Rise of The Machines

I will continue to blast this until this entirely useless, and not even all that entertaining, form of media is scorched from the earth. The Jubilee Media team made a corporate level decision to show baby pictures of their management team on their About Us page. Fucking cringe.

I don’t follow Meidas Media and my impression of them is “slightly less suck ass Pod Save America.” But one of those dipshits showed up in my feed and he doesn’t even allow quote reposts, so into the block list you go asshole. Eat shit @meidastouch.com

Just tying up a few loose ends no big deal.

Waow a vibe coded child sex trafficking ring

I think a fun thing to ask Lindell at a town hall would if he would return the captured Virginia battle flag. I am honestly curious. I think he’d say no. But that would piss off the neo-confederate MAGA movement. If he says yes it will piss off Minnesotans. Either way it would be a legit question.

Jesus Christ

It happened again. Despite @schnorkles.bsky.social pretending he’s the most anti-consumerism guy on the planet, Schnorkles drunk dialed me sobbing the Oscar-Meier Weiner song. I don’t know why my friend gets maudlin and wants to be a hot dog instead of a husband and family man. I hope he gets help.

Lmao I don’t trust any news about a deal but this is kinda where I expected it to go so lmao again. All that money we cut from healthcare? We used it to bomb a school and give Iran everything they’ve wanted for decades. MAGA

I had a dream where I was in an AI generated office building and I needed to find my nice shoes for a meeting. But every room I went into was nonsensical, made no cohesive sense as a whole, and I only got confusing answers from the building employees.

I think it's insidious how Google is telling us, "We're going to make the search function suck shit and also boil a gallon of water just because you wanted to look up Chinese pickup near you." What are some websites that still make you laugh? Seanbaby.com still makes me laugh, even if it's old.

I had a very weird interaction at the gay bar. After being served 3 shots of J&B for free I stepped out for a smoke. Guy asks for a smoke. Common. But it was like talking to a chatbot made in the 60’s. Just repeats everything back to me. Like a smart parrot. TBI? Neurodivergent? I was polite.

When I beat a Silksong boss in less than 5 tries: youtu.be/QwBYnNp8xYg?...

Ok I know what the current administration is doing but I’m not gonna be sad that this guy got what he wanted. Congrats your dream came true. Get the fuck out.

@schnorkles rode up on his trusty steed, Schnorklebell, and came to a skidding halt, the setting sun to his back. They were saved; the best gunman in the West had arrived. "Thank God you're here," cried Doc Holliday. "Schnorkle?" Schnorkles replied, pointing to himself stupidly. "Schnorkle bork?"

I’m the president getting my ass kicked by Iran because I did the dumbest thing possible, and which the military has been gaming out as the dumbest thing possible for decades, boasting about owning a beloved late night host and comedian.

Holy shit I was staying in but my fingers were sore from playing Silksong for hours. So I went to the Copper Bucket. I will let my texts tell the story. I love this bar now. Quarter for scale. I gave her $3 in ones as thanks.

I used to live near the Celebrity Center. And whenever I drove home late at night I’d troll the hell out of them. The CoS owns the apartments across the street from it. So there’s cult members going back and forth at all hours of the day. They also promise you telekinetic powers if you work at it.

I knew the UK had a really coordinated anti-trans movement. But this puts it in perspective. Just insane to me that some insane rich people are this obsessed.

Lmao

I listened to the recent Know Rogan podcast which covers a Tulsi Gabbard interview. She is the most incredibly boring person. I can not think of an emptier vessel. Anyway, bye bitch. That gray stripe of hair for ~the fallen soldiers~ was dumb af and 90's X-Men coded.

Gonna show up to my interview half drunk and barely able to breathe tomorrow because I am down wind of a giant fire. So I’ll just listen to this and hope it comes out well.

I love this basic shit

I hate this shit because no matter how toxic Social Media is the premise is at least you are engaging with another human being. AI’s promise is that it removes the other human being from the equation. Wow. No I can be more lonely more efficiently??

Bar question: If a pint of beer and a shot come out to X dollars and 50 cents in change then a dollar and the quarters is a fair tip? I feel like big tips are for complicated drinks. But if it’s just two different basic pours then -consistently- tipping either a dollar or $0.75 per drink is good.

