I don't really know for why, but my anxiety has been at an all time high lately, nearly entirely debilitating levels. I'm finding it difficult to do just about anything at all beyond breathing. None of my usual ways of calming it or dealing with it are working and I hate it.

Another day of moving, sorting, and cleaning done. Nearly fully out of my old place; one or two more trips left. Figured I would bake some fresh choco chippies oatmeal muffins as a treat and because apparently I'm not fat enough as it is. They are delicious though.

I don't know why I keep buying blue guitars, but it's starting to become a habit. Anyway, here is my new Telecaster that desperately needed some upgrades. The stock humbucker was okay, but it wasn't my vibe so a more normal tele pickup went in. Did some shielding & a string roller too.

Hashtag: just moving in things. The space might be small, but it's nice to be somewhere new. Feeling a bit of relief.

Finally, the first day of my move has come and gone and I'm mostly in my new place. Still a couple loads left before I'm fully in, but my watch tells me I did a pretty good job today so I'm okay with that.

Needed to take today off work for space and privacy so I could process after some bad news from yesterday wasn't sitting right with me. Two separate contractors showed up, unannounced, no knock, one gave me lip and the other was outright intimidating. I no longer feel safe in my own home. 😥

Been in a pretty bad funk lately. Work sucks, home sucks, just feeling alone and overwhelmed. So I decided the best thing to do was direct my negative feelings into trying to write/record a song. It's nothing special, and almost certainly will sound like utter garbage once I'm done, but I'm trying.

Moving out of my current place cannot happen soon enough. It's bad enough that I've been without a kitchen for 2.5 months, but I'm getting tired of random strangers being in my home without notice. Got home today to a dude working, he'd moved stuff to block other doors so I couldn't eat/change.

It's not exactly pride of place or headlining by any means or measure, but it feels nice having a world on the front page of VRC's worlds tab again - even if it's just the participation trophy section. Been a while.

I think I'm going to keep this world very desolate and empty. Dunno yet. But I'm enjoying the vibe of it so far as I slowly model and render it out, adding lil touches here and there. Probably just end up as my home world honestly.

Any flavour of creativity has seemingly evaporated from my body and mind over the past month or so, with any sort of stability balancing on a propped up framework of very little. Stress, work, getting married, loneliness just crushed me. Was nice to find inspiration and make this today though.

Gave my notice to my landlord today that I'm moving at the end of this month. Not by choice, and wow I'm getting sick of moving, but at least it's done. Hopefully the next place lasts more than 6 months before they sell and ask me to leave. Not looking forward to doing this solo yet again.

For no particular reason at all, I've decided to offer my 3d model of a can of soup for free until the start of the new year over on Jinxxy. Use code GIVEMESOUP for 100% off. Eat up, fellow poors. Link below.

After two weeks of honeymoon bliss, I am alone once more. My other half suggested I round up my foxes and sleep amongst them to help soak up the tears through the night. Only the top half of my bed was covered, which means I need more foxes, clearly.

Because my previous shrine to consumerism was old and sad, my wife and I decided to impulse buy a new shrine to consumerism today. It's not much, but I love these lil things we are doing together. I'm going to ugly cry so hard when she has to fly home.

Morning.

It wasn't that I chose to adopt and walk around with this little guy, it's that my wife forced me to by saying that he was adorable and that I deserve another fox friend. That is my lie and I am sticking to it.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Unintentionally neglected while I deal with some admin and then slowly going cold on me.

My wife and I have been obsessing over board games during our honeymoon, with these being added to our collection. Kinda wanting to get more, but wow they've gotten pricey.

While I was in the shower a worker came by to start on my kitchen, letting himself in unannounced. This was, needless to say, deeply uncomfortable. So I decided to start guitar practice once I was dry and clothed, with the amp turned up to ouchie hearing levels, for over an hour. Hope he suffered.

I don't normally do anything for this season as I never have anyone to do it with. This year isn't much different. So we decided while she's up here that Corina and I would have xmas a couple weeks early. The tree finds its way out of storage for the first time in years.

This is how you're supposed to spend your wedding night, right? I'm pretty much sure it is.

Holy heck, I just got married y'all. 6 years ago I met her in vrchat, and now we each wear the others ring for the rest of our lives, together as one. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this was possible. Love you, @corinavr.bsky.social

Went out exploring today with my wonderful Corina, and we stumbled across this small bookstore in a lil town that had a message we both very much approve of.

I’m finding everything very difficult at the moment. I’m sure loads of us are. I don’t think we’re designed to take so much stress and existential anxiety piled upon us every day.

Corina and I wanted flowers for our wedding, but we wanted something a lil more unique. This is what we settled on. It's not much, but it's something from the day we will always have.

