I’ve got a joint, I’ve got Supernatural on, I’m drinking a delicious dirty soda, and I’m coloring my own tarot deck. British Vogue is right, having a boyfriend is embarrassing. There are like 4 dudes worth the time of day and they’re all married or my platonic life mate.

Sydney Sweeney and Scooter Braun deserve each other. Gross as fuck.

Probably late to the party, but this Pete Buttigieg interview is incredible Pete talks about problems in a smart, positive way that is so refreshing to hear Escape the doom spiral for an hour and a half and check it out youtu.be/DlL376A1hMo?...

Three songs in and this is a straight up pop record. I like it…but I haven’t heard Eldest Daughter yet, that may destroy us all.

I know it’s not Twitter but fuuuuuuuck bama

Black Rabbit dropped? Talk to yall after I consume all this Jason Bateman content😍

I had a spot on my foot biopsied on Tuesday and holy shit I’m still in so much pain it’s unreal. This is coming from a chronic pain person. I think it’s the beginning of an infection. I guess we’ll see what it looks like tomorrow and how swollen my foot is when I wake up.

Whyyyy do men treat words with friends like a fucking dating app? Men constantly start games with me and then get pissy & message incessantly when I don’t respond. Or they just resign. Sorry, I’m not here to answer A/S/L for these weirdos.

I decided I’m going to bed after this episode of The Bear and this mf episode closes with New Noise. You want me to sleep after one of the greatest intros of all time? Or go to sleep after Refused at all is crazy

Coming soon

The spanogram being #pride themed today made me super happy #NYT

Living in the northeast has its perks I won’t lie. I’m at a Kevin Seconds show and just casually said hi to Ian McKaye.

My sister and I just sat about 150’ behind the stage and listened to Sza & Kendrick Lamar. It was so much fun, it wasn’t affordable but parking behind the venue (it’s outside) for free was amazing.

You’re telling me ABRAHAM LINCOLN who abolished slavery couldn’t enjoy one night at the theater, and that orange piece of shit showed up last night and lived?!? The fuck?

🏆 I love LA.

The What’s Up With That sketch with Samuel L Jackson and Jason Sudeikis dancing like a maniac makes me laugh out loud every single gd time.

I'm attending No Kings's event, “NO KINGS Harrisburg PA” - sign up now to join me! www.mobilize.us/nokings/even...

Got in the lottery to try to buy tickets for the bananas at Camden yards Fingers crossed

For someone who has never birthed a child the way my life rights itself when one of my kids calls or messages me is crazy. I was having a good day, now it’s fucking great. Just a 30 minute catch up will keep me happy for days 🥰

Note to self: the vigilant hoes is the name of my new online zine

So far my sister and a close friend have been bugging me to watch Handmaids Tale…I’m so excited based on their reactions…but also nervous and sad bc it’s almost over.

The Vu Tang Clan? Yes please!

I met the guy who moved Annabelle. I feel really good about that. So good that I’m going to rewatch his old show, Paranormal State. She took down a plantation, I can only imagine where she goes from here. #TeamAnnabelle

When I say they ALWAYS come back, I mean it. It’s Wednesday, two men have hit me up this week that I haven’t seen in at least a year, two for one of them.

Is it weird that one of my life goals is to go on Hot Ones? I don’t even fuck with super hot shit. I just want to be invited. 😂

#ICE isn't "deporting" immigrants, it is kidnapping them. #DOGE isn't "fixing" the government, it is dismantling it. #Trump isn't "helping" Americans, he is retaliating against them. Pam Bondi isn't "upholding" the Constitution, she is ignoring it. #FuckTrump #Resist #Felon47

This is so fucking gross. LMJ has done a lot for his city, and to not have a great start after missing two full seasons is not a reason to threaten him or his kids. www.houstonchronicle.com/sports/astro...

Doechii & Megan thee Stallion at a met gala table is literally my dream blunt rotation

In case anyone is keeping tabs this morning at 4am Ben Gunby messaged me trying to pick up a conversation from 2017

Good morning formerly #BravesTwitter You’re welcome 🫶🏻 www.facebook.com/share/1KjbD5...

Fuck the dodgers, I’m going to assume every team member who showed up is a racist piece of shit.

Teachers really are our heroes.

what booker is doing right now is an example of what i mean when i say things like “we need more ambition right now.” there is room in american politics right now for people with ambition to take big stands and reap the rewards. he’s doing it!

This administration seeking the death penalty against Luigi feels like a set up for protests so the administration can martial law some shit.

Cory Booker in his 14th hour of this filibuster looks more well rested and ready to attack the day than I do. I woke up an hour ago

Every day is April Fools Day in America with this clown show running things.

If there’s one thing Braves Twitter does well it’s to absolutely kill online voting and anything online that has to do with the team’s popularity. Blooper being the second most followed mascot is no surprise at all www.axios.com/2025/03/24/m...

ATTENTION PREVIOUS BRAVES TWITTER fox5atlanta.com/news/former-...

Bro the bullpen is raising my bp and it is game mf ONE

I guess it’s time to see how this app handles baseball

Yeah no shit we don’t have rule of law in this country. We could have gotten much closer to it, but a bunch of dildos somehow ruined it.

Who is giving me an mlb tv password so I can watch the game today? Man I miss peak Braves Twitter right now.

Let me guess, Elon is pitching his own open-source, encrypted messaging service to replace Signal. Same way he's gutting NASA for SpaceX or replacing the FAA telecommunications contract with Starlink. Trump & his cronies really think the American people are a bunch of rubes.

Usha’s not coming home honey

Hey guys I’m going to take the day and go OOO, I accidentally got added to a group chat and now I have the nuclear codes so I’m gonna go sit with that for awhile.

John Lithgow as Dumbledore is going to be incredible holy shit

Can you imagine being brown and agreeing to acknowledge let alone represent this administration?!?

I haven’t paid an ounce of attention to baseball this off season but neither of these moves surprised me in the least. Jesse & Craig will be on the opening day roster. Can’t wait.

I needed this reminder. Boycotts don’t feel like enough, but any act regardless of size is still an important act of resistance.

The mental gymnastics republicans will do to back up conspiracy theories is insane.