How much attention should I pay to my daughter’s wish to go to university but it has to be like Monsters University?

So is EVERY new business a front now? It’s all I’m hearing about.

I’m at Comic Con and I tried to buy something at a stall and my phone wouldn’t work and the lady said “yes it doesn’t recognise your face when you’re in cosplay” but I’m NOT in cosplay 😕

I just remembered the time I told my daughter I was going to clean the pond with a pond bomb and word must have spread as all the local children gathered to watch, thinking there was going to be a massive explosion.

I am SICK AND TIRED of recipes gaslighting us into believing that cauliflower doesn’t need boiling first before doing anything with it.

You know what we just don’t eat enough of anymore? Fritters.

Thanks to Spenser Thomson for the review of my tape ‘Hush, Suzanne’ in the May issue of The Wire. One tape left but more arriving from Finland soon. meclaudius.bandcamp.com/album/hush-s...

The LAST thing I’m questioning about the The White Lotus finale is Lochlan not cleaning the blender.

My ex in-laws.

Apparently I owe Polo a huge apology for daring to offer him pure chicken breast lovingly mashed up with a lick-e-lix for breakfast.

I’m in the market for some secondhand AirPods but what’s the deal hygiene-wise? I don’t see how something that’s been right in someone’s ears can ever be free of their wax.

I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

I’m not feeling the new The White Lotus. I can’t articulate why!

A man’s order in the chippy just now is 5 battered sausages. That’s it.

My friend in the village has had her colours done

I got a Terry’s chocolate mint orange in my stocking and I knew I’d have to be in the mood as I wasn’t sure about it. Tonight was the night and it was delicious. You have to disassociate from the shape to enjoy.

I just can’t get over how you can go to a shelter and get one of these and you can cuddle them while watching Love Island

Just heard a song on the radio and I loved it so I looked it up and it was… Chris Brown 😖😩😫 God.

Went to buy some jeans today as I need some. Came home with a jacket that I definitely DON’T need and have thousands that are almost identical.

Listen back to the mighty Fractal Meat on a Spongy Bone radio show on NTS radio. A track was played from my tape plus many more great tunes! www.nts.live/shows/fracta... meclaudius.bandcamp.com/album/hush-s...

Wow, nice gains. Ill-gotten?

Has anyone else done so badly at a job that you’re scared to get another job?

What happened to those wax wraps for food that were all the rage a few years ago?

Regular coke is the ONLY fizzy drink that doesn’t have sweetener in now so it’s the only drink I can have in my Hunga Busta meal deal. Regular Dr Pepper, Pepsi, Tango, even Rubicon all have sweeteners 😝

The cassettes are here! ‘Hush, Suzanne’ is out now in my Bandcamp page. Available on digital and tape. meclaudius.bandcamp.com/album/hush-s...

I’ve been having a Sunday movie club with my mum and sister since Christmas. Sorry but Notting Hill is brilliant (the first half), Liar Liar is massively problematic and jarring. Enjoyed the bloopers tho.

There’s a Handwritten Sign on the Bin Saying Bin Because Nobody Knew it Was a Bin

Jesus Christ Superstar is balls-out all the way through. A camp King Herod is a highlight. I think I have to change channels now though as I think I know what’s going to happen

Just seen Better Man (the Robbie Williams monkey film) and sobbed for 30% of it but it’s 20% too long so I only sobbed for 10% of it (I know that’s not how maths works really)

Big is such an excellent film.

Oh god no it’s the Frasier episodes with Daphne’s brother 😐

It’s the last Bandcamp Friday of the year! Polo has taken over the socials to say please buy our new album out on Finnish label Artsy Records. Digital now, tapes to pre-order for the new year. artsyrecords.bandcamp.com/album/hush-s...

The frog!!! 😁

I went to IKEA today and I noticed they’d overcharged me for a few items. So I told someone and they said I had to go back around the marketplace and TAKE PHOTOS of the items as that would be the only proof they can accept! Was I being trolled? It took me about 45 minutes.

Any baristas on here? I’ve accidentally become one after being given one hour training. I’m quite stressed about it as I want to do a good job. I’ve already done a busy shift and felt I was winging it. If I ask my boss for more training will they boot me out?

My new album is out on Artsy Records. Digital now, tape to come. A stack of 7” singles are sampled, scratched and needle-dropped (upon). artsyrecords.bandcamp.com/album/hush-s...

2/2 and the absolute incel at the desk said “are you sure you want to go to the Museum of Wrecks it’s really just for people with an interest in marine archaeology” the NERVE!

I’m in Stockholm. I went up to desk at the Vasa Museum and confidently asked for the combo ticket which includes the Museum of Wrecks (of COURSE I want to go to something called the Museum of Wrecks) 1/2

If I had a hotel I’d have a rule that guests can’t come down for breakfast until they have showered and got dressed!!!!

I’m at the hotel bar and I asked what the cocktail of the month is and they said it’s ’the man of your dreams’ Is that a cocktail or did I mis-hear?

I’m at an Esports tournament in Stockholm. I have 2 jumbo lanyards and 3 wristbands.

This time of the day on a Saturday at this time of the year makes me think of Blind Date. God we hated it when they had the golden oldies on.

My new therapist is stupid. When I tell her something she goes “oooooh yes I have a friend who…” It’s not a conversation luv 🙄

*getting attacked by a shark* awww he must smell my shark

The worst thing you can do on Deal or No Deal if you reveal a large red in your box is to start crying and have to be comforted by the other ‘pilgrims’. It’s not about you, it’s not your game.

The ladies love Sweetums

I walked into my new job at the farm with the tag still on my safety boots and the head market gardener greeted me with “off you go and find Peter and he’ll chop that off for you with a machete” 😬

That’s MY village they’re talking about on the news. The one with zero sunshine 💅

I’ve noticed that fashions are changing. To me it seems like the most significant shift in years. Though it may just be the 20mph speed limit means you can look at people more easily.

I’m at my mum and dad’s watching 1957 black and white thriller Rogue’s Yarn and a man just stripped down to his underpants and jumped off a boat and he had a FULL ERECTION.