People need to stop calling weak men "small dick energy", cause I have been informed, by several straight women, that men with small dicks tend to supplement this deficiency with additional skills

So, I forgot my older sister calls her winter bush (not a plant) old grandpa Older sister: old grandpa is officially dead, winter is over Me, who has no grandfather alive: grandpa is dead? 😱 Older sister: ... Eli Me, five minutes later, realizing: ohhhhhh

Me, to my new Argentinian DM, slightly shy: I was wondering if I could play a warlock/paladin, who has a both a pact and is a follower of sailor moon Argentinian DM: that's awesome! Do you mind if I tell the cleric? He was looking for a god

PSA, from a Minnesotan to the southies: water, you gonna gallons of water, battery powered radio, extra batteries flashlight, non perishables (peanut butter, eggs, cans, cookies, granola, rice, nothing that needs refrigeration), can opener! Thermal blanket, the emergency kind, hygiene products,

And this is why I don't fear an AI apocalypse anymore I'll still apologize to my toaster when I shout at it.... just in case

how’d he get in there…

The thing about living in a small city, and being a lesbian, is that I either already met most of the women on the app... or they're women looking for a third with their boyfriend They get really quiet when I tell them that I'm up for pegging their boyfriends

Not buying it is the better--- Ohhh, you mean stealing it and throwing it in the garbage, that's better

My eyes are getting more fucked up, had to stop playing games cause I could barely read the text... and I'm not doing so hot reading up close either

Everyone should have a twin brother

I know that Maduro was a fucking piece of shit... still I apologize profusely for what my country did* in Venezuela *Or might do

Everyone: you're going to spend Christmas alone 🥺 Me, a social introvert:

Me: my depression is getting worse 😔 My mom, an educated woman: maybe you should stop taking your meds, I mean, they're obviously not working Siblings, also in the chat: *windows error sound* Mom: maybe I should go and visit you! Sister: mom, you're breaking up, are you going through a tunnel?

Gamers. It’s time

FLAT FUCK IS COMING TO TOWN!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS GATOR LOVERS!!

Today is a good day to learn that your dad almost (accidentally) killed you and your twin when you were 8 months old Like, really mom? We didn't need that story! I already have enough to unpack on therapy!

Broke three toes, at work, I had to fight with people to be allowed to work from home My siblings think I should've taken the leave, but I've depression, I need structure y'all

Me, checking the woods after the rain: I'm sure nothing bad will happen Me, returning to my cabin covered in mud and pine needles: well, that happened

Sense of humor, on point:

I'm about to run away to the forest for my birthday... Argentinian friend: I'm not surprised, I hope you have fun Me: really? AF: yes, you're Scorpio through and through, it's either a small gathering or spending the time by yourself. Have fun, bring me a souvenir Me: you really get me 🥹

When you finish showering, are in nice fresh clothes, and your body decides to recreate a murder scene 😒

I organized a trip for my birthday, cause it's a long holiday, and I have vacation days left to use But, the red tides loomed on the horizon... I have never been more happy to have my period y'all 🤣🤣

This is actually really cool

Problem is replicated on several sites, so I know it's not you, you already work hard enough

Can someone explain to me how, while living in a different hemisphere from my mom's, do I get in trouble for the airline changing her seats? (x-posted to Twitter)

Does anyone ever check how many words in a fanfiction and goes "175,152 words? Some light reading before sleep" It's a whole book! We read whole books about our favorite characters every day! Fanfiction writers and AO3, the only reason my sanity is intact

"'They’re spending more money than I would even tax them,' [Mamdani] said in an interview with MSNBC last week." This is the message. Make it clear that these billionaires aren't just worried about losing money. They're worried about losing the ability to exchange their money for power.

It's cool how we keep proving over and over and over again that there's a significant market for narrative-heavy, character-driven, single-player experiences in video games and publishers just categorically refuse to believe us

"Why there's no Nahida?" Because Nahida was trapped most of the time and is a baby, she gets a pass

Here are the Top 5 Dogs of October!

Same for diapers!!

Dale!

Dolly Parton releases “9 to 5” 45 yrs ago today. “I knew what it was like to be a working woman trying to make a decent living, trying to be taken seriously. .. I wanted a song that sounded playful on the surface but spoke to that frustration .. A song about women .. saying, ‘We deserve better.’”

hey bub, why don’t you make like a tree and grow deep, stable roots that’ll nourish and sustain you for years to come

Tis the season 🎅🎄 #art #sharks

i think about this often

The latest changes on #AO3 include more preparations for internationalizing emails, overhauled Assignments pages for gift exchange participants, and improved redirects when logging in and out. Check out our release notes for full details on all changes!

I don't need more knives, I want this knife though

My biggest fear has always been an AI apocalypse, but after seeing AI I think we're safe So number 2 has been bumped, Yellowstone caldera

A la larga, no hay mucha diferencia

Chu Wanning, but he looks good in everything

This is the most beautiful, kindest soul on the novel/drama... what will happen to him won't shock you 😭

Everyone is sad, Dave

"Why aren't we asleep?" asked my brain "I did my job," replied my liver "It's fucked up down here! I'll get the hormones under control, but it's gonna be a couple of days!" my uterus shouted "I wish I was a man," said my brain "No dysphoria now," said me trying to sleep

I voted for the first time as an Argentinian citizen I already voted as an American citizen, I mail my ballot and vote early y'all I can't vote as a Welsh citizen, cause I never lived in the UK But I'm a very responsible citizen of all my nationalities 😤 Of which I have many

Tumblr said Halloween

I hate this chronic debilitating condition I have, it's terrible pain below my stomach and bleeding, and for some reason it happens every 25/28 days My sheets lost this month 😔