I wouldn’t be watching the last Colbert show if the President hadn’t demanded it be canceled. Like I can’t believe a sitting president can get a show canceled because it made him angry. I don’t consider this any kind of protest. Just, like, wtf? You’re the president. People will mock you.

Going to a straight dive bar as a gay man is like being straight on easy mode. I work out. I do my best to eat right. I groom myself. I have wavy hair that looks great in both a casual and corporate setting. Two women came up and chatted me up. I was just dicking around because I can’t sleep 1/X

I found out there’s a dive bar near me I had no idea about. Pint of Sam Adams and an enormous double shot of well whiskey for $12.50 isn’t bad. Anyway it is divey. Sitting at the bar and I’m pretty sure someone just ordered a round on meth because I heard his entire life story over the transaction.

Gonna miss Colbert. Never watched beyond the intro monologue and the first segment. And it was watered down compared to Colbert Report. But it was the only place where you could hear real news like, “Lol the president fell asleep on camera again look at this old POS.” *cartoon sleep noises*

He even texts like an ogre.

if you're cis and you are asked by your management to police bathrooms, "can you confirm in writing that you are ordering me to approach customers to discuss their sex?" is an email no manager wants to reply to

Ah, yes, progress. "Listen we just need this obvious theft of taxpayer dollars to look at least a little legitimate."

A decent chunk of Gen Z is in college, which includes meal plans. Does that count as a restaurant? Does a workplace cafeteria count as a restaurant? What is this bullshit study with no name?

I found this cartoon on Netflix called Agent Elvis and it’s insane to me it got made. Matthew Mccauneghy as Elvis. Dee from Always Sunny. Don Cheadle. Niecey Nash from Reno 911! Just an insanely good voice cast for something that’s kinda mediocre but saved by the talent.

Doesn’t this make our troops less safe? Like you don’t kill sailors in the water because: 1) They aren’t a threat, they’re not even worth the ammo. 2) You want to establish some level of respect, even with with your enemies, so they’ll do the same for your troops.

Gov Jared Polis told a Colorado Sun event that his decision to give clemency to Tina Peters "will be remembered fondly." He was later interrupted by protesters carrying an enormous banner reading EAT SHIT POLIS coloradosun.com/2026/05/19/j...

“I’m saying fuck Brian Thompson. I don’t give a flying fuck he died,” says Ashley Rojas, wearing her press badge provided by @mayor.nyc.gov. Lena Weissbrot adds that Thompson’s teenage sons “are better off without him” and should “enjoy the blood money.”

The suspect intros in Fashion Police Squad are hilarious 🤣 they totally fit in with the vibe of the game! Suspects are often introduced in the goofiest way possible, and the title display for them looks cool! New suspects also bring more variety to the combat, they introduce them in a fun way!

The revolutionary new technology to ruin all your most special moments and turn everything into a weird stupid thing that solved a problem nobody had

I’m a diagnosed narcissist so actually someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is perfect for me because I can just think about myself when they go off the rails.

Much more than a boy

I’m seeing my They Bae today. I’m actually not 100% on their gender identity. This gets really confusing talking to my gay bros as I proclaim their greatness and do my best to respect them. I am in need of better language. Also they will be pissed because I am already drunk before noon.

I wanna block one thing with a katana. Just once in my life. Even if it’s another Process Server giving me divorce papers.

Finally got back into Silk Song and I have no idea what I’m doing but I sure like killing shit.

My grandma used to volunteer at a local high school teaching chorus and she took me to a production of the Roy Rogers musical. It was good for high school level. But afterward I told her, “How could you not use the bit where he mocked the FBI for shooting people?” 1/2

Fed minimum wage has also been frozen since 2009. Suck it up you weird little freak.

Why??? Fuck her.

This Mexian street food vendor near me this amazing, super spicy red sauce. I always get some extra to bring home. Anyway, I can tolerate the spice now but my body still reacts. Had two ramikens of it last night on my tacos al pastor and the sides of my head were dripping sweat. Good shit.

This is such a hilarious overestimation of future demand.