Do androids jerk it to electric feet

What happened on Epstein’s island to make Trump hate the Clintons? What social fopaux occurred?

We here @waitwaitdonttellme.bsky.social are in full support of robbing the congressmen and women to fund ourselves. If you see @petersagal.bsky.social walking around with a big bag full of money, no you didn’t.

Feeling like I could do more good in the world if I had a sword

A side effect of wearing skinny jeans no one talks about is it made everyone gluten intolerant

Photos from Waystone Pizza, Fayetteville Ark.

Success is a weird feeling when you’re used to failure and disappointment.

You can just make things up about Mormons They’re weirdly good at close up magic

Hardwood tongue and groove sounds dirty as hell for flooring. Perverts

I don’t think any amount of ska music can fix what’s wrong with me

Art school is fucking weird, what do you mean my chair is due Thursday? I don’t know how to make a chair

“Know your worth” Bitch, I am on the clearance rack with three mark down stickers

Rifftrax’s legal department skinned my ass for reposting an episode on youtube

Gonna start sending out soul train inspired flyers through usps and call it FUNK MAIL

Once when I was 16 I was at a urinal and an older man walks in and announces “Well if it isn’t Mr. Hot Cock himself”

Monte Cristo Nachos?

I’ve been hiding beets in my wife’s food for a week, she just now confronted me about the color of her pee

Bruce Timm has a thing for redheads and I respect it

I’m jumping off her bean Call me weevil knievel

My cousin Throckmorton shat in my mulch

There are ducks that lived through the Carter administration

FUCK RUSSEL STOFFER. Your candy tastes like car exhaust

RFK donates bed bugs to kids in need

Um, actually. That’s not “Moby Dick”, it’s “Ishmael’s hot dong”

I throw Chex mix at kids with celiac

The Rat at Fossil Cove Brewey

Just installed a water filter, damn thing was a pain. Might hang out on a grassy knoll