There ought to be an app that lets people buy me drinks at local bars. Get on that, someone. #randomthoughts

“You took three fucking bags from me and you can’t hire a boat with lifeboats?” Meyer looked scandalized. “I’m supposed to take out pirate insurance?” “Shut up,” Moira snapped. “How long until we sink?” www.jeffreysomers.co... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

🌌 Nebula Awards Countdown 🏆 If you’re reading eligible short stories, check out “Look for the Helpers” by Dave Walsh, a fan favorite and a story with heart that's free to read at Phano. www.phano.com/articles/loo...

Some terrific stories in here!

These Collapsible Tools Are Perfect for Homes With Limited Storage

Just like how hearing yourself on a recording makes you cringe, I imagine being able to go back in time and observe yourself would lead to immediate suicide by embarrassment. All my past selves were idiots. #randomthoughts

Or so say all the imaginary people who live in my inner universe, which is plagued by smog and werewolves. wwrdeepdives.substac... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

Five Ways Unscrupulous Home Sellers Can Trick You

Y'all need to up your author bribery game ...

Me and the lovely @danettesomers hamming it up at @littlecitybooks for an enthusiastic crowd. You shoulda been there! #FiveFunerals Ruadán Books

I am ready for the challenge of finding millions of dollars of lost drug money in the desert. #randomthoughts

Happy to announce my short story "The Real Claudius Maxwell" has been published by Phano @ammansabet.bsky.social Give it a read and I hope you like it! www.phano.com/articles/the...

Phano 15 is live, and contains my story "Send Down a Hogshead of Whiskey"! Go read it all. Now. I'll wait. https://www.phano.com/ #Writing #WritingWithoutRules #ShortStories

“Get behind me,” I said. “They’re gonna send up the ones they can waste, first. Can’t shoot them all.” I stared at the rafts streaming at us. “Shoot the ones that get past me.” www.jeffreysomers.co... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

An appropriately gloomy day to sneak into @wordbookstores.bsky.social in #JerseyCity to sign some copies of FIVE FUNERALS. #FiveFunerals

Hey #Hoboken! Come on out to @littlecitybooks tonight and tell me how cool FIVE FUNERALS is. www.eventbrite.com/e...

ICYMI: The No Pants Cocktail Hour Episode 91: Author Jeff Somers drinks some Penelope Wheated Whiskey and reads his short story "The Robotic Prostitute Demographic" ... twice. directory.libsyn.com... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

I want to go back to the days when I sincerely believed I was smart. #randomthoughts

It’s got a nifty idea at the core, but what really makes it interesting is that the story only works as well as it does because of its structure: Re-arrange the parts, and the whole thing would fall apart. wwrdeepdives.substac... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

In "Yes, You Get to Do That," @dovelynnwriter.bsky.social explores how vulnerable the process can be engaging a writer's non-English language and culture in contemporary SFF. For those who've struggled to find their voice: 🔗 links.ruadanbooks.com/cooper #WriterSky #AuthorSky #writingcommunity

"Writing novels sure is easy, I thought, and for a long time I actually believed that." Discover the Big Idea behind Jeff Somers' FIVE FUNERALS on John Scalzi's blog, Whatever: 🔗 links.ruadanbooks.com/ffbigidea (Many thanks to @scalzi.com & Athena Scalzi for the feature!) #BookSky #WriterSky

I'm so proud of the essays we've published at Thoughts From the Writer's Desk. Brilliant words by brilliant people, like this essay by @dovelynnwriter.bsky.social.

10 Books for Fans of ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ www.bookbub.com/blog... #AmReading

ICYMI, my novel FIVE FUNERALS was featured over at John Scalzi's Big Idea last week, because I am that important. whatever.scalzi.com/... #FiveFunerals

Come out to Hoboken tomorrow and get a signed copy of FIVE FUNERALS and the chance to see if I’m wearing a wig or not like some looksmaxxer. www.eventbrite.com/e... links.ruadanbooks.co... #horrorbooks #thrillerbooks #tbrpile #JeffSomers #FiveFunerals #RuadanBooks

Made friends with my sleep paralysis demon, he's actually kind of a cool dude. #randomthoughts

“They get on board, they’re gonna strip us clean, slit our throat, and roll us into the ocean once they figure we can’t tell them any thing else. Okay? So *keep them off*.” www.jeffreysomers.co... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

