I don't do anything gracefully, so it's unlikely that getting older will be any different...🤣

Cross stitch pattern now on ko-fi as well as Etsy 😊 ko-fi.com/s/4fc839217a

Your walls don't have to lie. Swap the 'Live, Laugh, Love' for decor that tells the truth 😂 Check out the range at ThistleflatCrafts.com

Peak attractiveness is whispering 'for fuck’s sake' while trying to get a knot out of your thread for 20 minutes... Check out the Etsy shop for this and many other delusional pieces 🤣

Them: Just let it go, it's not worth it Me: No.

Approval is optional, but caffeine is not...😂🍵

For those people who are small, busy and not to be underestimated... 🐝

I’ve got approximately 12 minutes of motivation. Let’s not waste it on things like 'conversation' or 'basic life admin' 🤣

I've started a trial with Pattern Keeper now I've worked out how to use it on my laptop. And so far it is simultaneously quite impressive and incredibly depressing...🤣

Working together is beautiful. So is having someone else to point at when it all goes wrong 🤣

Motivational quotes, but make them honest: Perfect for desks, walls and emotional boundaries 😉

Running on caffeine and low expectations. 'C is for caffeinated', a small framed tribute to the only thing keeping things vaguely on track right now...

I'm in the midst of having a clear out and selling stuff on ebay and vinted, so this afternoon I will mainly be trying to get this double inflatable mattress back into it's small box. Pray for me...😂

Approval is optional, but caffeine is not...😂🍵

Motivational quotes, but make them honest: Perfect for desks, walls and emotional boundaries 😉

Running on caffeine and low expectations. 'C is for caffeinated', a small framed tribute to the only thing keeping things vaguely on track right now...

This was meant to be a productive, life affirming kind of day Instead I appear to have committed to… whatever this is 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Hand stitched honesty for the days when enthusiasm is simply not happening...😅

I’ve got approximately 12 minutes of motivation. Let’s not waste it on things like 'conversation' or 'basic life admin' 🤣

Running on caffeine and low expectations. 'C is for caffeinated', a small framed tribute to the only thing keeping things vaguely on track right now...

It's #buyastrangerabook day. If you'd like a book, but aren't sure what, let @melissaschuh.bsky.social know the kinda stuff you like reading. Melissa will offer you a choice of 4 books. Choose your favourite, Melissa will pay for it & I'll send it to you! Get in touch! UK only.

Peak attractiveness is whispering 'for fuck’s sake' while trying to get a knot out of your thread for 20 minutes... Check out the Etsy shop for this and many other delusional pieces 🤣

Them: Just let it go, it's not worth it Me: No.

People in the Tees Valley are not only living shorter lives than the national average, they are spending significantly more of those lives in poor health, and the gap between communities is growing northeastbylines.co.uk/news/health/...

Are you operating at a solid 3/10 today? No, you don't need suggestions. Yes, you need more cake and less talking Available in the Etsy shop

Adventures not turning up on your doorstep? Jane Austen has the right idea...😄

Reading: yes 📚 Talking: no ⚠️

Some days you smash your goals. Some days you smash your enemies Metaphorically. Well, mostly... 😉

So today I have been channelling my inner Blue Peter presenter and covering a boring old frame with pink glittery sticky backed plastic 😂

It seems only fair that you alert people in advance. Give them a chance to run, you know...🤣 Pick it up in the Etsy shop if you need this in your life!

IT'S WEDNESDAY! It's #buyastrangerabook day! The grooviest day of all. I'll give out TWO books. FOR FREE. If you'd like one, let me know. Also, if you'd like to #BuyAStrangerABook too, let me know. It's a thing! Look. www.biggreenbookshop.com/stuff-you-mi... UK only

Another wonderful #buyastrangerabook day offer. @humanaqvi.bsky.social is offering to buy one lucky person the book of their choice, up to £20! So, if there's a particular book that you'd like, get in touch. UK only

Come see me live! Standing up for the Golden Fleece and Medea! We'll be celebrating the paperback launch of No Friend to This House in June, so at these gigs you can get yourself a lovely paperback copy (I'll sign it too). 🔗 nataliehaynes.com/tour/

You really need a sign because people never believe you until it's too late... 😂

Some people buy sports cars I buy embroidery floss and make hoops about my existential dread Same crisis, different aesthetic

For when you have limited patience and an unlimited to-do list This hoop is for everyone who has ever sat through a conversation that should have been a text, or a meeting that should have been an email...

I whisper this to myself most days. Might as well stitch it.

When you tell me to 'calm down' or 'smile more'...🔥😂

For those people who are small, busy and not to be underestimated... 🐝

Channelling my rage into something productive because I can't afford therapy 😅 Nothing says 'cosy home decor like a gentle reminder that billionaires shouldn't exist 😉

When you started plotting their demise in 2019 and you're still at it. Maybe you're not doing it right? But you've committed now. Quitting is for losers...

Motivational quotes, but make them honest... Thriving? Debatable. Self-aware? Absolutely. 😅

Ooh I forgot to do March's reading roundup on The Storygraph and I actually managed to finish a few books this month!

'I’m out of here' Healing...but make it petty 🤣 Because sometimes the wisest thing you can do is remove yourself from that nonsense and go live your best, unbothered life.

Cross stitch pattern now on ko-fi as well as Etsy 😊 ko-fi.com/s/4fc839217a

For those of us running on caffeine, vibes and the vague promise of getting our life together. Later. Just added the pattern to Etsy 🪡😊 #crossstitch

The sunflowers have started to grow!! 🌻💛

And so starts a new week. Pop to the Etsy shop and get something to let EVERYONE know how you feel about it 🤣