Nights like this are my favourite. Just snuggles, bad tv, and so many giggles with someone amazing. I want every night like this.

Getting married is expensive y'all. Holy heck. Corina and I aren't doing any real ceremony, we're not going anywhere for our honeymoon, have zero guests, no venue, and yet we are still spending an absolute ton of money on food and candy. It's crazy! Also the paperwork/commissioner is so many $$$$!

Picking up my fiancee at the airport right now and I'm vibrating with excitement. Don't know why this time it's hitting different, but holy heck I've missed her.

As evil as Spotify is, I still haven't made the switch to something else yet, so here is my wrapped for 2025. Only 5.5 hours of listening per day over the last year, which is lower than normal for me, but still impressive I guess.

YouTube's recap decided to call me out with this one. And before you ask I'm not obsessed with @letsgameitout.tv and their videos, it's just that I cannot sleep without hearing his sexy voice. It's very comforting.

Okay, fine, it's available for purchase if you hate money that much. I was literally crying from laughter writing the description, so I hope you hate it. Links in the comments below!

It's a well known fact that I love soup just as much as the next poor person, so I feel privileged to be enjoying this fine Food Product™ for my only meal later today. I spent so much time giggling as I modelled this in #blender3d and textured this can today, you have no idea.

Had an interesting chat with my landlord tonight after I got home from work. I guess he can hear me playing guitar pretty well upstairs and he asked me to turn it up for him because he really enjoys listening to me play. Wasn't at all what I expected.

I've never gone to a movie premiere solo; it was always something one of my ex's enjoyed that I did with her, but I absolutely couldn't pass up fangirling over Zootopia 2 and its release. Buying the lil cup was a must, even if I don't like soda or popcorn all that much. Might be here 30 mins early.

Getting married in a few weeks and I have this persistent urge to make the most unhinged wedding registry possible with my fiancee, fully acknowledging that nobody would buy us soup if it was on a registry never mind the stuff we'd actually want.

We don't deserve foxes

To force myself to practise guitar more, I try to play whenever I am in VR, as I'm typically just sitting around talking to friends anyhow. I didn't realize just how hard it would be on the equipment though. My Index controller is badly pitted and scuffed, and guitar finish is cracking and dented.

I accidentally bought another large fox flavoured plush while out shopping and ended up walking around hugging it for the better part of an hour. I'm so clumsy! Look at his adorable lil derp face though! I couldn't just leave him there...

Conspiracy theory: lube places that take a lot more time to do your oil change than it should are doing so for the artificial value of it, making you think they're doing more than just a simple fluid change, to justify the high price.

The photographer is not scared (and neither is anybody else!) 🪡 @komickrazi.bsky.social 📷 @msmalvolio.bsky.social 📢 #FursuitFriday

Although I've really been enjoying my Blackstar HT20 Studio, there is something that just draws me to a Vox amp. Dunno if it's the aesthetic or the sound, there is just something a lil extra about them. Maybe one day I'll get one, but for now I have #Blender3d and #SubstancePainter

Went digging through my grandmothers toolbox and found this hammer hanging around in the bottom drawer. Seems like it's a single use thing but I don't really have any nails laying around so I dunno. Modelled in #blender3d and textured in #substancepainter. No, I don't know why I did it either.

Heck my diet. It's my day and I get to choose exactly how to abuse myself. I hate today. I have nothing but bad memories and trauma surrounding this day. Yet for some reason I do this and still detest anyone mentioning it or wishing me well. Feels better to be alone I guess.

No, I won't stop obsessively buying every picture, print, painting, or fox themed thing I find at thrift stores and you cannot stop me! This was certainly one of the cooler finds though.

I found out today that one of my coworkers is functionally illiterate. He's 20 and needed me to read to him some very basic instructions he was trying to follow to check a piece of machinery because he couldn't even sound out simple words like "pivot". I don't know how to feel about this.

My first "failure" of a guitar pedal. I really wanted to like this pedal, it seemed like exactly what I wanted to layer into my sound, but I think this used one is a dud. Half the modes are silent, and the others are so boomy and random that I hate it. Thankfully there is a return policy.

Had an impending sense of doom or foreboding all day today and I just cannot put my finger on it. Really killed my mood. Anyway, was just thinking of the last time I went bike packing through the mountains and how much I miss it. I think this is the only pic I have of the week spent on the trails.

In an effort to improve both range and tactical advantage on stealth missions, we decided to upgrade our Tactical Knife to meet the demands of agents in the field. Our committee of engineers and middle managers assures us this is the most practical way to achieve these goals. Modelled in #Blender3d