my wiggerphobias actin up

Protect your neck, son.

Yeah? Maybe you should.

How am I supposed to believe you want a kiss? You’ve just conditioned me to think the only way to indicate that is by going “schlup” and sticking your tongue out.

I’m not kissing that pumpkin.

[ > You’ve turned your pumpkin into a VERIFIABLE MOTHERFUCKIN’ HYDRIA. You’re carving a pristine goddamn recreation of ZEUS DEFEATING TYPHEUS onto your squash canvas, mighty thunderbolts included. ] The first in my recreation of the Theogony. Next I’ll probably do the Titanomachy.

What the fuck are you talking about?

told u i never miss @miasmajesty.bsky.social

Yeah and you were made in Adobe Photoshop. What’s your point.

Wow, dude. Didn't know you were a racist. It's cause he's Chinese, ain't it.

No, she’s right.

His name’s Kuririn.

mulan has more restraint than me cuz if i was in the army w/ shang i woulda sucked him off 4 a promotion just sayin

What if instead of the Wayward Vagabond he was called the Slayward Fagabond.

I’ll just wash your hair for you.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss Squarewave. Lil’ dude always knew when to surprise a nigga with a deudly rap battle.

What was that?

Nigga, it’s 9:30. You doing too much.

Hey.

Sonny, I’ve been all over this roadmap. You’d be able to get me with this shit if you were the firstborn, but you’re basically the youngest.

Nobody asked. Go kill that guy, my son.

Nah, man. That’s all you. Knock yourself out.

Oh, you’re callin’ me a puppetfag, huh. Still all of them.

All of them.

Why else would they be there?

Yeah. So. How do you know Roxy?

Nigga, when the fuck have you ever.

No.

How’s your stay?

So. Egbert, huh.

Empanadas.

...Who?

No, actually, it’s crazy, we were all planning on moving back to Twitter.

[ > You couldn’t give less of a shit when he levies his threat against you. You’re more concerned about the impending funeral you’re going to have to arrange for your friend. ...Until he mentions Roxy. Instantly, I horizontally bisect his cigar. And this isn’t some approximation of “instant”

#YouGotYourImmortalityForTheFashion, fuck nigga. You ain’t gonna blow.

[ > In one fluid motion, so quick as to have been instantaneous, you’ve donned your PRINCELY GARBS and drawn your katana from your STRIFE DECK. Its design is almost imperceptibly different. From behind your opaque shades, you watch as C-Man’s ashes scatter to the wind. You’ll mourn him later. ]

Skaian bullshit.

No the fuck you’re not.

Damn. I should have stuck around. I’m not above killing a kid. ...Whatever, it’s fine. Your soul can still be fractured and split—all I gotta do is repeat the process I used to trap you in that fucking puppet.

11:31.

Don’t you dare start talking about a fucking redemption arc. I’ll shove my katana so far up your ass it’ll come out your scalp if I hear you say fucking anything about how you changed or got redeemed.

Yeah, I didn’t ask how you got here, but cool story. I’ll make sure to forget it. Go to hell, man.

Roxy, I’m watching your stream, why you tryin’ not to laugh, man, that’s disrespectful as fuck.

Oh what the fuck.

This dude’s been in a relationship for less than a week and he’s trying to pick a fight with a guy who’s been married for several years.

I thought you were 4’11”, what the fuck do you mean you’re shorter than that.

Give it another minute. I know you well enough to know you’re enjoying the hell out of this.