Gambling ads on CNN now? JFC they have no shame.

I think Grave of the Fireflies needs a live action remake with Ariana Grande.

Why must mushrooms attack us? Is it that we chase mushrooms? With enough of them, we could lay waste to their fields and conquer their lands.

The National Guard members and Marines have carried out exactly one temporary detainment. That’s it. It cost at least $134 million. interc.pt/4e9lMfl

Stop anthropomorphizing the universe.

Bought Gordon Ramsey branded beef Wellington bites from Costco and I want to corner him and tell them they taste like despair took a bunch of sadness laxatives and shat out this trash as an insult to every god in every culture.

What we clearly need is a dating app for ghosts.

Kale is just leaf-shaped despair.

In the same way that Trump should have gone to prison for a wide variety of things after his first admin but didn't, and many people called it that he wouldn't, don't hold out hope for DOGE staff or whatever to wind up in jail. They system doesn't work that way.

Ghosts are real, but they’re only allowed in Louisiana, Ireland, and Japan.

If you've ever said, "It won't be that bad" or "The courts will stop him," just know: this bill makes it so they can't.

Finally found a use for AI: I use it to talk shit about bad movies I’m watching and it gives me hot takes.

Watching Nosferatu and Nicholas Hoult just got assaulted by Gypsy rave choreography.

What’s a hill you’ll die on that sounds completely unserious but you 100% mean it? I’ll go first: Cold pizza is better than hot pizza. It has character. It’s seen things.

I know. Let’s raise taxes and then threaten businesses to not pass on those taxes. That’s called a tax increase for businesses. It’s also being a strongman.

There’s always that one person in the office whose mouth moves faster than their brain and every day you have to chant to yourself, “no, you can’t tell them to shut the fuck up.”

Finally finished Your Lie in April and it mostly just reminded me of what early burnout feels like.

I say this without a hint of sarcasm. The Armageddon DVD commentary is the finest work of Ben Affleck’s career.

LinkedIn seems to be full of career influencers trying to sell you their newsletter. This is the way things should be.

Recently got asked to come up with ideas and to document the ideas I didn’t have. Going forward, if you can’t think of anything, it needs to be documented.

I always see people setting up AI agents for email. Who the hell reads email?

Just throwing it out there that Mein Kampf is banned in Germany…

何が好き？

Just gonna say it: the new Ghost album sounds like Journey.

So I started Indiana Jones and then Oblivion drops… I have to hold off because I know I’ll never complete IJ if I visit Tamriel. I may even miss spring/summer if I visit Tamriel.

I’ve always maintained that Pluto is a planet because Sailor Pluto is there fighting alongside Sailor Moon.

Today's tale of #nerdhorror terror: FATHER: They kidnapped me from outside my apartment. One moment I was unlocking my bike, the next—a hood, hands, a vehicle that smelled like sulfur and old milk. I passed out. I woke up, strapped to a table of cold metal—my wrists burned.

everyone please please please watch Hell Comes to Frogtown bloody-disgusting.com/editorials/3...

I don’t know how Sailor Moon doesn’t fall into a crippling depression.

The closing credits song on Heretic is just too perfect.

Terrifier 3 is even better than 2.

Al Green might be the only person in congress tonight that’s not a little wimp.

Zelensky kicks ass

You don’t call them « the creepy 22yos working for Elon Musk », you call them « Musk’s Creepy Crawly Cronies. »

Father: never let your kids watch South Park and the Simpsons Wife: no, this started when he saw Rex Harrison movies Father: oh yeah, he loved those… Me: fuck you both. My Fair Lady is an amazing film and 3yo me knew that, and HOW DARE YOU for suggesting otherwise

Idea for Hallmark or syfy: Curse of the Christmas Vampire

I’ve known Joe Scarborough since he was a shitty Pensacola lawyer. Watching his ratings drop is amazing. Dude is a piece of work.

Biden finally figured out that nobody gives a shit. Good for him.

Thanksgiving day: that means I watch Mortal Kombat followed by The Two Towers while cooking.

We’re all always six months from this.

Agentrification is coming for us all

Everyone at Fango is heartbroken to learn of the passing of the great Tony Todd. Gone too soon. Rest well, sir. 🖤

Free and fair elections! With bomb threats…

Annual reminder to not build houses on barrier islands.

These ABC moderators are getting stepped on by Donny Boy

Battle Royale!

A glorious night with Powerwolf

Werewolves improve circulation and may lessen diabetes.

I had a nightmare last night that I moved to San Diego. That’s it. That was the nightmare.