10/10 timing. No notes.

It makes no sense to build windfarm on wild and windy moor, area electricity users confirm.

Hello, Unit? Yes. Can you put me through to Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart. Yes, the Brigadeer. What's it about? Cyberwomen. Yes. Where? In the office. Yes.

Hello. Unit?

I find myself in the unfamiliar position of having to close the curtains to keep the glare off my computer screen

Is the answer to the fertility crisis more winter sports?

Roses are red Violets in bloom

!! … ah

What the Voice of the People is saying is: "Look at that frightful expat Ratcliffe swanking about in Man U footer bags! Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher?

Public reporting deters crime. We urge it for burglary, assault, fraud — so why not road danger?? Reporting helps tackle reckless driving and save lives. The Daily Mail mocking this as “villainy” misses the point. Accountability on our roads protects everyone. www.the-londoner.co.uk/jeremy-vine-...

Monsters from the id.

Are there odds on him being disappeared by ICE if he does?

Important science.

You could have a lot more houses if they were death traps, developers have confirmed.

And yet nowhere has emerged as a hotbed of squatting 🤔.

All very interesting but I'm fairly sure I'm British Legal Professionals adjacent because they post a lot of cat pics.

What did he say, Peter?

British values

Otherwise it's just ...

Someone ought to persuade him to rename Washington ‘Trumpton’. It’d give us a laugh over here, anyway.

[Insert Le Comte de Frou Frou joke here]

This perhaps a bit extreme, but there is nothing quite so disapointing as a martini made with ice that has sat on the bar for hours so that neither the liquid nor the glass is properly cold.

Somewhere in Russia a bot farm is cranking out social media posts targeting disgruntled middle aged dealers who sold more gear before 15 minute cities. as.ft.com/r/96c273a8-0...

Bring me the sausage of Alfredo Garcia.

Tuition fees for A levels ?

Hi. Personal Finance Desk? I've got this great case study for the investing a windfall special. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Really enjoyed Arcadia at the Old Vic - even though the lighting desk had to be turned off and on again in scene seven. "Why can't you teach me to Walz?" "It's too dark" 10/10 ad lib. No notes.

Your occasional reminder that some UK politicians think this is better than the NHS.

I'm sure it was dark at 4:30 last time I looked.

Your occasion reminder that my junta will strip the human rights of anyone who has advocated the removal of human rights.

Well that's enough newswrangling for a weekend. A large drink is incoming.

Visual investigation

We shall stick it out to the end, but we are getting weaker, of course, and the end cannot be far. It seems a pity, but I do not think I can meme more.

Once dived on the main Sydney sewage outfall to take samples. Didn't see any sharks but very surprised none of us got sick. We knew when we were close because the water got warmer.

Yeah 'could be' *yanks on the handbrake while turning the steering wheel*

I think this is the most important article I've written for a while: a trip to Sudan to report on the UN's refugee agency. Battered by Trump's cuts and western retreat, can humanitarianism survive? as.ft.com/r/f137508d-d...

And did his Countenance Divine, Shine forth upon our op ed page? And was Jerusalem builded here, Among the dark abandoned mills?

I must have halucinated all those 10 o'clock news reports that ended 'His/her family has been informed.'

A bit of Trumpist vengeance, anyone? www.ft.com/content/acbe...

It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty grammes a week. And only yesterday, he reflected, it had been announced that the ration was to be REDUCED to twenty grammes a week.

I'm going back to tidying the cupboards because I cannot take any more of this.

Yes. That's how percentages work.

Does Davos have simultaneous Doublespeak translators?

"In the whole world only two small frontiers are still hostile to us. One here in the north, which separates us from those who are called barbarians. The other, in the east, Persia." Can't quite remember how this ends ....

Are we sure no one has hidden a 38 snub nose in the cistern of a Palace of Westminster loo?

1/2: Curious as to why The Times doesn't mention how many voters the council 'ignored'.

"I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace."

If only there had been some clue in his past that he might behave like this. www.ft.com/content/ff64...