I'm really upset about the recent episode of Masterchef - it was Eggs Benedict themed.. I want to try my hand at an Eggs Benedict, but kosher. What should I replace the ham with? And what else could I do to elevate it? O:

I feel more comfortable talking about it here. I lost a cat on Erev Shabbat and I don't know what to do. ;;

just watched my dad spray bleach into my cat's water bowl bc he was trying to clean up something next to it and he got mad at me for catching him 😀

There should be a blocklist for things like that AI Rabbi

I miss you more than anything and I'm glad that in the billions of years this planet's existed, I got to spend a little time with you.

I think it's before the Mikvah bc my headaches have sucked lately

Providing ALT text is a mitzvah, as it is written: ולפני עור לא תתן מכשל "Don't put stumbling blocks before the blind." 🚨Settings > Accessibility > Require alt text before posting 🚨

Always be a mensch

This elderly woman was crying in the parking lot and I couldn't stop to see if she was okay, and it's been on my conscious all day. I feel super bad.

Good job brain

Since it's Jewish American Heritage Month, I think more people should know about Haym Salomon. He was a Jewish man who believed so much in America that he donated the equivalent of 15-20 million dollars to the Continental Army, which proved critical to their victory. He died penniless.

The word “Judeo-Christian” was INVENTED in the mid-19th c. as a way of referring to Jewish converts to Christianity & the attempt to convert Jews to Christianity. To say nothing of the fact that Jews have their own 2000+ years of tradition independent of Christianity.

I miss her so much 🥹

"I asked chatGPT" "I asked Grok" Yeah, well, I consulted the Talmud and the Rabbis said that water left out at night becomes possessed by evil spirits

chicken schnitzel w/ gravy + a savory kugel + green beans w/ turkey bacon :)

Today was a beautiful day and the Shabbat service was nice

The antisemites on Twitter discovered Messianics 🙃

my friend made me in tomodachi life and she was naruto running :)

my sleep paralysis demon at 3 am

Y'know a week prior to the world's first murder, maybe Abel ate Cain's chicken teriyaki he had marked in the fridge for his lunch, and when Cain went to go eat after a hard morning laboring in the fields, Abel just went "hey bro lmao thanks for the chicken" Not that I'm projecting or anything

reject modernity (online r*pe academy), embrace tradition (the Beit Midrash telling a man to die)

A lot of horror is scary because there's no explanation and I think more creatives need to be okay with not explaining everything

Never try to explain to Christians what the actual history and culture and evolution of Jewish philosophy and theology and religious practice was like because people will inevitably lecture & insist that they know better based entirely on second-hand portrayals of Jews in Christian religious texts.

I visited Portland today

For Yom HaShoah, I'm going to reread Night again. The most recent edition was translated by Elie Wiesel's wife and it's his preferred version because of that.

AND HE WILDLY MISUNDERSTANDS THE HEBREW SCRIPTURES FOR EVIL PURPOSES (I literally just gave a sermon about this) www.rabbimarkashergoodman.com/writings/pet...

Latkes: 🚫 Kugel: ✅

Whenever a big opportunity comes up, I always try and run away from it by going "I need a week to mentally prepare first" bc of anxiety This time when I caught myself falling back on this, I told myself "hey this is your brain and I'm denying you vacation days" and I'm shoving myself out there

I got my first ever Kippah 😎

Gonna lose it with all these Messianic YouTube ads

Ever single gentile needs to read each and every one of these. A Jewish woman on Instagram made a post about how matzo is made and why we eat it on Passover. Every reply was violent, vile, and hateful. I need you to understand how even the most innocuous part of Jewish existence is reviled.

I think it's weird to reply with the stupid "they were promised this 3000 years ago" joke to a YouTube short mentioning the only mtg card printed in Hebrew

I may have gone overboard 🥹

The first day of Passover and April 1st falling on the same day this year is really funny "No Pharaoh, we're totally gonna come back, we're not planning to just LEAVE that's preposterous."

Chag Pesach Sameach!!

I really need to remember *not* to read the comment section of any YT videos involving non-Orthodox Rabbis. It can get gross and invalidating in there.

🥹

Not a serious question. The reason to boycott the Harry Potter series is not just because of J.K. Rowling’s heinous views. Any money she makes from the show will be used to terrorize trans people. She has made this abundantly clear. This is not a theoretical.

I bought a copy of The Chumash: The Stone Edition and it comes tomorrow!!

kotone

JD Vance: "I don't think they're aliens, they're demons!" Meanwhile, Jews:

Prepare to block people today. They're already trying to say today's synagogue attack was a false flag.

One of our turkeys died and that made the other turkey we own extremely sad. And I've been basically bawling my eyes about it whenever I've been alone. The turkey lets me pet her now and she didn't let me do that before,,

Once a month I am reminded of how much damage the commandment of honoring your parents has done to the most empathetic people on this planet.

Antisemites: BUT THE SYNAGOGUE HAD THE FBI DO AN ACTIVE SHOOTER DRILL!! FALSE FLAG! It's called the ASAPP and it's a two-hour course any business, school, and place of worship can request. It's not a fucking conspiracy. You can read about it on the FBI's website for yourself. Or be stupid, I guess.

If your shul offers active shooter training, please attend it if you can. Stay safe everybody.

No religion or political ideology will protect you from bigotry. The only thing that protects you from bigotry is your own vigilance. "I can't be prejudiced against X because I believe Y" is not a real thing.

Diaspora Jews cannot influence Israel on the scale you're imagining. It's not like we all have secondary Israeli citizenships; we have as much influence as you do.

I got upset today reading somebody's bad take on the Torah and instead of getting vodka, I got out my commentaries and put them on my desk with a loud THUD and read for an hour. This is much more fun than alcohol.