I am positively giddy about the fact that everyone is piling on the Notre Dame AD for being such a fucking bitch.

You will be visited by 3 spirits.

Its been like 40 years since I did it, but I can tell you from experience that you 100% do not get credit for either of those "pull ups" on that dumb ass presidential fitness test that this dipshit wanted to bring back so badly.

"I assumed I could get everyone to forget that I'm a racist, MAGA, Trump-fucker by just showing them my boobs like usual, but since that didn't work this time, I've asked my publicist to write this milquetoast bullshit so that everyone can get back to focusing on my boobs again." -Sydney Sweeney

I'm a go-for-it-on4th-down truther, and I can't believe how terrible that decision to go for it on 4th down was.

I may go get the hammer.

I accidentally left my hammer at a friend's house, so instead of smashing my fingers one by one, I'm going to spend the night watching the Chiefs try and play offense against the best defense in the league with a bunch of fourth string offensive linemen.

Really excited that the Chiefs play tonight so I get to wait all day to watch an all backups O line allow Mahomes to get sacked 10 times, likely get a concussion, lose by some miserable score like 13 - 6, and finish off the worst weekend of sports in a long, long time.

£400,000 per week.

@malcd73.bsky.social @mikelowetpt.bsky.social @slowedown.bsky.social Party at my house

GET IN!!!!

That's been coming. They are good and this backline is under a lot of pressure. There are goals down the other end. Gotta find them.

Every touch is heavy. Gotta get it sorted.

What a save. Jesus.

FUCK OFF WITH THIS SHIT

You could float every building in Venice for a century with all the silicone in the Kennedy Center right now.

Gianni might be the most bribed person in the world and he can't afford a suit with long enough sleeves.

5 minutes in and the FIFA draw has hit full cringe. This is going to be awful.

I hope @msdarthmikeshair.bsky.social has a great day with a mouf full of hot dogs and an ear full of Spread It Round. I'll even chill on being rebel scum for a day in honor of his 63rd birthday.

Landon Donovan looks like a fucking moron with hair plugs.

lolsp*rs

Request submitted

Meanwhile, I'm in that situation room, knee deep in my second fifth of Jameson, making the important decisions. You got that?

So these tix are about 1/3 of the price they were last time, no?

They are coming here running large drug smuggling operations, killing people, and generally terrorizing everyone, while also taking out mortgages and snapping up all the single family homes on the market. Got it.

I can't begin to tell you how disgusting the sound is that my dog is making right now slurping his empty ballsack.

A fun game you can play is "Which of Megyn Kelly's comments in the last month are the most psychotic?"This is a pretty strong contender, but I'm still going with the one below defending Epstein.

I would encourage you to first try and guess who this is about before checking the full thread to find out.

It's a murder of crows, a tower of giraffes, a crash of rhinos, a prickle of porcupines. Is there a name for a large group of cunts? That would make it easier to talk about everyone associated in any way with this abomination of a football club.

In his defense, he was probably drunk.

Damn, this sucks. Hope Thom is ok soon and they're back at it. Really hoping for some US shows next year.

Happy Birthday, @mikelowetpt.bsky.social!!! Here's to all the Valentine's Day parties, Garden Taverns, Leigh Fordham stories, Cypress platforms, Hampton crews, donut robes, and everything else that's made the last 25+ years such a fuckin trip. I love you, buddy. I hope you have an amazing day!

Man, I don't know if Eze is who I would take off.

I want 3 more.

As I was saying.....

Get that fucking cunt out of the game. BYE.

I am once again reminded that Caicedo does thing he thinks a tough guy should do instead of actually just playing tough.

Is there a way I can bet on Paqueta having put money on himself getting a red card?

If we win art the Bridge without Saliba OR Gabriel.....

There are few things in life that I'm as sure of as I am that Jerry would have HATED John Mayer.

Holy shit. This is pretty fucking ominous.

Good morning, Hoos!!

"Well, Dana, I'm going to need to get back to you. I haven't received the talking points on that one yet."

The only thing this is missing is John Mayer sitting at the table under the Nectar's sign with a private equity bro and 2 college girls wearing a $2500 tshirt and a Vineyard Vines Dead jacket from Section 119.

This is totally my daughter. War Damn Eagle!! cc: @gratefulkelzz.bsky.social

WAHOOWA!!!