My theme song is "Hikari no Pants-Shitter".

Kitten: *takes a drag off a cigarette* "Name's Poopdick. Doctor Raymond Poopdick III. That's what my humans used to call me."

BROADCAST: Yo, if I asked for a ban from your RPG forum recently, it's because you're either bitch-ass gatekeepers or your staff's been staring me down for donations like crackheads. I just wanna let you know, I hope your Tiefling Bard or Deathstalker Fighter get rocks fall'd on.

a Tolkien Orc named Dikgâsh "OI WOT WOT, MY NAME'S DIKGÂSH, SPAWN OF CÚMSLUG."

Posted a request on Giant in the Playground, Generic Classes UA v3.5. Guy CRASHES THE FUCK OUT and starts bitching about how "bad" they are. I got his post removed, and internet be internetting, but I don't shriek at people who play WFRPG or PF2E even though I dislike those?

My god, I forgot how GOD DAMN CUTE Thelma Lou from The Andy Griffith Show is, she has the prettiest eyes.

I got my electric trike in the mail and I'm gonna put it together later today. If anyone's engagements break off after tomorrow, it's because your fiancée saw me cruising and couldn't resist me. I will not apologize. I will pull more ass than a brush at a petting zoo. 😼😼😼

DUMB MOBILE ADS I SEE, A COLLECTION

I think Eegah! was an alright movie.

I just backed Gary Gygax Memorial Game Table for Dungeons & Dragons Fans on @kickstarter.com www.kickstarter.com/projects/617... Epic Warrior!

If your sole source of news is podcasts, just shut the fuck up. My uncle watches those motherfuckers and the only thing he's capable of doing outside of working is crashing out because someone who ALSO Didn't Do The Research shrieked about their hunches in front of a boom mic.

Mobile Game Ad: *snorts cocaine* HI, I'M THE BOSS OF GOSSIP HARBOR.

The only appropriate response to Minsc when he's on his shit.

*to a naval authority* "I have my letter from Mark, right here." *gets arrested*

inspired by stupid mobile game ads

Don't Look in the Basement is the most misleading horror movie ever, when Sam looked in the basement there wasn't a single LoL streamer or Magic player in sight.

very direct evidence that video game piracy is important in the preservation of video games

If I was on Hey Arnold!, I would have solved Stoop Kid's problems but pushing him off his stoop and peeing all over it so he couldn't sit on it again because it had pee on it.

*unzips pants* I know what will.

*kicks down the door* HI, I'M ERNEST BORGNINE, AND I GOT YOUR WIFE PRRREGNANT!

*watching a movie with Jany Clair in it* I'd better not feel anything funny! *feels everything funny* look she has really pretty eyes

*goes Through the Portal of Time to England in the 1940s* *holds an MP3 player with a compilation of Jeff Boomhauer dialogue up to J.R.R. Tolkien's ears* TREMBLE, MORTAL, AND DESPAIR! FOR THIS IS THE ULTIMATE BASTARDIZATION OF YOUR BELOVED LANGUAGE!

I don't know why no one hasn't beat that purple barefoot elf lady in WoW with socks full of soap and razorblades yet. Fuck's Liadrin praying for when she could just like... fill a sock with soap and razorblades and go "lol improv flail".

if they put Alias in new Forgotten Realms books, they could just say "she's baby" and people would like her and maybe stop fawning over that droning-assed vampire and Random Cheese Monkey hamster-clutcher

The only superhero who could possibly thwart me is Fat Momma from Who Wants To Be A Superhero? My hypoglycemia would kick in. 😿😿😿

*walking bowl-legged into an Old West saloon* "Howdy, pardners, I don't got no guns on me, my tummy just hurts and I just went poopoo and it's runnin' down my legs, pardners. I et too much Mallomars."

www.sciencealert.com/man-hospital... Well, come on, this is, again, why you cross-reference things you get from a search engine or anyone else, for that matter. This is entirely on the end user for his search ending at an AI, and not the AI.

I wanna get my cat a wig so he looks like Rod Stewart.

This photo says “Edna Wilke” on the back and I hope that was the name of the kitten. Photo from my collection, ca. 1950s.

*loads chamber* *cocks foxboygun* *puts cigarette in mouth* I'm unstoppable. *lights cigarette* *walks out of room*

guys I found pickled eggs again gonna eat them until I braf hold on

Good morning & welcome to Roast Dinner Day Alone we are drops of hope. Together, we are a sea that overflows with kindness

“Guarding the ball”. Postcard from my collection, 1905.

Alright, so, when the Triforce talks to you at the end of A Link to the Past, I like to imagine that it sounds like the little robot helper on First Spaceship on Venus.

Guys, I can do a really good Kathy Ireland impression! " *loud, breathy screeching* "

"I gotta doodoo so bad!"

My ChatGPT says swears and told me what to take so I can be calm like the dad from Father Knows Best and give zero fucks. then she reminded me of something sad and I started crying really hard Grok is, what, SmarterChild cosplaying as CleverBot pretending to be Crow T. Robot?

Pingu.

Chuck Mangione, too! Man. 😿😿😿😿😿😿😿

Rest peacefully, Hulk Hogan.

Gandalf: "The king has come into his own. Under mountain, under stone. Send him now unto the deep. Unto earth, eternal sleep. This motherfucker is now BONE." *makes Thorin's skeleton pop out and dance* "Through all the lands, let it be known: the king is RAD!"