Attention fans of other MLS teams! If your ownership is considering hiring a guy as GM whose entire resume is “I picked up Cucho Hernandez up at the airport” you should absolutely support their decision.

We’re now in a new GM, new coach, and three window rebuild cycle. Maybe we’ll be back in 2028.

By then tickets will have increased another 10% 3 times. Thats... alot of percent.

Giving up 2 hat tricks in a row has to be a record. Is it time to give Hagen the start or does Schulte's million dollar salary keep him between the pipes? @tombogert.bsky.social @mattdoyle.bsky.social @massive-report.com

"We'll see what Columbus is cooking..." #crew96

They'll probably come in 2027 they need to wait for the revenue they'll get when they raise our ticket prices 20% again in July.

I made a fun color coded "Player for Sale" chart. Pink: Please God get this off the books now. Green: If someone comes in with a good number take it. Blue: Are we cleaning money with this loan? Yellow: I dont want to see a disrespectful Aidan level number but sell while the iron is hot. €7m+ #crew96

They should be tossed from the league just for that stupid haircut. #UTB #Boro

Is it too much to hope that Kim Hellberg does a press conference where he says something like "They won because they are cheating f*cks and we should be going to Wembley." #utb

Had an odd interaction with someone. They were taking a dog in to the vet and it had full face muzzle and no pull harness and were complaining they had to spend $3k to send them to a Christian Obedience School because its aggressive. Your dog doesn't need Jesus. Its a Dutch Shepherd it needs a job.

Better the cat claws my shirt than my flesh.

#HenrikOut? @joeclowery.bsky.social @mattdoyle.bsky.social #crew96

Were bad. #crew96

Group hug!

They were probably watching Aidan thinking "how does he get such a lovely beard?" Also this is embarrassing, hiding in the bushes like a cartoon character. They should be ashamed. #Boro

You know... Henrik's joke about wanting more coaches actually provides a unique opportunity. #crew96 could hire an entire female staff of coaches for the #NWSL team that can be trained as first team coaches, maybe fulfilling badge requirements, months before they even build a roster. Just a thought.

We were the best team in North America 15 months ago. Its not an outrageous goal. The two questions that should follow that statement though are: 1) What are the players doing to achieve the status lost when Cucho left? 2) What is the #Crew96 FO doing to return to AND retain that level? #Retention

Work quote of the day: "Trust filthy hillbillies to know how to mix chemicals right."

Hello snake.

Many times when I see people complaining about USSF or its relationship to MLS I laugh until tears burst forth because I know that FMF is far weirder.

Didn't he also keep the American Bison from going extinct because it is delicious?

I know the Customs dog is doing its job but it's so damn cute and I want to hug it. She's a Terrier and is so happy to be doing a good job.

Gathering size ideas for the #Crew96 monument honoring Darlington Nagbe.

Film you've watched more than six times with gif hard mode: no star wars, star trek, lotr, dc, marvel, disney, pixar, dreamworks, spielberg, cameron, wachowskis, or ghibli

Whole rack of Crew tartan at Prickly Thistle in Inverness. They're the ones that made the Witches Tartan.

Wasn't Phil pretty "fuck Columbus" during STC 1.0 @morganhughes.bsky.social?

13-year anniversary of the greatest Tweet in MLS history

this is america. you could find yourself within 100yds of a shooting at any time, in any place. school, the grocery store, a movie theater, a block party, a public park… it happens to regular people every day. but this week we’ll get 50+ weepy op-eds because it happened to the guys who write op-eds

Peri peri chicken and mac & cheese restaurant. Night club with room for 500-800 people that has live music or comedy 9 shows a week.

It's the White House Press Corps, so we'll find out the details in 27 different books approximately 2-3 years from now.

Crew fans, Aidan Morris says we have to hang on to hope for our beloved #crew96. I asked if he can come back and help out but he says hes busy right now.

The answer better be "nothing" or "we ordered so many everyone gets 2 extra."

Im convinced I did permanent damage to my voice by shouting "Black Helicopters!" as him for years any time a helicopter flew over.

Columbus fans are now taking applications to be our rivals in 2028. Step right up and make your case as to why Columbus Helldivers (just a name I think would be fun) fans should hate your team. #NWSL #Nwsltocbus

Leicester Fans: (@soccercooligans.com)

My best friend. Hes genuinely hyped when I get home every day. Hes closer than family and keeps me striving to keep living.

Phil has made a career out of making #crew96 fans mad.

This has been one of my biggest arguments as to why I think Issa has been a failure. We are being charged 20% more and seeing 20% less on the field. Now they have to pay for more stadium expansion. MLS teams dont have to fear relegation but #Crew96 should fear disappointing THIS fanbase.

Eliot is smart. Eliot says what I think. Which means Im not a total dumb dumb. Yay me.

Hey Issa. Sign some defenders. #crew96

Seriously this team looks 1000% cooked mentally. I think we're going to see someone do something really stupid on the field or were going to hear about a mysterious team suspension that will be a result of intersquad asskicking. Also Rudy needs to go sit down. #crew96 @mattdoyle.bsky.social

The timing is classic Ohio politics. Like the type of stuff we expected to happen when working in Cincinnati local races. They hold the worst of the oppo dirt for the week after the filing deadline and the two weeks before the vote.

The skyline so beautiful that it inspired a man to make a sweet meat sauce and put it over spaghetti

Why do we still send flowers to people's memorial? Send a bag of bagels and assorted cream cheese or better yet assorted sandwiches. "Uncle Bill always did enjoy salami and cheese."

Bitch I will beat your ass

2nd half hat trick from Adams with assists from Zawadzki and Owen Prestus once Gazdag is pulled. #crew96 #WhatsTheOppositeofSunshineBrigade #ImHavingStramboliInsteadofWatching