“You have no right to touch them. This is the House of God. Step back. We’re just doing our job.” ‼️ “One more step.” ‼️ “Don’t ‘please’ me. This is sacred ground. Everyone’s looking for a fight here.” ‼️

Let’s be honest: We all knew Grenell was this level of stupid.

What “professional” thought this was necessary?

“CBS Evening News: No. 18: We will support our Dear Leader and report on anyone who doesn’t.”

I asked ChatGPT. It recommended Henry James Smith. Henry Jimmy. Rolls off the tongue.

Doctor 1: What should we do? Doctor 2: Keep giving him the “draw me” test. This time the pirate.

Down goes Georgia.

There is a greater than 100 percent chance that he had a heart attack they didn’t tell us about.

Look, when his species is getting ready to molt, they close their eyes.

Trump can unhinge his jaw.

Erika Kirk’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve… oh and Charlie Kirk Memorial.

A spot-on Trump.

Who knew crimes against humanity could produce such wonderful outcomes for Israel?

My kids go outdoors every day. Zero Lyme disease. This guy is fucking stupid.

Buff

Zelenskyy would be completely justified with slapping Trump in the side of the head.

MERRY BOXING DAY TO ALL OF MY HATERS. I PREFER UFC BUT BOXING IS ALSO HUGE. NOT SURE WHY IT DESERVES A DAY. STOP REQUESTING MORE EPSTEIN FILES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

Marble inspired by blue cheese vomit.

NIGHTS OF BLUE SKIES (sound DAY 26 DECEMBER 2O25 GOOD PEOPLE WALK AMONGST US WITHOUT FANFARE THEY JUST DO The atrocities of ICE this year Over 68K thousand people have been detained by ICE AND It is brutality & they are not criminals I Pledge l to do whatever I can to help Join me

“They’re eating the dogs” part 2

The “peace president”

Looks awfully KKK-ish to me.

“Merry Christmas from the war machine. Blessings to all deaths!”

Coooooooooool.

Those joysticks, tho

MERRY CHRISTMAS THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER, BLOBERT

There’s a better use for spanx.

I cannot believe that my book comes out in 2 months!! www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/790561...

The United States committed crimes against humanity. 100% guilty. It’s not even debatable.

The head of Turning Point USA just turned a point.

Nothing is as “on brand” MAGA as this: Russell Brand charged with rape and sexual assault

Got laid off from your white collar job because of AI? No problem. You can get a low paying job that you’ll also lose to AI.

Sure we broke the law, but there’s a pardon in it.

As a veteran of the United States Navy, I am completely disgusted by this blatant lawlessness.

How nice of these Trump mafia goons to give away our tax dollars.

This goober’s “hillbilly” bonafides is about as real as his naturally smokey eyes.

Hope is not lost

Jake Paul finally fought an actual boxer and got his shit handed to him.

We’re living under the grips of the most corrupt president in history, so naturally CNN is spending its morning talking about Bill Clinton.

Slit her throat. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Back to her original job: Bridge Troll.

DOJ releases black boxes.

Gee, I wonder who named it? I guess we’ll never solve this mystery.

“I could improve your lives but I won’t.”

“I was fully clothed the entire time.”

“I am proud to announce the naming of everything good and decent in this country after a serial sexual assaulter, convicted felon to give future generations the impression that Trump built all of it.”

“I’m a monster. What can I do?”

Now ask him who’s got their hands on the penis and testicles cost data.

Things That Matter: The show exclusively for racist uncles everywhere.