Well, that's The Madalorian and Grogu done and dusted before 11am

When you realise you could move into a retirement apartment in less than five years 😬

But do I have a princess premier package? 🤔

“Hey mister, what you doing?” “Creating a fine spray of water in the form of very small drops floating in the air"

It's giving off some Croydon Debenhams in the 90s vibes

Today's new phrase of the day has been... Lavender marriages

Man in the mirror

Please note that we do not remove cysts from intimate areas. 🤔🫣

To Londres avec lunettes

A long day finishing off a long week. I had to eat half my emotional support Bounty Bar to make it through the afternoon

I've just learnt about #feralfriday but what about #ferrulefriday? 🤔

I'm sick of having to spot the test 'junk' emails at work that they send to keep us vigilant

Was 1988 the last great year of popular music, he wondered idly 🤷🏼

I'm becoming someone who has to pop a headache tablet to start the day and then bask in sunshine like a lizard to warm up 🦎

Occupado 🫣

The book nook kit we really want

Londonmaxxing

I Londres'd today. Expensed my ticket for the first time ever, now it's £18 at peak time and my normal commute is pennies in the EV

I think I'm ready for my disciplinary thing tomorrow

At least in this economy you can book a next day eye test. Maybe the time has come for varifocals

Another week of hovering stubbornly at 16st 🙃

There's something about the Tuvix character in that episode of Voyager that screams transexual hooker

Fuxk off suggested books to read 😟

Petrol at the place at the end of my road is now up 17p per litre since the kerfuffle in the Middle East started

I logged on to Teams this morning to a load of messages from one of my reports sent at 3am because something has wound him up at work the day before and he couldn't let it go. Frankly I find it self indulgent and it only serves to highlight he hasn't got the emotional intelligence to deal with it

Glad it's not just me that thought Madame Web was shit

I worked from home today and had the windows on vent as I had washing drying. But I let the house get too cold and now I'm frozen and it's taking ages to warm up

One episode of the ANTM documentary is enough for me tonight.

It'll be me, the new Sisu film and the Bradbury-Scott sisters for valentines day evening tonight

"Every inch has a purpose"

Apparently it's Super Balls Sunday. I'm already there

Is it going to rain tomorrow? Why did I even bother looking

When arriving into Clapham Junction from Victoria, platform 13 is always preferable to the long streak of piss that is platform 15 even with the massive step down at the London End

Chicken legged attack drone might sound like another subset of gay gym culture but actually it's far more terrifying

I'm trying to tough it out until the heating comes on at 7pm but I've worked from home today and it's freezing indoors, currently 15.6°C

It's almost that time of year again

Well. They're both going to hell for all that lying

Rachel is so cold I bet she has her period in cubes

Asked the phone to search for "photos of me" and it brings up loads of faces asking which one I am- one of which was Shamima Begum 🙄

Wearing scarlet to a funeral parlour with the open casket of someone you didn't like there. Bold

New piccadilly line train on test at Hammersmith today

My earbuds didn't charge properly in their case so I guess I'm rawdogging the district line this morning

Hunters on the hill... geddit?

When you tread in poo, clean off the poo but all you can smell afterwards is the poo 🙊😬

Marks myself safe from the Mildmay Line ✅️

"I haven't seen this much domestic violence since I watched the first six seasons of Murder, She Wrote"

It's been a long day and this made me laugh

Ever get the feeling that you're being watched? 🧐

A bygone year