Petition to have Nigel Farage's words spoken by an actor on helium on account of Reform having an armed wing.

Merge two films View From The Bridge Over The River Kwai

The dog ate my pupils.

The Dutch super-speedster / Lorena Wiebes @secondmentions.com

Q: Oh for goodness sake Bond, put that down. 007: *tosses jam jar to lab-coated assistant* What is it, Q? Napalm grenade? Q: No, 007. It's jam for Hamid Karzai and it hasn't set yet.

This entire clearing on Larkhill fields is honeysuckle and the smell is so dreamy I suspect if you wandered into it on Midsummer's Eve you'd fall in love with the first creature you set eyes on.

Selling drugs at 14 being a completely normal after school job for the young Notting Hill set.

At least he should be good on safe houses.

Today's CaféThatIsNotAFranchise is Francini de Colombia. Vibe: not at all minimalist chic. Coffee: probably the best cup in Formby.

Can't club a hungry polar bear to death with a £100 phone.

Copper to fibre switchover day. Openreach turned up well within the window, no fuss, hoovered up after. An hour's overlap before the old internet provider switched off and most astoundingly of all, I've moved all our devices over without problems. So that's my June luck quota used up.

Ghosts.

Nato, but more Warsaw Pactey, the US has confirmed.

Not Vardy's death, but Vardy's banishment. (from St Mary Mead apparently)

It's 6:30pm, Euston is not rammed and my platform was announced 15 mins before departure. Am I in a coma?

All US research to align with dialectic materialism, the commissar has confirmed.

Fellas,,,,

The Ipanema of the north.

Golden opportunity to have a favourite eatery or be known for talking to actual EU citizens at service stations along the way. Mais non ...

Technically she is though.

The US, but the point stands.

I see from the data that what you mostly want to know this weekend is whether the war is over (Probably not) and whether now is a good time to buy a second hand EV (Very probably) as.ft.com/r/d720d1be-c...

Fabulous clarification in today's Observer. Stonehenge!

US regional cuisine has entered the chat.

Though cowards flinched and traitors sneered, Rish kept the red flag flying here.

Top trolling of American food a y hmore diverse than British food guy from YouGov.

Today's CaféThatIsNotAFranchise is FOAM. Menu is Martin Parr themed. Not sure if this explains the excellent crockery.

Spiritually, St Pancreas International departures is Euston.

I can see 'treatment focused on staying in work or social support such as job advice and lifestyle coaching' helping people who need treatment focused on staying in work or social support. Cancer or life-changing trauma, not so much.

Not falling for this Room 101 phishing trip.

Relocate HM Treasury to Aberdeen and impose an air travel ban.

New version of Howl just dropped.

I can connect to my bank account and see all my transactions

Yes please. Where do I vote for going back to 2015? as.ft.com/r/726d312c-5...

Why yes, I am the sort of person who will Immediately check this claim against an 'ordinary' pasta brand like De Cecco penne rigate (14%)

10/10 picture choice. No notes.

So you know how AI can make movies with dead actors ...

Decorated skin @secondmentions.bsky.social (also: excellent use of the supply and demand curve to pitch tattoos as an FT story)

Lovely story. Proud to be British. 10/10 MoD PR team. But I want to know more about the medics. Did someone just phone up and as for a bank nurse with 'ICU skills and um ... a couple of parachute jumps if poss'?

Timeline cleansing sleepy/thirsty vixen

A shower in 1949? Is this Princess Anne?

Me with something definitely wrong that turned out to be a 5.5cm tumour needing a mastectomy then chemo: this is defnitely not right. Drs (twice): well at your age things get a bit lumpy and bumpy (actual *sigh* the second time).

If only there had been some sort of modern, shiny, high profile, infrastructure projects, that could have linked Manchester to places like London and Leeds at high speed that had been stalled by the Tories which Labour could have restored to great fanfare.

Why, I can smile, and murder whiles I smile

Any word on the circenses?

Affordable housing (but not endowment mortgages or carpetbagging)

I have no idea what Columbo is doing investigating a Macbeth-adjacent death in London but Dagger of the Mind is 10/10 Columbo

Feels like some sort of metaphor

In fox cub news.