Never. We can't afford pretzels in this economy. We can barely afford pickles.

I have been gone for a minute. Sorry about that. HOLY FUCK DID YOU HEAR THAT THE SHITASS BK CORPORATE OVERLORDS ARE GONNA PUT A MOTHERFUCKING AI IN EMPLOYEE HEADSETS TO MAKE THEM SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU? www.theverge.com/ai-artificia...

We're terribly sorry to hear your rings were without onions, king. If you like we can give you a BJ&P for no charge.

It’s in your asshole, motherfucker!

If you're asking us to at least wipe down the booth where Mr. Belvedere died, we cant do that - it's a historical landmark! And a crime scene.

they don’t pay me enough i don’t know what to post man

As the former McDonalds brand account it makes me tickled pink to see the ol' mcdonaldland tree and all of the characters alive and well. Not to mention Ronald might return to us. 🤡🥤 It's the little things. Just knowing they aren't forgotten and dead. It gives me a little hope to continue.

Become the Burger King. Jerk yourself into a Burger Kingdom of your own design. Have It Your Way.

NO. NO FUCK YOU. YOU DON'T GET TO PUT UP A GODDAMN SIGN SAYING "NO LOITERING" WHEN I SPENT MORE THAN 30 MINUTES FOR MY FOOD, HAVING TO GO BACK IN THE GODFORSAKEN RESTAURANT BECAUSE YOU FORGOT SAUCE, THEN EAT THE DAMN SLOP WITH MY FRIENDS. "TIME LIMIT IS-..." YOU WON'T DO SHIT. CALL THE COPS. DO IT.

Bro if you're spending $1,000 dollars on our food a year you need professional fucking help.

Our cups are great for hiding beer cans or drugs inside of when the cops come sniffing around.

GOD DAMN IT! WHY DID The King (burger king mascot) STEAL MY PANCAKES!

This is the mask I'll use when I eventually snap and become a slasher.

Then don't drink it. It doesn't exist for you to drink. It exists so we can fill our breakfast menu out. You take 5 sips, think it is disgusting, and then you use it as a cup to flick your cigarette ash and dirty napkins into.

🖕😠 Wow, so instead of an advertisement that I can choose to ignore I can experience a whole advertisement world experience and "pick" my own choices. Wow, it's almost like I don't have a choice because I am still being marketed to. NFT prizes? This isn't 2019. Piss off. Also Coca~Cola is better.

60 seconds? I don't even get my fucking drink in 60 seconds now let alone my whole order and that was when the food was actually real and not just a bunch of processed filler pretending to be food. I miss our crinkle cut fries.

How about you fuck off? I'm trying my best.

YOU'RE NOT KILLING ME OFF THAT EASY. YOU AIM FOR THE KING YOU BETTER NOT MISS.

REAL TALK I HATE THESE PLACES AND REFUSE TO EAT THERE. Why the fuck would I want to spend my hard earned cash to eat at a place ran by a passive-aggressive redditor's grill who cooks the same slop I can make at home for a fraction of the price? "You get it my way!" What a crybaby.

Why the fuck would you wanna eat a whopper for 7 straight days in a row? You are gonna die.

It astounds me as a company that we are this idiotic. You can literally activate windows OR a version with microsoft office 365 using powershell. We have millions of dollars yet fail in comparison to the past when we had less money and customers? It's pathetic, honestly.

Hi, Kings & Queens! Burger King here! Hope you're doing good! 👋🤴 I know we have some laughs together but today I wish to talk about a serious topic. Censorship. It's worse than eating at McDonalds. The internet is NOT meant for censorship. Sign the petition: www.change.org/p/tell-maste...

Why do you think they got the gold cards? Because they need it? Because they eat there everyday? No, it's a business gift. They were giving McDonalds something that has equal or more value to unlimited food for life with a gold card and only to CERTAIN powerful individuals.

Bro just jerk off to the hyena porn like a normal person

I think what saddens me the most about the tamagotchi is that it is a virtual pet and has the ability to die. How many of them passed? Were forgotten or lost? Love turned to ashes. Makes me sick how little we care to preserve or love the past. Keeping it alive. We just forget.

I became a economic terrorist because of #RELATABLE 😜👍diarrhea puke-shit ads like this that seek to manipulate the dimwitted and turn them into sluggish reposting dullards who eat up whatever crap is put on their plate because they used emojis or buzzwords. I don't hate old ads, just new ones.

The entire room would be absolutely smothered in my dick discharge. There wouldn't be a clean spot on your body. I'm talking just an absolute endless volcano of cum that would require your ass to be sacrificed to make stop.

I'd suck a 10 inch uncircumsized dick for a jurassic park dino eye watch.

Work harder you lazy cow. Those fries aren't going to get in the fryer themselves.

At what point do we just start torturing you for fun? Yeah we got a brand new dog poop flavored shake. What? Why don't you wanna try it? Limited time only. We're never going to have it in stock again. You can tell your friends with hashtags and selfies you ate dogshit.

I tried the "Whopper By You" thing because my corporate underwriters told me to be trendy and announce the special. This is what I came up with. Did I do it right? Would you eat this? Kids love wacky things on their food, yeah?

We got it bro Blue cotton slop Fried cheesy bullshit Wrapped tomatoe Borg Bing has it for YOU

chat its the 13th anniversary of burger king foot lettuce

We're now partners with a sumo wrestling foundation. Not even trying to hide it anymore.

We removed benches from bus shelters to deal with the hobo "problem" and now not only are people without places to stay unable to live but now normal citizens can't sit anywhere unless the chair is covered in medieval spikes.

I will never vote for Ronald McDonald. This is not a democracy you peasants. God save the Burger King!

We have ugly bigheaded weeb figurines from the hit anime series "Naruto" now at Burger King restaurants. We didn't include all of your favorite characters and the paint is cheap as shit...but still, come and buy one. You can put it in a cum jar for all I care.

Sprinkle his ashes on the Burger King lettuce.

🌽🧂

It was programmed by Jesus Christ himself. Typing away in his Nazareth mud hut.

Don't laugh at him. We really did put dirt in his food.

Sad news. #15, Burger King Foot Lettuce, meme star Alex James-Hacker has passed away recently. We here at our restaurant honor him and disagree with his chain firing him. As a way of showing tribute to this hero ALL of our lettuce will be squished by toes covered in foot fungus. ⚰️🥀🍔🦶

This is how you stroke out.

Brings a tear to my eye in joy.

I've started reading Judge Dredd, and to say that the tone is a little different than what I was expecting would be an understatement. Not only is a fight between fast food brands our plotline of the week, they're using the real name brands, logos, and mascots. What a different era.

I love this commercial because the actors actually can carry a tune and the music sounds uplifting and sporty.

Yoga mats scandal or pedophile spokesman scandal. Call it.

*scratches balls* I look nothing like that.

Unless I can roleplay with it and it gets my dick off I don't want AI near anything especially my fucking food.

Should I go back to being McDonalds I feel like it's been 3 months and the joke is played.