*epistles My autocorrect is finally learning church jargon, but it keeps getting confused.

News Media Stop Asking Non-Experts About Medical Safety Challenge Level: Impossible, apparently

When your adderall kicks in as you're scrolling social media

J: *climbs into bed our bed at 3:50* J: *talks for thirty minutes* Me: *can't fall back asleep* Me: Oh well, I'll go for a longer walk. J: I WANT TO GO WITH DADDY! *we get downstairs, and I make coffee and a milk cup* J: *screams* I WANT TO GO BACK UPSTAIRS WITH MOMMY

Trump trying to pronounce acetaminophen:

Thinking I might use this scene from Mad Men as the opening illustration for Sunday's sermon in the perils of wealth: "Even though success is a reality, its effects are temporary. You get hungry even though you've just eaten....You're on top, and you don't have enough."

I understand the variety of reasons some Christian clergy don't wear an alb. What I *don't* understand is the trend of wearing a chasuble without an alb (or even stranger, a chasuble without any other robe). Why not don a geneva gown or just wear a collar with stole?

Remember when Qaddafi took to the podium and rambled on for 90 minutes?

omg i got raptured check out my cute new look #blessed #orb

His family lobotomized his aunt, but it never occurs to him to ask why he never met nonverbal autistic people when he was a kid...

Fun thing about me: for a long time, I wondered how many of my "undiagnosed but pretty sure" traits were learned behaviors. A lot of my weird traits are things my parents also do. But the "I stepped on a cheerios, and now my morning is ruined"? That's all "Drew Suddenly Pays Attention to his Body."

AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT: The floor feels too much. I need to put on my sandals.

If the world doesn't end tomorrow, I get my covid booster and then on Wednesday and Thursday I get to see Kristin Kobes Du Mez and a bunch of other big names discuss pastoral leadership in an age of Xian nationalism.

Bruce Willis and his brothers, Bruce Trustis, Bruce Estateis, and Bruce Advancemedicaldirectiveis

The times. They are too unprecedented and far too interesting.

Pictured: A petty tyrant who only has fame and fortune because he was born into it, standing next to the heir of a vast real estate fortune who somehow ended up as a head of state.

Absolutely wild to me that the GOP has exactly three explanations for gun violence: -Mental health disorders -Medications for mental health disorders -w O k E

"Aggressive interview posture" is giving me "enhanced interrogation" vibes, and I hope some journos are asking follow-ups about what Patel means.

Common misconception: It's only Death Champagne if it comes from Death Valley. Anything else is just sparkling puncture wounds.

the millennials yearn for precedented times

Your email finds me deeply burned out and disassociating.

Some adderall off days hit harder than others. Just made nachos at 9:30, fighting the urge to shave my head, and I've had six donuts in the past 24 hours.

So, uh, who's gonna tell CBS that Colbert is getting a hero's welcome because everyone haaaaaaaaaaates CBS for firing him?

This* We'll Defend *Your right to make fun of me. Turns out, that whole "uphold and defend the Constitution" thing even means mocking me.

Star Wars: They're fascists, but also dumb enough to leave a giant "shoot here to blow up our weapon" hole. 2025: No, actually the fascists really are that incompetent. Let's see if it's enough.

My physique after a week of carrying the kids through a zoo, playground, aquarium, a long walk, and a hike, picking them up and setting them back down again:

Waiting for a credulous hagiography about how this isn't what Kirk the Free Speech Absolutist would want.

My conspiracy theory is that all store produce is the same but at different stages to make it seem like organic lasts longer/tastes better. Farmer's market produce? Peak fresh. Organic and high-end stores? Still v fresh. When it starts to get slimy, they repackage it and ship it to Kroger.

J the Elder also wants to know if dinosaurs will he restored with all creation at the Resurrection. ⚓️

J the Elder just informed me that angels wear a lot of hair ribbons, so update your Bibles amd biblically-accurate tree toppers accordingly. 👼👼👼 ⚓️

Gonna need to start an @nytpitchbot.bsky.social for WaPo next...

This list is like an ice skater who gets so close to a perfect score only to fall and fracture every bone in their body as they leave the rink. Key Lime Dutch Apple Strawberry Rhubarb Peach Pumpkin

Blaming this in Obama instead of Gingrich and Limbaugh is certainly a choice. A stupid, stupid choice.

Stayaction turns into road trip, on our way to visit my grandparents. 45 minutes in, J the younger is screaming instead of napping, J the Elder started harmonizing, and it has taken two tries to find a working restroom for the eldest.

Call me Motion City Soundtrack because the future freaks me out!

We now go live to the only person qualified to explain the state of the world:

Violence is always bad. Death is always the enemy.

This is objectively hilarious, from the "CIA paid a hair metal band to make propaganda" over-the-top jingoism to the red tailed hawk screech subbed in place of the eagles to SecDef's push-ups.

Apparently this is the best time of year to do anything in Atlanta. The aquarium was just about as empty as the zoo.

Pie Jesu

If the Body of Christ is the crust and the Blood of Christ is raisin IS JESUS A PIE. Is the Church being the mystical body of Christ also a pie? Is it all pie???

I need a sign or something that says "[X] Days Since Social Media World War III Panic."

Pie : Bluesky :: Mayo : Twitter (RIP) ⚓️

Can we go back a few weeks to POTUS on the roof and Sandwich Guy?

Today's TL, a summary: 1) Tylenol 2) Buy a priest...nah, a nice note. 3) US regional ally attacks JS regional ally 4) Putin almosts WWIII again (we hope, but it's too soon to tell) 5) Pie

Tylenol causes a lot of pain.

Staycation, zoo day Apparently the second Wednesday after Labor Day is the best time to visit the zoo? No crowd, good weather, animals chilling.

The NG troops in DC are doing landscaping and calling police if they witness crime. You could achieve better results with a job problem to pay local unemployed residents to do the same thing.

Gonna start selling a kine of Kevlar gloves for home chefs: the Mandoglove. No mando-love without the Mandoglove.

Screw it. Amplify a book. Celsius 451