Breaking: James Donald David Bowman Hamel dot dot Vance attempts to kill two more people

Well I was talking about a vibrator so I can’t really put that in the living room, not because my dad would be embarrassed, but because the dog would chew on it

It annoys me when people say things like “I’m so annoying, it’s so funny that anyone puts up with me because I’m so super annoying.” You have never, ever in your life, met someone more annoying than me. I drive people fukken bonkers yonkers.

This was drawn on a white background but I really like the way it looks with the black background. It belongs in a dusty gilt frame at your grandma‘s house.

A friend from middle school found these random pictures of me in an old storage box. Neither of us could really figure out what they were doing there, but here’s me when I was 11

Minerals! Everything is quartz!

Spontaneous emission, stimulated emission and pumping sound like something I could severely jerk off to but it just has to do with lasers which I can only moderately jerk off to.

Finch is sleeping with his dick out again

Dear makers of stuff: please do not make your device blink while charging. Love, somebody with autism who has to cover all of their electronics with socks

Generally I don’t like bugs but skippers are kind of cute with their giant eyes

I gotta stop reposting stuff with no commentary, people are going to forget that I’m annoying and not funny

FUCK YOU YOU’LL NEVER GET ME TO LOVE DISNEY WONDER AND WE ALL KNOW THE OURANG MEDAN HAD SOME KIND OF CURSE ON IT

Who the fuck is this? I can’t even share a blanket with someone sleeping in the same bed. I can barely share a bed. I hate sharing a room. Get out of my house

At 16 I did a part time job in a new supermarket. I asked who counts the people. Blank looks. "For the millionth customer prize," I explained. A colleague explained they just pick a photogenic person for a news story. That's when I realised there will never be justice.

D&D Capybaras!

My wife thinks I left my last job for mental health reasons but actually I was fired. A colleague was off sick but had something I needed in their locker. I picked it open using the skills I'd learnt from LockPickingLawyer on YouTube and was caught on CCTV

"And some say the end is near Some say we'll see Armageddon soon I certainly hope we will I sure could use a vacation from this Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit"

i hit a button on my newly invented switchblade broadsword and the whole thing launches out of my hands and disappears over the horizon. i never explained what it was supposed to do so everyone is cheering and going nuts

Not feeling up too much today, here are some plants I drew

Trying to raise enough money to move out of Cowtown. I only have 3 weeks so any help is appreciated! www.gofundme.com/f/help-razz-...

this isn't car and driver but Papa also did work in the record business as a photographer and a... promoter? I think? I'm really tired right now

Seb is getting into photography, and after I got him a point and shoot digital camera to play with, I mentioned that everyone in my immediate family is a photographer to some degree (like, had their work featured in galleries and magazines and stuff. Papa did a bunch of work for Car and Driver).

(this is actually my fall-back postcard design for december in case I'm too tired/stressed/in jail to whip up something else.) ANYWAY, Puppy from "A Crown of Oleander." Revolutionaries fed his sister to starving dogs :) I work on this story whenever I hate my life a lot and want to die.

hangin' out on youtube again

I don't wanna tell you how to do your job, Sam's Dad, I dropped out of college to become a prostitute, but as one of those people who depends on those protections I know and accept it's socialism (which is good and I like it).

this is the kind of shit they send you home with at the food pantry

Loving today's news that the mysterious "fedora man" outside the Louvre heist was actually a 15-year-old museum visitor who dresses like a 1940s French detective all the time, just because. apnews.com/article/louv...

Hi my name is Jack Daniels "Jaydee" Mizutani and I've always been like this, you're welcome Nutrition Facts: I have more diagnoses than dicks and I've got at least five dicks currently so my username can be whatever I want

I don’t know who the fuck this is. I was trying to find information on whether puffins were endangered.

I'm hungry but can't eat, tired but can't sleep. Tried drawing, jacking, watching a movie, working on writing, adding random shit to the Amazon wishlist. Nothing can shift the stress and the depression. I can't even use one of my usual descriptive similes to tell you what it feels like. sigh.

The asmr isn’t fucking working

Life is stupid

Owosso r u ok

stop asking how Rufus survived I TOLD YOU HE JUST DOES, OKAY? HE JUST DOES. Now pay attention to-- LOOK IT'S RULE OF COOL ALRIGHT I KNOW YOU CAN'T LIFT A MOTORCYCLE USING ONLY YOUR THIGHS

I’m GOING to make it work

The red crown and jewelry clashes with his hair but they have to be red it’s *symbolic*

I think Dr. Oz should be eaten alive by crabs but at least he went over, probably for optics but he did *turn.* 47 should also be eaten by crabs but I want him to die of sepsis first

Ooo he pretty, he a pretty boi

Wip

in the dream (I can't remember what the rest of the dream was about honestly): "I learned THAT technique from a little book called, THE HATCHET."

The scream that she scrumpt

Probably more than 20 years ago someone made a post describing how to write Gambit’s accent in fanfic with the example “ah’m so ‘ongry, dat Wolverine et all mah pie.” And now every single time I am hungry, Gambit speaks to me across the ages

That’s fucking bullshit man I cannot fucking believe this fucking website would do that it’s fucking disgusting and heinous almost as disgusting and fucking bullshit as my stupid bitch mom and her Dipshit husband both of whom are whores and cunts send tweet

Food stamps day (the first of two we usually get). We have donated funds to cover a large portion of our grocery bill (thanks guys!) but calling the SNAP balance line and hearing “your balance is, zero, dollars and, zero, cents” is chilling.

News anchor on ironically wears iconic “Clueless” blazer while reporting on horrible tragedy, this writer wonders if 90s nostalgia has gone too far

Is that the name we’re going with?