you know the end of star wars return of the jedi when the emporer dies and everyone celebrates? they all got banned from bluesky for that

What?! How dare you! None of my perversions are disgusting! They’re actually very normal. Anyway, I’m DMing you an address. Arrive covered in BBQ sauce, and I mean COVERED, or else the deal is off.

There are few things that live in my head so rent-free

If I had a nickel for every time this happened I’d be able to make a life-sized statue of myself shitting my pants. Made out of nickels.

who else up trying to be funny, but then you’re like “oh, I’m actually being super dark because of all of that trauma” so you just try to fart loudly to lighten the mood, but you didn’t realize you actually needed to shit so you poop yourself REAL bad

Roses are red Beer is brewed

Me: [can’t talk because my mouth is full of sugar water and three hummingbirds are perched on my lower lip feeding from me]

I’m putting “featured on drojo’s fridge” on my resume now

I’m sick of overly positive bots Is there a bot I can follow that will tell me to delete my account and that I will die alone and afraid?

Cause of death: pissed toyota

[at desk, chewing on pen, surrounded by crumpled up balls of paper, trying to come up with a hilarious shitpost about the whole venezuela thing] …fuck

if you can’t handle me at my weird, then you don’t deserve me at my weird

Heading into 2026 like

HOW DID THEY KNOW

It’s fuckin cold out! And yet a yellowjacket just buzzed around my face for like a full minute. My little friend, please spend your energy on more productive things. Seriously. Eat something. Drink some water. Take your meds. What the fuck are you doing.

Later guys, my ride is here

If I had a nickel for every post I discarded I could make a house out of nickels. Then I would be crushed to death by thousands of pounds of nickels, because that isn’t a structurally sound way to build a house.

Morrissey called. Block the number. He fuckin sucks.

I kinda miss when there wasn’t a fence around the back yard. I’d get visits from a huge chonker opossum just swaggering through, nightly. Sometimes I wonder how they’re doin…

ruin two bands by combining them: Reel Big Morrissey

I’m gonna make some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies They don’t have raisins in them because I am not a fucking MONSTER 😠

if you see this, post a random fact about yourself i graduated high school when i was 13 yet inexplicably i am also really stupid

Maybe it’s just me, but I never found Roddy Piper to be all that rowdy.

I think my cat had the record for most “fuck you” pee ever. I heard a spraying noise and looked around to discover that she had backed her butt up to the sound hole of a ukulele leaned against the wall and was peeing right into it. I was speechless as we made eye contact.

describe your bsky account in a single image

I got some high-quality sardines for Christmas … What do I do with them? Like, does anyone with sardine experience have any suggestions for things to do with them other that just eat them plain from the tin?

Interesting that Droppo’s laziness completely disappeared once he had the chance to do something he actually cared about. Anyway, this is the christmas movie we watched last night.

I made some cards! @railroadofsin.bsky.social I used the acrylic markers!

I need someone to delete these stickers from my phone. I can’t stop using them on everything

I got a LOT of cheese and a lot of crackers So I think I’m all set until later today when I will have eaten all of the cheese and crackers

how im entering 2026

Without downloading any new pics describe your gender.

You gave me HOW MANY maids-a-milking? I mean, I appreciate it, but I can be milked only so much! Are you trying to kill me?

The only reason RDJ got the role of Doom is because MF DOOM died, so I’m boycotting the movie. 😠

Theoretically? I’m going to make nachos and go to bed. Also, I don’t know what “theoretically” means.

My adopted little sister could use some help.

Retrobution Like retribution, but with cooler furniture

“All hands meeting”? How about a “catch these hands meeting”?

Ugh. I’m going to have to change my pfp and name AGAIN after christmas. The passage of time and seasons can blow me.

Making bath bombs that are just lavender-scented sticks of dynamite

[looking out my front window with a cup of tea] Hey! HEY! STOPPING DIGGING THAT PONY! Damn kids. Hooligans is what they are.

Going to a white elephant party tonight! I always bring the most stolen things, and make the most popular cookies. It’ll be nice if I get something good, but I will win regardless. 😤

The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go.

I’m going shopping. Suggest one thing to get. Good answers only.

THE DONALD J. TRUMP AND The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Sorry, I can’t give credence to this Clearwater Revival

Post your battle station.

being a carpenter joseph built the first cuck chair

gonna start saying through like cough