But if your world should fall apart

My whole life I always knew what I wanted to be, retired.

If I could time travel I’d go to 1965 to try Quaaludes

Snow storm is very rude

the universe will be like here’s everything u want but u can’t actually have it lmao

For Valentine’s Day I want a guy in a crop top who can (and will) fight and has a bit of a temper. I also want a long hair with a lethal face card and mommy issues and has to steal toilet paper from his job as a line cook

it would be really nice if I was like even slightly prioritized

when musicians tell me I’m dumb for believing astrology but they believe they need gold plated connectors

“Can we please bring back wearing…” “Let’s normalize” bro just wear and do what you want

Instead of cocaine on a late night out have u ever tried just going home

my sexual awakening was Brendan Frasers hair and Adam Sandler in a crop top

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you finger it

I HATE PROG ROCK SORRY

We mourn our fallen soldiers (community property man gets GF for the winter)

A breeding kink….. in THIS economy?

dear men: if you get the girl to come over I just want you to know she does not want to watch that YouTube video

Elon Musk ruining Twitter was my 9/11

The best part about hardcore shows are the 14 minute sets and every man is scared to talk to me

The meaner I am to men the more they like me 😤

I was in Bunz Trading Zone in 2016, trade war does not scare me

My uber driver on my way home was a woman so I had a sense of relief. She was prob around my age and started chatting w me about how she’s happy to vote in her first election in Canada as a new Canadian. Anyway, she said she wants change and thinks Pollievere has a “sincerity” in his eyes. MAM 😭

Uber driver gets extra tip for the fuckin pedal to the metal through the yellow light he def could have stopped for

Be my valentine

hitler winter 😭😭😭😭 fuck Trump fuck Elon

If u wanna be my lover u gotta: - have a flip phone - be under 5’11 - be 60% jaded

“You’re not like other girls” bruh you are 39 years old stop saying this shit

Dear Hamilton women, you do not have to sleep with Hamilton men. Hope this helps!

The entire federal government should be sued for violating the civil rights act and employment discrimination laws for firing any black person they can get their hands on by calling them all “DEI” hires.

Jk Rowling is literally so ugly lmao bitch aren’t you RICH

so if you're bringing twitter posts here to argue with I'd like to gently remind you that you could be doing literally anything else with this, your one life

Show them no mercy. None.

I am so cool and funny

I was on a date with Luigi Mangione at 6:45am on December 4th in Toronto Ontario

I am a fart sommelier

Call me a hater but yall gotta stop letting influencers who look like this tell you where to go in Toronto or any big city

i dunno man i never see this outrage about decorum when right wingers make jokes about suicide percentages among trans people. you could be fighting the good fight about human dignity in those comments too

No girl that white guy with tribal tattoos who drives a lifted truck and has a stud nose ring is definitely a great guy who is going to treat you right

idk man it sounds like that insurance guy deserved it

I’m done with twitter but my god I miss below deck and real housewives live tweeting

Ordered a large pizza and it’s getting delivered on a bicycle I am so mad lmao

If I don’t get 69 more followers by Friday I am going to steal 420 dollars from your grandma

Follow me on here I need more incentive to be unhinged

This is what bluesky toast has to say about me hehehehhe

Here to drag Polio Pierre until the end of time. 🤣

Born too late for Quaaludes, born too early to become a TikTok star

I’m like the carnian pluvial episode when he comes over

1000% tariffs on matty matheson restaurants

Angela’s (Montreal restaurant) closing has hurt my soul more than I thought it would

I did poop at home sense

Lineup in the home sense washroom?? So we all do our morning poops here or what