Okay fine, proofreading your sign makes ME the facist

I think Dracula could defeat Frankenstein but I don’t think Count Chocula could defeat Frankenberry and that speaks to the richness of the characters

ILLUMINATI HQ 2000 AD ILLUMINATI CEO Gentlemen. Technology is about to link every human on Earth and give them all ungoverned access to all scientific and historical information. Your cyanide pills are - ILLUMINATI ASSISTANT - Sir, it’s making people dumber ILLUMINATI CEO No fucking way

Once again ladies and gentlemen just a reminder that we do have a full flight which we will be treating as a kind of curse from a vengeful God that you, the customer, have done something to anger

okay okay OKAY here are all 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover 1. Slip out the back, Jack 2. Make a new plan, Stan 3. Hop on the bus, Gus 4. Drop off the key, Lee 5. Shit in the bed, Fred

Hotel hangover thought: 3 percent of humans have antisocial personality disorder. If you have 1,000 followers, you are having more interactions per day with more sociopaths than the average prison guard

A fair number of problems seem downstream from the fact that the best way to be a human is to grow, change, and evolve but the best way to be successful online is to never change and always double, triple, and quadruple down every time you are wrong.

New episode about evil piss trash. youtu.be/vlKDQ3fwI5w?...

David Simon, creator of ‘The Wire’, being interviewed by Ari Shapiro (NPR)

So it’s “info dumping” if someone tells me how electricity works but that 20 minute story about a dead grandma I’ll never meet was your grand display of empathy

wanted to list the amount of fictionalized Gein details, but…in looking up details I’m discovering i knew WAY less than I thought I did and mistook my ignorance for the show’s fabrication. I was confused about why they’d do that. answer might be: it didn’t. So, fuck it, two necrotized mom thumbs up

Watched Monster: Ed Gein. Didn’t outright dislike but didn’t understand a lot of choices. Felt like message was “everyone co-opted Gein and he never got credit.” But it shows you everyone giving him credit. And..well, wearing corpse tits isn’t quite like inventing jazz or coining “eyebrows on fleek”

Gen X Achievement Unlock: beard trim goal changing from “keep it out of soup” to “enhance seal of CPAP mask”

Eddington: masterpiece. Weapons: masterpiece. Companion: masterpiece. Can’t wait to see One Battle. Might have to go to a theatre? Movies are good again? Or maybe I’ve entered an unpublicized phase of old age where I like old man things like peppers and lumber and hard to pin down characters

Did anyone here ever leave one of those “orange man bad” comments and can you clarify the intent, like, did you mean he wasn’t bad or did you mean we’re all bad or that he was simply the latest distraction deployed by the Grand Elite or did you wish people would focus less on his appearance

There’s a video on Reddit of a 13 year old kid sharing the beehive he built and installed in his bedroom and the comments are a fun way to learn about privilege, parenting, 3D printing, capitalism, beekeeping’s harm to bees, amateur beekeeping’s harm to beekeeping and his bees’ harm to better bees

Notes from session w Galactus: “Likes” eating planets, uses “herald” system to notify planets in advance, “confused” and “betrayed” by results “Loves” cosmic babies, would rather eat 1 cosmic baby than any planet Acknowledges cosmic babies “probably” get made by uneaten planets Left session

met a sweet couple last night with an Antifa child that wants to transition to MAGA, they came to me because I don’t have any degrees and the kid says science “feels wrong” which broke my heart. I offered CashCoin, they hit my family with hammers and left. I feel for them but I’m praying to police

had Cody 85% convinced that “Cucurrucucu Paloma” was a song about a guy whose girlfriend orders a second basket of fries even though she’s only going to eat one more fry and he feels pressured to eat so many fries his tummy hurts. it’s actually about a bird I think

What a way to be reminded that you have a Hulu subscription

they don't have the capacity to compel obedience by the process of law. they don't have the capacity to compel obedience by violence. the only lever by which they can obtain obedience is fear. do not offer it to them.

Print is good prep. Zero percent of graduating thugs know how to kick over a physical press and jokes without emojis will be the new Navajo Wind Talk

Life hack: before poisoning your husband with antifreeze, google “how to never break laws while ending war and hunger.” Let cops search your laptop, then wait until halfway through trial and tell the judge the prosecution failed to share exculpatory evidence. Free poisoning, possible Nobel prize

I’m going to assume I’m waking up to a lot of people appreciating Robert Redford because it’s his birthday and I’m going to have a nice breakfast with my phone face down

You want to hear a government with a REAL woke agenda, put your ear to the door of that interrogation room. This kid will be recalling how trans he’s always been if the feds have to waterboard his hair purple

