Haven’t been feeling well all day so it’s cold meds, blankets, and the pilot episode of The X-Files for me 👽🛸

At least the Super Bowl's not on ESPN, they'd bump one of these teams for three loss Alabama

I was so right

Ugh, do I have to root for the Pats? Surely we can't allow "Sam Darnold, Super Bowl Winning Starter" to exist, right?

Is this the Super Bowl matchup with the least amount of star power ever?

Today I learned the Burnt Offerings house/Phantasm Funeral Home was also the Honeymoon Hotel in So I Married an Axe Murderer

Sean McVay making a lot of "i'm a man! I'm 40!" faces tonight

I preferred the snow game tbh Like, a shred of defense would be cool This looks like the NBA

I saw Jackie Brown too

Pogopalooza is on The Ocho, this dude is ridiculously hot 👀

Blocking people who suggest all football teams should have domes on sight

No sympathy for Broncos fans, because Fuck Elway, but if my team lost their QB on the last play of a divisional round win and then was in control of the conference championship game until the fourth quarter turned into the Overlook Hotel's yard I would think the universe hates me, specifically

Sometimes I watch good football teams and I'm like "where did they find guys who can do things like tackle and be in the right position on special teams" because as a Packers fan I'm just not used to that

The commercial where a Bucs scout asks AI to rank prospects based on their leadership skills is probably why the Bucs didn't make the playoffs

Not to be exceedingly old and exceedingly gay, but Tyrone Power really did have *it*

I stopped at McDonalds while running errands, because I’m poor, and FIVE cars went through the other drive thru lane while the car in front of me was ordering a cheeseburger with only ketchup and cheese and two sweet and sour sauce cups 🤷

Most Packer fans are like “I hate it” or “I love it” but I’m more “is he related to the yogurt people? Oh wait he’s not, that’s Dannon” 🤷

I still don’t get why Jessica Rothe isn’t in everything

Trying to pick a movie for tonight that’s not excessively horny but at least a little horny and I’m struggling

Lollllllll just logged Bugonia on lb 🫡👽

Just need to reiterate to anyone born after 2001 how catastrophically different everything was before Boomers got on Facebook. Minorities still struggled but conservatives weren’t frothing at the mouth with their ketamine sewer brains like they do now at all times. You are witnessing the apocalypse.

Every time I eat chex mix i feel guilty about what Iowans of the '80s and '90s told child me the brown things were called

Is there a way to mute videos of murder? Seems like a setting we should have

Gravity is a movie that has three title cards, all the same I think we know, dude

Top 5 mainstream movies of the 70s to explain to a rando: Capricorn One Time After Time Westworld Demon Seed Soylent Green

RIP, you heroes 😭🫡🚀

Farting in sweatpants feels so dangerous It's like farting if you're an astronaut

Shoutout to all the cops in movies who lick cocaine to see if it's cocaine

Today I learned Shane McMahon's wife is an Oscar nominee for best picture, I'm going home

I know what you're thinking, and I definitely agree: Capricorn One fuckin' rocks #nowwatchin

Me: “¿Cómo se llama?” A sleeper agent I control: “sí” Me: “bonita” Sleeper agent: “sí” Me: “Mi casa, su casa” Sleeper agent: “Shakira, Shakira” 💃🥷

If anyone wants to send some badass energy my way through mental measures I could use about one hour’s worth of vibes that promote being chill and cool

Timothee Chalamet feels like the most pivotal page in a choose your own adventure book Some people are all in immediately, some people are going to bail immediately Normal people don’t know who he is tho, it’s a niche book

Ever seen a profoundly stupid movie based on an interesting idea? Mild recommend.

I think a good name for a dog would be Daniel von Barken

Oscar noms are out, might fuck around and watch The Postman (1997)

Also, publishing folks 👇🏼👇🏼 I would buy that book 👀

I was just reminded I released a book of weird short fiction that was well received but never got any footing. Check out these blurbs from @gabino.bsky.social & @clairecwrites.bsky.social Here's the Amazon link (I know, gross) www.amazon.com/dp/B09F95CNSP Or you can get a copy direct from me.

I know I should be hornier but my first thought was it’s a storm with a Hungry Hungry Hippos lookin ass

I’m just happy that since the most nominated movie ever is a horror movie we can retire the “horror doesn’t like the Oscars” debate forever 🙌

Maaaaaan the theme to these movies is such a fuckin bop 👵🕵️‍♀️

Only two best picture nominees I’ve never heard of seems low I should not know so much Also it’s weird that Superman got nothing at all? Has Hollywood gone ICE?

Ned Schneebly taught “you’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore” and imo getting nominated for Oscars is not living hardcore But good for them I guess 🤷

Oscars: bad Oscars liking something I like: good Oscars liking something I don’t like: makes me bitter 🤷

I guess I do think if you participated in the arrest of a five-year-old you are probably just fundamentally incompatible with society. That you are not a safe person for humanity to be around, generally

Supporting those in MN - A close friend is making the most of being semi-stuck in their house and raising money with handmade notebooks & wallets. You donate $20 to Community Aid Network MN, you send proof, you get something cute. All info in screenshots!

That’s cinema, baby 📽️🐴🐺

Watching Michael Clayton on a Wednesday like:

There's an undying, timeless, and incredibly deep bond between a girl and her Halsey concert secret songs 🥰⛰️💙

High wind warning?? Who gave the wind a blunt???? Right now that mofo is all “puff, puff, puff” 💨💨💨