“There he is - let’s beat him with clubs and behead him!” St Valentine - the Patron Saint of Love died on this day in 273 AD! #r4today

View from the side living room window (kitchen window faces same direction). Sprinkling of snow today - not really had any this Winter. Think this might be more or less it for this year. #TheArchers

Just going to leave this here

They’d never be able to make attempted murder charges stick - never prove that motive plus the phone call to the ambulance is indicative of mindset - harm yes, murder no! #TheArchers

He dropped his cabbage - does that mean he won’t get a Crackerjack pencil? Ask your grandparents if you don’t get the reference #TheArchers

None of this would be admissible - word of a felon against a pillar of the community! Plus this constitutes blackmail! #TheArchers

Was it this aftershave? #TheArchers

Why is this plug ugly goon all over the news with his obnoxious views just because he’s rich? If he lived down the street you’d warn him off and that would be the end of it. Media need to stop indulging him! #wato

Fans of #TheArchers might like The Darjeeling Limited now on Netflix! From Wes Anderson (I know - but it’s early period so the wheels hadn’t quite dropped off) and worth a look! #wato

What is effective about this Burnham statement is it reads like something that he is personally invested in and is not worried about criticism for. More of this please.

This looks like someone found a rancid coconut discarded in the back of a cupboard for decades, dipped it in white paint, glued on some horsehair then drew on a face with a magic marker! Stop giving plug ugly racists like this platforms to spread their bile! Awful. #wato #lbc

Big raspberry to the Hammers there! Back to a 6 point gap! Super fun!

Pity Man U or losing though that’s probably a bigger concern to Spurs and Forest than Leeds given where they are in the table. Points means prizes and Leeds have got 30! 3 wins from the next 12 games and it’s job done.

People of Coniston making a video in a bid to win the Olympics (or something like that)! Famous for its Stoneybridge apparently! #bbcpm

And there’s another Gordon Brown relaunch! Seeing a pattern? Starmer can’t win - Andy Burnham can. Fix it! #bbcpm

Relaunch cartoon circa 2009! Told them we’d lose if we didn’t ditch Gordon Brown - changed Leader might have saved 10/20 seats and Labour could have formed a coalition with the LibDems. Didn’t listen and they’re not listening now! Here comes Deputy PM Farage propping up a Tory coalition! Yup! #bbcpm

They had reset after reset after relaunch for Gordon Brown during that 2007 - 2010 Parliament! Didn’t work then and it won’t work now! Danger this time is Reform get in as part of a Tory Coalition! Very real danger! #bbcpm

#wato Hypocrisy from a Murdoch rag - who’d have thunk it?

Pudsey Labour Party Monthly Foodbank Collection this morning! Lots of support - Thank You! #bbcpm

Winter Olympics? Nobody cares about that sliding about on the ice rubbish! Absolute state of this! #r4today

Treachery is in Mandelson’s DNA - his grandfather Herbert Morrison tried to stage a coup against Attlee straight after the 1945 Labour landslide victory - then made several further attempts! Family of vipers! #r4today

“So you were partying with Epstein, Prince Andrew and several unidentified teenagers then Rolf Harris said ‘let’s all go round to see Gary Glitter’ - this was just after Jimmy Savile had left!” Security Service interview with Peter Mandelson that didn’t raise any red flags! #r4today

Anyone surprised the image is real? Not one single person on the whole planet! Yup! #Newsnight

Andrew and Epstein had threesome with stripper then ‘satisfied themselves’ after - whatever that means? Answers on a postcard please to Blue Peter or some other BBC programme that likes to receive postcards - You & Yours or MoneyBox Live (something like that)! #bbcpm #TheArchers

Nearly all the calamities under the Tories from Johnson onwards (and there were many) had the fingerprints of Simon Case all over them! Seems that under Starmer all disastrous decisions (like appointing Mandelson) can be traced back to Morgan McSweeney! Always a joker in the pack! Yup! #r4today

Has the news stopped? They seem to be running Front Row early! #r4today

All is known! Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today 2nd February - Groundhog Day! This means Six More Weeks of Winter! #TheArchers #bbcpm

Shut up about that daft barn and go do some farming #TheArchers

Now they’re talking about traffic jams! Filler guff like most Sunday episodes #TheArchers

If that kids old enough to teach chess she’s old enough to be left alone while the adults go for a tapas! (I know - bad taste) #TheArchers

This is just Sunday filler guff! #TheArchers

Complete novice can run a farm, milk a herd and do a full time professional job on top with just the help of a couple of local volunteers! Credible? Yup - that’s credible #TheArchers

Tedious Pip! #TheArchers

1st February - Feast of St Brigid! Also the First Day of Celtic Spring! #r4today #TheArchers

“How different, how very different from the home life of our own dear Queen” #r4today

That artwork commissioned to commemorate Peggy! #TheArchers

Village Shop stocks football boot laces? Is it sponsored by Acme those people who send things to Wile E Coyote - they stock everything #TheArchers

Kirstie still an adjunct to other people’s storylines - none of her own! Plus shut up about that cacky handed old witch Peggy (the character not the actress) #TheArchers

Giant caterpillar cake left over from Christmas being consumed from today forward. “What about your heart condition”. Giant caterpillar cake #TheArchers

Assembled my new bed this afternoon. Not straightforward because it’s a heavy wooden affair with drawers (in need of the storage). There’s every chance the whole thing will collapse under me Laurel & Hardy style when I get in it tonight but I’m just going to have to risk it #TheArchers

Reform UK is like a political version of Bands Reunited - on a mission to reassemble the Liz Truss Cabinet from 2022! (That’s A Flock of Seagulls who featured on the show - not the Truss Cabinet)! #wato

Is it another Tory folks? ‘Yes!’ A Tory? ‘Yup!’ But I thought they said it was a new party making a clean break from the past? (sound of raucous laughter coming from all quarters)! #wato #lbc

Facebook accounts that post messages saying ‘we are removing inactive people - reply with…….’ - I unfollow them instantly. Yup! #r4today

The late Gerald Kaufman used to be MP for Gorton years ago! A visiting American dignitary at a Labour Conference was overheard saying ‘ Jesus - he looks like he’s the Mayor of Miami’ when he saw how he was dressed #r4today

Who was the real winner of that NEC vote yesterday? (I’m not a fan!) #r4today

A plateful of Tory Nick Robinson with a side serving of Snide Chris Mason #r4today

Nobody organises Highland Games on Burns Night - not even the owner of a shortbread distillery in Auchenshuggle (and you can’t get more Scottish than that)! #TheArchers

Stop plugging tv programmes on the radio you BBC cretins (and especially ones featuring that skunk Sugar) #TheArchers

Not been on #TheArchers hashtag for a while because my place has been refurbished, redecorated, new furniture and tomorrow - new carpets. That’s everything done but it’s been a lot to manage as anyone will know who has been through such a thing! Normal service from here on in (well tomorrow really)!

Burns Night! Shortbread will be consumed by me - not haggis! Think a famous scotsman once said “I’d sooner drink pigs vomit than eat that stuff” or it might have been Abraham Lincoln who whilst not Scottish was very erudite - so yes, it was probably him! #TheArchers