The Best Books About Dragons www.bookbub.com/blog... #AmReading

Frankly, if the kids are drinking less booze, all I can think of is that it leaves more for me. #randomthoughts

Thank to everyone who came to @mysteriousbookshop.com last night to see me read from FIVE FUNERALS! Sorry there was no dancing. Also sorry I am so rumpled, I will do better. #FIveFunerals

“My choices at the time seemed to be stay behind and be murdered by someone who wanted you as an asset, or hitching a ride on my own escape plan. I chose the latter.” He swallowed thickly. “I now regret it.” www.jeffreysomers.co... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

The No Pants Cocktail Hour Episode 91: Author Jeff Somers drinks some Penelope Wheated Whiskey and reads his short story "The Robotic Prostitute Demographic" ... twice. open.spotify.com/epi... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

In a few hours, I’ll be at @themysteriousbookshop in NYC, to promote FIVE FUNERALS. If someone shows up, I have a reading and Q&A prepared. If no one shows up, I will dance as if no one is watching. It's a win-win! 58 Warren Street, 6PM. If you're in the NYC area, stop by! #FiveFunerals

After all the code deletions and other mishaps, you know we're, like, six months out from AI launching nukes, right? #randomthoughts

I also imagine separating Affleck and Damon is often necessary because the longer they’re in the same room the broader and more ludicrous their Boston accents become. wwrdeepdives.substac... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

21 Epic Books to Read If You Love ‘Dune’ www.bookbub.com/blog... #AmReading

TOMORROW: I’ll be at @themysteriousbookshop in NYC, reading from FIVE FUNERALS and generally being fascinating. 6 PM – see y’all there! #FiveFunerals

There's got to be a German word for when you know you've been sucked into a sales funnel but can't seem to disengage from the conversation. #randomthoughts

The Big Idea: Jeff Somers "WHEN I was 14 years old—chubby, prone to wearing tie-dye t-shirts for no known reason, and gifted with inexplicable levels of confidence—I wrote a novel in just under three months."

She stood, offering me a crimped smile. “You’re mine now, Charley. No dying without permission.” www.jeffreysomers.co... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules

Thanks to everyone at Ruadán Books, buy my book, and everyone who showed up to watch me flopsweat on their screen at the FIVE FUNERALS virtual launch! I had a great time, the cat interruption count was a modest 1, and now everyone knows that there is no lamp. #FiveFunerals

In a few hours all the cool people will be online at the FIVE FUNERALS LAUNCH PARTY! Where will you be? links.ruadanbooks.co...

How many cats will interrupt tonight's VIRTUAL LAUNCH OF FIVE FUNERALS? Unknown, but more than one, certainly. 8PM, me, five cats, and host buy my book Register here to see for yourself: links.ruadanbooks.co... #horrorbooks #thrillerbooks #FiveFunerals

Whew, thank goodness I am not living in interesting times. #randomthoughts

The Rip is remarkable in 2026 because of its steady, deep competence, in fact. It’s the sort of story that a good writer dashes off without breaking a sweat, using sturdy plot devices and the sort of misdirection that isn’t showy, but is effective. wwrdeepdives.substac... #WritingWithoutRules

FIVE REASONS TO ATTEND THE FIVE FUNERALS LAUNCH PARTY: 1. Literary cred 2. Opportunity to mock Jeff's fashion sense 3. Stave off intrusive thoughts 4. Hear him read from the book 5. Be threatened with a good time. links.ruadanbooks.co... See y'all there! #horrorbooks #thrillerbooks #FiveFunerals

TOMORROW, Jeff Somers kicks off his author tour with a FIVE FUNERALS LAUNCH PARTY! links.ruadanbooks.co... Hosted by Nick Mamatas, live on Zoom, free to attend. Link also in bio. #reading #thrillerbooks #horror #bookstagram #FiveFunerals

I haven't been this excited for a movie in a long time.

Sometimes I wish I'd normalized wearing wigs when I was young. Wigs look fun. #randomthoughts

The No Pants Cocktail Hour Episode 91: Author Jeff Somers drinks some Penelope Wheated Whiskey and reads his short story "The Robotic Prostitute Demographic" ... twice. open.spotify.com/epi... #Writing #WritingWithoutRules