happy valentines day cuties ;3 💚

Happy valentines everyone 💘 forget the candy this year. I’ve got something sweet for you 🍬 come get a taste? 🌹🩷❤️

Officially one year on t 🎉

i love heated rivalry

My curls got complimented today and it kinda made my day ☺️

The fuzzy socks stay on during sex ‼️

Im not beating the old man allegations

I'm cat sitting and this cat legit terrifies me

You know your sleep schedule is fucked when you text your friend at 8 am and they ask why you're awake

If you sit on the floor of a restaurant there's a special place in hell for you

Survived my first christian wedding and my favorite question was "is the B short for Bartholomew?"

Therapy is expensive. boobs in mouth is free

I did what google says is a 45 minute walk in under 30 minutes. I feel sweaty and accomplished

Tonight at work I thought I'd have a chill night of just food running and now I'm bartending 😭

My coworker (who obviously doesn't know) called me a puppy yesterday and I've never felt more clocked lol

Didn't win the cocktail competition but it was very fun!

The amount of math needed to batch a cocktail is killing me 😭

Im super surprised that the new 'i know what you did last summer' is actually good

We love a work mimosa

The restaurant industry is so goofy cause why does a man about my mom's age have full-on beef with me for no reason lol

I have almost watched every season of drag race at least once!!!

being mutuals with someone is so interesting. we interact every day. i don't know your last name or even necessarily your first. i've seen your penis. i don't know if we're friends.

I have beef with so many people/things today 🙃

My job started doing karaoke and I wanna kms 😭

Me since yesterday lol

I've been doing over 20,000 steps for the past few days and I wanna die 😭

One of the guard members from the gay marching band I'm in put glitter on my face this morning and I still haven't been able to get it all off 😭

I can't believe i got interviewed (on camera) while wearing my "gods favorite transsexual" sweatshirt

I still can't believe we had a 25 top turn into a 100 top at work last night 😭

Why did this lady ask for my name and then decide she was just gonna call me bluey. My name is objectively easier...

*youth pastor sitting in a chair backwards during a fight with his wife* you know who else talked to sex workers?

It feels really weird to be working a morning shift

We found this photo in our archives with no context and are engaging in collective union bargaining until the cat/dog get switched to the other side.

Fuck it, fit you like a glove like puppet 🪄✨

Here's a random reminder that I am, in fact hot

In the US, the bunny is thought to bring treats on Easter, but other countries have had their own Easter animals: - Germany- fox - Switzerland- the cuckoo bird - Australia- the bilby And in Sweden, you might get a visit from Påskkäring, or the Easter Witch. Adorable.

being puppies together >>>>>

I got to meet ken jennings today!!!

I forgot how good of a soundtrack "what's new scooby doo?" had

With all that's going on, the last thing you need is the encyclopedia trying to fool you so we just hope you have a nice day.

I have never gotten so close to just punching a customer than I did today

Finally got a new full-time job!!!