Mad that the entire circumference of our bodies excrete liquid. Why can’t we be like pigs

We had a workshop on finding your writers voice, which I always thought meant who we were as a person identity wise, but actually drawing similarities between my scripts, the common denominator is someone who wants to be left the fuck alone lol. I’m Shrek haha

Can’t wait to get started writing Birth Person

People are really likening my pitch for Killerpiller uwu

That tree that smells like cum is in full force today

Cymbeline is ridiculous

A phantom poo and a poo phantom are largely different things

Can’t wait to get paid so I can buy anti chafe pants

What if there were vampires that fed only on saliva and when they kissed you it left you with an awfully dry mouth

Trans caterpillars uwu

No one feed books on the occult to chat gpt

Lots of dreams about pigeons last night

Have we never had a sexy hip hop Easter based song?

I think we’re in burgatory

Mashed potato pompei

That’s it! I’m going to write a musical comedy about getting hair transplants!

They should do one year of google maps where there’s a public tracker on the van and everyone can be silly

Every step I take through london this week I live in fear someone will knock me and rip out my hair grafts. My anxiety has me imagining that I would turn into one of the things from I am Legend and eat their eyeballs if this happens

At what point did evolution decide a nerve in the back of our heads that makes you hiccup for 12 hours when swollen is a good idea

Imagine if the skin on our scalp was malleable and squishy like a but cheek

As I’m layed down on the toilet seat massage table cushion, I look down to see my surgeon wearing blood stained beige crocks with badges on it. All very cutesy, then there’s one of a yellow duck holding a knife lol and that’s all I could see for two hours haha

Stiff kiwi 🥝

Ah yes See it Say it Sort it I will be the hero to take out this suspicious old lady, and I’ll announce it to the world before I do

I think you pay extra for that.

I need to hear Owen Wilson pronounce Joao

Now that’s some bubba gump simping business

5 a day is mad. I don’t eat 5 things a day

Podcast: The curious case of the aerially urinating dolphins www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNu_...

I just really wana watch the greasy strangler in cinems

Tattoo Characters I want

It doesn’t block ads, but by using VPN all ads are now in languages I don’t understand and far easier to ignore!

Taking a risk by being funny in a job application is either gonna land me a job or I’ll never have one. I simply cannot take part in this process unless I make it funny

Pitch deck art for my feature film 'Decomp. This has received incredible script feedback. Well received by #IndependentHorrorSociety. One more draft to go and I'll be sending this to producers and competitions, although I might produce it myself! #filmsky #horrorsky #movies #britishfilm #cinema

Perfect nostril shaped blood clot

It should be public information how much a properties rent has increased each year

Should’ve turned my Face ID off before changing my face

Splints removed. It felt like I was a big gammon joint having my strings cut off

Hundreds of couples participated in a mass wedding in Bangkok as a law recognizing same-sex marriage came into effect in Thailand.

I wonder where the bits of my nose they removed are now 🤔

Only those that joined me on BlueSky get the early sneak peaks. See you in hell fat sausage

Man in elevator: if god gave you a crooked nose you should love the nose god gave you In my head: Sir, I made this nose crooked by eating ass, and I’ll probably do it again

My stay at the Dedeman Hotel is very strange. Everyone walking around has some form of bandage on them. Yesterday during the hospital to hotel transfer a chap banged his head on the car roof and his hair plugs came out and plugged into the roof of the car. A very unique costume setting for a film.

Gentle reminder that you can log off today and exercise, volunteer, play video games, run errands, crochet, bake banana bread, see a friend, binge any TV show, play with your baseball cards, tidy your junk drawer(s), bury yourself in work, whatever you need to do to protect your peace. ❤️

Woke up after surgery tea bagged by these. Reminded me of the Bat Shirt Crazy music video by @sofitukker.music-social.com.ap.brid.gy youtu.be/VDndE432GpU?...

@mcglubber.bsky.social You want skin like mine? pin.it/4I2sw1lNN

Anna Delvey and Luigi Mangione are dating!

Buffoonishly excited about discovering a new variety of the word tampon and even more excited about the medical diagrams which look like shirtposts

You’ll probably see this screenshot floating around a lot but it really was wonderful to see Lynch put a scene in Twin Peaks: The Return where he has his character literally stare at the camera and say that you should either support trans people or die. I needed to hear that in 2017

Ten minutes into getting red note and a selfie is too graphic 😂 is it the moustache?

I bet flamingos get hip pain