Cobb salad ingredients, best to worst: 1. bleu cheese 2. bacon 3. avocado/chicken (tie) 4. hard-boiled eggs 5. lettuce

Not to be too gross for a Monday morning but I like how British people spell diarrhea with an o, like "diarrhoea." Just makes me smile is all.

Congrats to Zeb on this huge honor.

I think it's time we finally admit that while putting relish in squeeze bottles was a great idea in theory, they usually don't work all that well.

I, a 50-year-old man, got carded at Dave and Buster's yesterday

Ok I figured out who needs to hear this

Hear me out: Mel Brooks as Magneto, Dick Van Dyke as Professor X

Here's my number one art tip: you don't have to draw things the way they look in real life; you just have to draw them in a way that looks good.

Do you think they'll ever make a Minion with three eyes????

No CD but OCD

Ppl on this app will genuinely doompost "WE'RE SO FUCKED" like a mantra 10 times a week, call it activism, and then wonder why it didn't fix anything

Free hot dogs at the coffee shop today

When I was a kid I thought the tagline for this movie was part of the title, and that the proper name was "Uncle Sam I Want You...Dead"

Reasons people got murdered by Uncle Sam in the 1996 horror movie "Uncle Sam": 1. Corrupt politician 2. Tax cheat 3. Draft dodger 4. Disrespecting the flag 5. Disrespecting veterans' graves 6. Disrespecting the national anthem 7. Smoking marijuana 8. Peeping Tom

Just a reminder. I'm always surprised how many people aren't aware of this. #Libraries

What's going on

I like that thing they do in horror movies sometimes, where you don't know where you're supposed to be looking because the monster could be in the background or someplace. You wouldn't think I'd like that, but I do.

Major props to the City Paper for coming back from the dead and resuming print editions. They really pulled off the impossible here.

Welcome to the HEAT DOME

Animal World (1/7)

SOON

I thought this was Stan Lee at first.

Breaking news: people are crazy

Larry "Bud" Melman appreciation post

Larry "Bud" Melman appreciation post

My advice for drawing a 200-page graphic novel in six months is the same as my advice for life in general: Figure out a way to make it interesting or you'll go insane

Would you rather meet an alien or a ghost???

RIP David Hockney. In sixth grade I picked this portrait of Divine as my favorite painting in the Carnegie Museum of Art and even drew my own rendition. I didn't know who either of those guys were at the time but I grew to develop an admiration for both.

If they ever build that arch, I sure wouldn't stand underneath it

I guess it's safe to uninstall the Spirit Airlines app from my phone now

I'm at that point in the year where I'm too busy drawing the new Agents of S.U.I.T. to create or post any new personal art. Filling up my social media with random observations and photos of weird stuff I saw instead.

No spoilers, but the best performance in Disclosure Day is the actress who plays the NBC anchor at the end of the movie. Worst performance is the CGI fox

Least popular aisle in the grocery store:

You Won't Believe What My Dad Has the Thermostat Set To (80 degrees)

My litmus test for any Treasure Island adaptation is how annoying do they make Ben Gunn. The 1950 Disney one is near-unwatchable anytime he's on screen.

Etsy says my order delivered but it didn't deliver ☹️

Best bee-related GIF: Oprah or Nic Cage?

I am watching Disney's BLANK CHECK (1994) and let me tell you, the circumstances that lead to this kid getting a blank check which he cashes for $1,000,000 are extremely convoluted

Marjane Satrapi 1969-2026

There is no reason to say mean things to strangers on the internet unless you thought of something really really funny.

Nothing more beautiful than the sacrificial wood you use to catch stray paint drips.

Maybe the most beautiful day of the year so far and I wasted it suffering through side effects of the shingles vaccine. They say this is preferable to getting shingles but I don't know by how much.

U.S. Homeland Security Advisor Stephen Miller

Reminder that (for the most part) you don't have to engage with companies that suck. If you don't like Amazon, shop elsewhere. If you don't like Netflix, cancel your account. The big guys want you to feel like you don't have a choice but that's so untrue it's laughable.

Memorial Day Goodwill find

Got a great bag of Salsa Verde Doritos (the best flavor). Extra seasoning, not very smashed. 5/5 stars.

I got a sequel idea: PLANET OF THE GROGUS. Like, they go to some new planet and there are just a million Grogus doing stuff. Grogus everywhere