Mum wants steak for tea. She has crinkle-cut chips in. I am inclined to make a prawn cocktail for a starter for the full on 1970s Berni Inn experience.

The superpower I need right now is the ability to determine which of my Ma’s utterances are just vocalised internal dialogue and which actually need a response from me.

4:00 pm yesterday: “Anything you need from the supermarket Mum?”. “No love”. 10:00 pm yesterday: “Actually, I could with … [long list]”. 5:55 this morning, queueing outside fucking Tesco.

Appropriate for Manchester

Things you only remember at Christmas. How fucking long Dr. Zhivago is.

When I made lunch today I cooked extra roast potatoes so that mother could eat them cold later on. Several Good Daughter Points.

I saw him play with Blodwyn Pig in Nottingham in the ‘90s, a wonderful musician.

It’s time.

Last train home before Christmas

North Manchester logic: “The dentist isn’t here yet, chill and get warm”.

Sound FX from The Man In The White Suit #TheArchers

Chatting with someone who went to Bulmershe College of HE

By now I should have stopped being surprised by how much spinach shrinks when you cook it down but I haven’t #WereDidAllThatSpinachGo #Spanakopita

“Dear Sir/Madam, when I ordered a rimmer this was not what I anticipated. Yours, disappointed and unsatisfied, Sarah”

Just watch out where the huskys go …

If your seats are in the middle of the row, for the love of theatre, don’t leave it until the last minute to take them.

That should be my last Saturday morning shopping in town. I’m off to the ballet.

I used to wear a black polo neck most days, it went with the French fags.

This week I took out a subscription to the BFI Player and have been working my way through the French film connection. This morning I reached for my black polo neck jumper.

To all traditionalists who celebrate it, happy Unthanksgiving.

Bought tickets for a gig next September and I and the band are at an age that it’s not nailed on that we will all make it that far.

We did a music quiz last night for an illustrious crowd. One round was felt a bit on the nose for the gathered guests so was left on the cutting room floor. If you fancy a go though, here it is: Nigel Farage Quote or Morrissey Song Title Good luck and no cheating

"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

Looks like today will be built on foundations of two hours of sleep.

Handing back student work that’s been written by ChatGPT with a 0 followed by the comment “This essay will never stand in authentic wonder before the Beauty of God’s creation.”

“You’ll be visited by three spirits.”

My opinion remains unchanged.

One thing I unreservedly love about London is the pronunciation of “faaaaahking ‘ell”:

Film review: The Choral - in places worryingly familiar to this member of Glossop Choral Society.

Knee jerk reaction

What I aim for every morning at the make up mirror

Flipping heck, London, I could have stayed in Manchester for this sort of weather.

Theatre review: the older I get the more I think that Hamlet needs a good slap in the first two acts.

The bag check man who called me “Miss” at the National Theatre has improved my day immeasurably.

Hammersmith and Shitty Line

Visiting Ma always reminds me just got cold my teenage bedroom is.

Just sang Mozart’s Coronation Mass. We made a reasonably good job of it.

What is you mr favourite song about the rain? youtu.be/dJot5NoKOc8?...

I am considering buying a label printer. More news as we get it.

Listening to Gabriel’s Oboe from The Mission and wondering how much people would pay me to not pick up an oboe.

“Is that Boombox Barry! Blimey! Is it that time already?”. #OxfordRoad #Manchester

Proper pub food. Full menu pictured.

Morning

Dear [Recruiter Name], I am afraid that you will need to up your sed/awk game before I respond to your email.

I’ve cancelled Netflix as I only have one streaming service at a time. Their emails entreating me to return are getting increasingly desperate.

Searching for a Yellow Magic Orchestra CD when I discover that Señor Coconut has done his thing with YMO as well as Kraftwerk #InstantPurchase

The lady in the call centre dealing with my mobile phone query wishes me an evening that is “both amazing and great”, which pleases me greatly #FagsMagsAndBags

A Halloween fright for @davidlongford.bsky.social

There is someone on the table next to me spouting nonsense about computers but I am not interrupting and correcting them. Ommmmmmmmm.

It was only when I got a quizzical look that I realised I was whistling the theme to Get Carter.