By the way the colonoscopy was just my 50 year checkup and I’m good. Also they gave me an envelope to take home which I assumed was grownup paperwork so I handed it off it to my assistant and found out later I had handed her 25 color photos of the procedure

Today’s colonoscopist views diarrhea as the rider views his mount: theirs to speed or slow, theirs to cease outright and contain on science’s schedule. And while all beasts can be spurred to gallop, as my procedure’s hour approaches, I fear for these scholars, their cameras and their clothing

Hi, I’m the Nazi officer that mistook Indiana Jones for a subordinate in a secret subway dock and berated him for having uncombed hair before he knocked me out, stole my clothes and saved me from not only a doomed movement but, if rumors are true, a horrific, magical death ask me anything

I just learned black coffee counts as a “clear liquid” during colonoscopy prep and sincerely thought it would be an uplifting/fun/wholesome thing to share with aging millennials and then remembered you won’t have healthcare and got really sad and my chosen takeaway is that you cancelled coffee

I watched the first episode of that Social Studies doc series and I don’t have kids but I can’t stop saying “what have we done” under my breath, it’s my new exhalation, I pull O2 into my lungs then I push CO2 out by saying “what have we done”

I thought I was a good person until my daughter asked "Would you step on a dog for 8 million dollars?"

Not usually a meme guy but

Cody just asked me if I was still playing that video game “City Slickers.” She meant Cyberpunk 2077

Hi I’m Davibrimbaum, brother of Celebrimbor, I was Supervisor on Sauron’s Ring Project which included the forging and distribution of 19 rings and the “Ring of Power” which controlled them all, ask me anything

Holy shit Threads is a toilet

Hi, I’m Paul, I was a Design Lead at the InGen Corporation from 2000 to 2008. My team designed and installed all security doors for InGen’s genetics lab on Ile Saint-Hubert where a Snickers wrapper got sucked into a door’s floor level air intake, resulting in the death of a scientist ask me anything

Okay, Jurassic World. Rebirth me

Fly flew into fridge. Shoo’d it out. Flew back in. Shoo’d it out. Flew back in. Closed the door. Giving it a few. Everything in there is sealed. But I still feel like I’m the one losing. What would feel like a win? 1. To open the door and have it RACE out like a burglar fleeing The Addams Mansion

AI punches you in your job and then kicks you straight in the hobbies. Didn’t care if it could “write” cuz I didn’t care if I could. Then I find a “song generator.” I type “indie folk song, Dan + Cody watch Law and Order.” It shits out this…awkward..deconstructed THING THAT I WANTED TO LEARN TO DO

HEY #comics people / #animation people @jodyhouser.bsky.social , @crashtesterx.bsky.social, @megcasey.bsky.social, me and the whole gang at @oni-press.bsky.social have cooked up a hilarious(ly violent) new Summer Smith Rick & Morty story and the preview is HERE www.flickeringmyth.com/comic-book-p...

Starting X-files from top with Cody - she’s never seen it and I’m 52 so it’s all new to me. Forgot this eyewitness drawing of The Jersey Devil is treated by 3 characters as if it were either evidence OR a hoax. Even the corrupt sheriff is visibly stirred when he sees this. He’s like uh oh jig’s up

Business Idea: Family Goodbye Consultant. Spouses and Significant Others have better perspective but they can’t very well join YOUR family and offer stuff like “what if we tightened this into a seven minute goodbye and added the extra two hours to the visit”

I don’t know what changed, but this is what it feels like to use this website now

Billy Joel: after “children of thalidomide” i want to cut to a guitarist with birth defects totally shredding - Director: - No. Billy Joel: But without that visual, fans will always wonder why there’s an enthusiastic guitar riff after “children of thalidomide.” Director: fans? Billy Joel: mean

Amazing headline/photo pairing. It looks like he’s scanning a trash lined front lawn for federal judges in a hateful daze from behind a slab of White House he’s about to go back to chewing

The bummer about YouTube isn’t radicalization, that’s just “if you like woodwork, here’s a socialist or nazi woodworker.” What sucks is if you LIKE “WoodWoke” then the suggestions become “WoodWinked: How WoodWoke FAKED his way to the top” I’m like okay starting to think NBC was pretty supportive

Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.

I might owe half the country an apology, I used to think they were accusing the deep state of pedophilia because they were paranoid authoritarian dimwits but I’m starting to think they were doing it because it’s SO FUCKING FUN

I waited this long to share this so it couldn’t be unduly weaponized: on the WGA picket line there was a sign in front of me that said “paying my rent shouldn’t be a priveledge.” Thick ass marker, no hesitation wounds, Pumping that shit, like, read it motherfuckers. Writers everywhere