Walked barefoot on sand for the first time with my gimpy leg since the stroke! The world is on fire, but that felt great!

If everyone pissed at Timmy actually went to the opera or ballet, opera and ballet companies wouldn’t be in danger of shutting down. We like having cultural institutions around as an option, but as a society don’t support them or do what is necessary to keep them open.

If Venezuela goes on to play the US in the WBC, I wonder if the corrections staff will let Maduro watch.

What makes all of this so aggravating is we were all told the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes as kids and now when it’s happening, 30% of the country is unable to see how it’s applicable today.

Hangovers in your 40s hit so much harder.

Your boy is drunk in San Juan.

The best part about watching Puerto Rico get creamed by a bunch of Italian Americans is that the dive bar in San Juan you’re watching the game in pivots quickly to a super intense game of dominoes.

The hotel we’re staying at has rooms with a glass encased shower between the bed and the toilet/sink, which is perfect if you’ve ever wanted to clean yourself in a panopticon.

Fun thing about being on vacation in your 40s is being completely unable to sleep in and fully awake at 7am with a partner who can sleep 23 hours a day if given the chance.

It’s weird that Trump keeps bombing shit in Iran even when I’m on vacation. Take a chill pill and have some fish tacos in San Juan, dude. It does wonders.

Alrighty.

Starting to think “There can only good happen” is also the extent of this administration’s war planning.

Man, no feeling quite like coming home from a day at work to see a big ol' pile of cat puke all over the side of the bed.

Looking back, the overconfidence the Venezuela/Maduro kidnapping gave this administration may end up being its downfall.

Clyburn really wants to die in his office, huh?

Melania is now available to stream on Prime, if you want to go give it a thumbs down.

Biden and Garland when given a chance to destroy Trump after 2020 and Jan 6:

Mares eat GOATS and does eat GOATS and little lambs eat PROTEIN. A kid'll eat PROTEIN, too, wouldn't you?

I think this is about the temperature but honestly it works for decades as well

Surely the gas crisis and stock market collapse will be what finally makes my Bored Ape NFTs regain their value.

RETVRN.

The time change really makes waking up in the middle of the night to pee so much more disorienting.

If you like The Sopranos and never bought The Sopranos Sessions, let this be a reminder to place an order.

It’s a shame that Tom Clancy made it so Jack Quaid can’t distance himself from his dad by going by his mom’s last name.

Hoppers!

The most unbelievable thing about SVU is all these creeps having huge Manhattan apartments.

After Paramount Skydance finalizes its purchase of Warner Brothers, will they force James Gunn to rehire Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman?

Just the guy to turn down the temperature at DHS.

The fuck is Shield of the Americas? Did Miller stay up late watching the MCU?

The poetic end to the Andrew Tate story would be getting merked by a drone after making the insane decision to return to Dubai for tax reasons after getting released from confinement for rape by the same president who started the conflict in the first place.

Considering which eye he lost, I’m not shocked Crenshaw was surprised by a challenge from the right.

I can’t wait to get some Purim beads!

Kill shot kicker.

If we run out of missiles, at what point does Trump suggest using one small nuke in Iran, just as a treat?

Remember when the diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya getting attacked was the biggest scandal in the country?

If stocks keep falling, just wait for the President to issue a one word Truth: HODL!!!

Imagine if the AI bubble pops because all the Middle East money that’s supposed to be going into American AI companies gets pulled because of the attack on Iran.

If you give a Republican a trifecta and a compliant SCOTUS, they will cut taxes for the wealthy and do a regime change in the Middle East. That’s just science.

Sometimes it feels like all the studying of what happened during WWII and different countries’ descents into fascism and genocide didn’t inoculate us against it, it just gave us the words to describe the phenomenon and curses those who know them to feel like Cassandras.

FIFA has officially issued President Trump a yellow card. If he assassinates another world leader, it’ll become an automatic red card and he won’t be eligible for another FIFA Peace Prize for 4 years.

Feels like a good day to watch the first episode of Patriot.

At least we know assassinating a hostile foreign leader never leads to unrest or unintended consequences down the line!

All this to kill an 86-year old man.

Exporting the great American value of killing children in schools, but removing the middle step of easy gun ownership and radicalized school shooters.

Good thing we stopped legally providing aid to Ukraine so we had a lot of weaponry left to bomb Iran, I guess.

I stay up late rewatching Reacher and Israel bombs Iran? Fucking lame.

Rewatching Reacher. The choice to have Jack Reacher called Reacher even when he's twelve is so goddamn funny when in a flashback, his older brother earnestly calls him Reacher. They have the same last name and Joe's the older brother!

We need to put a stop to naming companies after people things from Tolkien books until we can figure out what the hell is going on.

Man, it's wild that 10 probably drunk dudes can steal a speedboat loaded up with guns, explosives and tactical gear and try to launch a half baked campaign of terror against Cuba and it's not the most insane thing happening in the world right now.