Just got a supermarket delivery and remembered why i don’t normally get them.

It’ll turn up when they’re looking for something else

Assume the reason they have pencils in polling stations in for all the Reform voters who haven’t got their pen licences yet

The Evri app is totally useless, which seems very on brand.

Irksome

Would anyone happen to know what bird this feather is from? Found by one of my Brownies on our walk (SE England). It’s about 12-15cm long.

I’ll have what Hungary’s having.

Sylvio is dreaming of the day we all succumb to his iron paw.

This needs sorting , and it needs sorting immediately.

I just went to see Cynthia Erivo in Dracula and OMG, absolutely extraordinary.

Most people know it as Storm Rodney.

Are we really calling a storm Dave?!

We’re all going to die a lot sooner when Reform sell off the NHS so maybe that’s what they meant

I’m at a small suburban train station and there’s a man who looks really like Pedro Pascal. Probs not him.

Just IMAGINE getting cosy with someone, then these are their bedsheets…

17yo: *doing basic German on Duolingo* What? Why’s it “einen” instead of “ein”? Me:

Got sent some flowers today, love that ☺️💐

It’s quite sheepy out this morning

Someone’s asked for a Teams call instead of a phone call and now I have to go and make myself look all meetingy.

16yo has begun watching GoT. One and a bit episodes in, she’s pointed out Tyrion Lannister talks like Victor Meldrew, and now I can’t unhear it.

20yo just handed me a cup of tea and a home made brownie ❤️

My child just requested I make her a Henry VII birthday cake.

Weird how certain people only had British friends

Stupid diaper people

To be fair to Mandelson, I don’t remember any of my friends loaning me $75000 either

17yo has made me a cup of tea, but it’s in “the worm cup”

Anyway, I’ve made cottage pie, and a good 70% of the effort involved was re-mincing the mince in the pan. #MakeMinceMinceAgain

What #Facebook thinks I should buy today

Oh no, that’s so sad about Catherine O’Hara. Her brilliant portrayal of really quite terrible mothers made the rest of us feel much better. Moira, especially, absolutely legendary.

Morning

Oh look, the weather’s horrible, that makes a change

Why do i suspect police use of AI facial recognition will end up with serious crime going undetected, while normal people get banged up for accidentally missing a bulb of garlic in the bottom of the trolley when they scan their shopping?

The Bovril of swimming haute couture.

Congrats to Next for helping us save money in these challenging times, by designing a swimming costume to make you not bothered about going on holiday anyway

Sausage and lentil casserole for tea. Apparently 20yo had a sausage butty for breakfast at her dad’s. Had to say, “you’ll turn into one”, because of mum rules.

“You serve no purpose “. Oof.

That’d be me, gipping and falling over #TheTraitors

Was going to have a walk before work but it’s just yuk out.

Fnar

For well over a decade, Nigel Farage criticised Davos and just two years ago criticised Starmer for going and calling him a "full-on globalist, hanging out with his mates at the World Economic Forum." So, question. Where do you think Nigel Farage is going today?

If anyone needs one, my corner shop’s got King Charles III money boxes. £2.49.

I want a compilation of Stephen’s reactions #TheTraitiors

I have literally no idea why anyone suspects Jade so strongly. She’s a bit mardy is all. #TheTraitors

16yo gets so cross about Roxy gentle parenting everyone #TheTraitors

Lolz at making adult human beings climb into boxes #TheTraitors

Noooooooo! #thetraitors

The home made fishfingers are going well 🙄

I would do this same awkward face if someone fell asleep on my hand