyes intel sharing framework as well as other former allies of the United States can still provide the Americans with any sensitive intelligence information at all

www.instagram.com/reel/DTdr7V3... Ha ha

Morning all xxx

If you listen very carefully, you can hear Charles de Gaulle screaming I BLOODY TOLD YOU SO from some rural French cemetery.

I had a great FaceTime with some UK friends tonight, it involved a bottle and a half of wine. Therefore I ate my dinner at 10:15 pm I’m not sure how well I’ll sleep tonight.

I know Starmer isn’t very popular in the UK at the moment, but could you imagine Farage in that position ???? He’d be tickling Trumps balls as he swallowed.

The UK is one of the world’s highest holders of US debt. Time to offload it and crash the dollar.

Angus, my 13 year old Labrador has taken to sleeping with his tongue out. God he can snore.

Jenrick. Technically he didn’t “defect” as he’d already been sacked. Surely he just joined Reform?

It’s 05:00 I’ve been awake since 03:00 My alarm goes off at 07:00 It’s going to be a long day isn’t it ?

"Ukraine was overwhelmingly dependent on American intelligence capabilities a year ago, today two thirds are provided by France. Two thirds," - President Macron

Accepting someone else’s Nobel peace prize is like thinking you’re a sex god because a neighbours dog shagged your leg.

Morning scamps

Post Christmas blues. I blame the Stranglers.

I am delighted to welcome Nadhim Zahawi to Reform UK. He will bring useful experience, such as claiming £6,000 to heat his stables and avoiding £3.7m tax by hiding £27m offshore and threatening to sue anyone who asked about it.

Good to see UK politics is as honest as ever.

www.instagram.com/reel/DTaCJ2C... “Rest day”

So, turns out Nigel Farage was correct all along, when he said “I thought Zahawi had principles. Tonight we learn he's just about climbing that greasy pole, as so many of them are”?

I bought a push up deodorant stick yesterday, the instructions said “remove lid and push up bottom”. Anyway, it’s quite awkward to walk but the room smells lovely when I fart. Morning all.

Is it really wrong to wish a certain person had a stroke and suffered greatly, I mean really greatly for months before finally after a lot of discomfort, shuffling off this mortal coil ? Asking for a friend.

Hmmmmm. Shall we use two letter S’s on the logo ??? Naaah, just the one will be fine.

www.instagram.com/reel/DTXuaiE... Good plan

ICE training video leaked www.facebook.com/share/v/182b...

Ellis junior doing what she does in the desert. Taken from the Ford Dakar YouTube channel.