Real eyes realize real thighs

I don’t think I’ve ever had hamburger helper but I still made my own version of it. Decent tbh. Lotta room for improvement in future dishes. And yes that’s two types of pasta. I’m a mixologist and it’s called a split base

I’m in my winter you can tell by the snow in my beard — Ka

No points? That’s right bc they’re priceless

You know who should have covered this song back then? The Band that’s who. Garth would have had a field day with this one

I wasn’t alive when this came out but I feel pretty comfortable saying this was a meteor landing on earth

Hard to argue with that

🙂‍↕️

The ancient prophesies will Be fulfilled

Musically speaking I love this. Every other facet is disheartening

🎶 Simply having a wonderful Easter time 🎶

I just had what can only be called an epiphany. A sartorial one. Why am I not deep into the rugby shirt game? That shit would look great on me

Suicide averted bc I have discovered Freddie Hubbard’s music

Despite all my rage I am totally middle aged

Omg Love Is Blind is filming in Philly right now

Just caught up on the Pitt and I am team Santos all day. I like Langdon but she’s right, he’s hiding behind lies of omission

Le fucking sigh

Realized I was out of mayo while making a sandwich and used a Chick fil A sauce packet instead

My Few? Scatered

My Schnickens? Fu

Listening to the Soft Boys and realizing Bob Pollard must have been a big fan huh

I of course really wished I could have gone to that ShrapKnel and Fatboi Sharif show. But now I’m seeing clips on instagram and Brian Ennals dropped in and tore it up??!!

Halal Chipotle and every item on the menu is $8

Pony bottles but for cigarettes. Run me my check Big Tobacco

when is it gonna happen

Wasn’t thrilled to see my record came in an envelope but luckily it was in a mailer inside. It’s pristine. And goddamn I am excited for this one 🤩

Hot take: Chelsea Gray goes to the Sky as a supermax and gets them to the playoffs

The Ramones and Taco Bell both spent decades rearranging the same couple ingredients into new and exciting things. The art is the composition and ratio not the instruments. In this essay I will

Bartender breakfast the day after st patty’s day and we are so fucking back

As far as opening lines of a song go 'Times like these when a neck looks for a knife Wrist for a razor, a heart is longing for bullets' Is right up there at the top

TED LEO/RX ARE PLAYING THE TYRANNY OF DISTANCE IN FULL IN SAN FRANCISCO IN JULY AND I CANT AFFORD TO GO THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

Applying to the place I want. 😬 all kind thoughts and prayers are welcome!

What. The actual. Fuck.

Here’s a terrible lyric from an unwritten 90s grunge song that just popped into my head More parenthetical than parent

Had my first experience with someone stealing a package off my steps this weekend and fuck this is infuriating

When you stiff me this is who you’re stiffing

I have peaked

I worked over 15 hours yesterday, double shift, barback then bartender, on the Saturday before St Pattys at an Irish bar and I made $663. And I'm still mad bc it could have $666 if a few of those cheap fucks hadnt stiffed us

Going to work on the Saturday before st patty’s at an Irish bar and I’ve never used the new POS AMA

I don't believe in guilty pleasures when it comes to music. But I do for tv. And Scrubs is at the top of my list. The new version is solid so far

NEW E L U C I D RECORD

this is a reminder that sometimes Good People can have Bad Opinions because there's this old P.O.S track where Craig Finn talks about how much he disliked 'Predator' (though "Carl Weathers and two former governors" is a banger line)

The Replacements A Tribe Called Quest Iron Maiden Silver Jews Armand Hammer Fiona Apple Funkadelic

Realized today after years of daily antacid use I haven’t taken one in like a month. And I started Cymbalta almost a month ago. That can’t be a coincidence right?

one thing I really like about living in south philly is sometimes when I walk around it smells like my grandmothers kitchen

It’s happening again

Found where your mom works

I dreamt I was a guest on the tonight show (I don’t remember why) and Armand Hammer was the musical act. Talking to E L U C I D after and he told me the next AH record was called POSSESSION. So if that happens you heard it here first