"If I was a driver, I'd make sure [Hocevar's] bumper was touching his firewall" is an odd thing for a commentator (Harvick) to say.

FUCK OFF SANTINO

Why the hell is Mariah Carey there? Did we threaten to start bombing their "drug boats" or something? Was this a secret deal to keep ICE from shipping people to Italy?

Good job, Buffalo. Getting shitbag Denver coach one step closer. Bills choke again, group effort.

Byron fuck off

Denny you absolute fucking clown.

Ah yes, watching the NASCAR on a nice little pro-Nazi station called The CW. Fuck ICE, and fuck The CW for shilling for them.

I quit. Good job Cats. You're were playing the Lions in a Grand Final, not the Bombers on a Thursday. And Stanley shouldn't have been in this game. To be fair, there were a few who were in it who really weren't. Chris Scott is still massively overrated.

"Not in a Grand Final." Go to hell. Not often I agree with BT. #AFL

These umpires... #AFL

I love how Microsoft is consistently unable to detect phishing email from a fake Microsoft sender as it travels through Microsoft Outlook mail servers to users checking mail with a Microsoft Outlook app. Absolute clown show.

And fuck Christopher Bell.

Diffey: I don't know if we've mentioned Ross Chastain... You were literally just talking about him. About the same thing. #NASCAR

Man, that is a hell of a way to get eliminated. The tires you have to use are a fire and safety hazard. #NASCAR

This race is a gonna be a shitshow. Can they actually run out of tires? #NASCAR #Bristol

My predictions for the game: Bad Calls. Cam Rayner flops multiple times and gets a free for every single one of them. #AFL #AFLLionsSuns

Yo CW, fuck you and your "Join ICE" ads. #NASCAR

Almirola with the win and the crowd goes mild.

Oh good, the umpires are on their shit already. #AFL #AFLCrowsHawks

Ok, that was just a stupid amount of hustle from Chol. Impressive. #AFLGiantsHawks #AFL

Expecting big things this quarter. Not correct things, mind you. #AFL #AFLCatsLions

The year is 2045. Aaron Rogers' dream of playing for every NFL team is on hold due to the creation of expansion teams in Manchester and London, as well as new rulings on cybernetic limbs. Colton Herta prepares for his first F1 season with the Mahindra works team. The Leafs are looking for a 14th Cup

Yo CW, fuck you and your "Join ICE" ads. #NASCAR

Newgarden has a podium place! Settle down Buxton, we're at 124 of 250.

That looked like a Larson Special.

"It's the driver, not the car!" [announcer drives best driver's car, wins Daytona] I know, I know, I just think it's funny.

Man, fuck these umpires! They are dirty. #AFL

Good grief, who did Buxton study for commentary, Boomer Berman? "We have THREE. CARS. FIGHTING. FOR. THE. LEAD!" #indycar

Oh happy day!

I love the consistency of NASCAR race control.

Was walking to the bathroom when I heard the tone of the broadcast change. I know Connor fell, but that's it. It's been almost an hour. This is worrying.

Connor: We need to watch Him, we know what he'll do! Hill: [Remembering Connor passed several cars under yellow just to come ram him, them sneak back to his spot.]

2 hours ago we had 32 laps left.

Hill real contrite now that the only thing he has left to lose is playoff berth. Never heard him sound that worried.

Can someone gag this announcer?

Maybe Connor living in fear of the demolition man might be the lesson to make him less likely to accident other cars.

Connor learning the Larson "Did I do that?"

Craftsman Thunderdome: 36 Trucks Enter, 1 Truck Leaves

Umpires in this game need glasses and maybe a better night's sleep. Possibly less psychedelics. This officiating is atrocious. #AFL #AFLCrowsHawks

Say bracket one more time!

The last race to end the day had the best result. Congrats, Bubba.

FUUUUUUUCK THAT WAS STRESSFUL

Okay, the F1 tire test is over. Formula E, Indy, and Cup need to do some CPR here. It's gonna be Nap City if this day doesn't get a little more exciting.

Hot damn we've got some action! Ocon up to 15th!

Thankfully, NASCAR has penalized Hill by saving his team 5 laps worth of gasoline. That'll learn him.

Austin Hill reminding everyone that he's a POS.

I'm okay with the rain ending this right here. I'm tired of watching "who's gonna push Kyle and help him steal all our lunch money."

Dan Ticktum tries the same move on back to back laps, first against another car, then against a wall.

The Ohio State Fair has announced that the annual butter cow sculpture will in fact be an elephant, laden with bags of cash, ridden by Mike DeWine, it's front right leg extended in salute, while trampling an evil immigrant child.

Frodo: I shall need help getting the ring to Mt. Doom! Santino: You'll have my hand! Scotty: And my pit crew! Racetrack: And my wall! Fox: And my commercial break! Joseph: And my luck! Will Power: And my WTF, REALLY? . 40 laps to go. #IndyCar #TorontoGP