why do we pull pork but shred chicken? and what should we do about beef?

no take

it turned into winter all of the sudden

the janitor woke me up by knocking on my door this morning. lathspell i name you.. ill news is an ill guest

ordering 6 nuggets but getting 8 makes me feel like gimli asking galadriel for a single strand of hair from her golden head but getting three

if we can't fix the climate we could always just remove it altogether

about me: -itching -checking my emails

i had to check my facebook account because i forgot my own age 🚶‍♂️

james's christ

bluesky moderation restored my post about taking the lives of billionaire techbros. thank you zohran mamdani

yeah i do stand up. i also do sit down, and lay down, and walk around. what's the big deal

the original japanese subs for the lotr movies were exceptionally bad and this one example has me crying

all i want is a 2200 acre property with 37 miles of 1:8 scale railroad on it. is that too much to ask?

wtf is up with seedless grapes?? if they don't make seeds, how do we ever get more?

as president united states, what turkey should i pardon this year?

paul blart mall cop 2 is a beautiful name for a baby girl

happy halloween

mr baby is a beautiful name for a baby girl

who up creating thoughts

fuck yeah. red

i often get asked how i make a long distance relationship work and the simple answer is that we tell each other the consistency of our poops, and that's all there is to it

dad: son, your mother and i are getting a divorce son (hard of hearing): a the horse??? i always wanted one!!

if lies of p is so good why aren't they making a lies of poo?

spending my morning on one of my hobbies: thinking about the love of my life

would you still love me if i was woke

just saw a guy call avocado plants an "infinite avocado glitch"

i have bad news for you all

instead of recycling we should all just have a big pile of trash in our back gardens and when it gets too big you just stomp it down

someone put a fucking locked door on my shortcut

shoutout to bread

fuck all these evil nerds that have 0 understanding of tolkien's works. vote for me president of the united states and i will make it legal to kill them

it sucks how every app just sucks now. i used to love using apps. like that beer drinking app or the lightsaber app

starting to think that music is kinda goated with the sauce

when i'm off the clock my brain stays in the jar & employers are fucked up for thinking i'd put it back in my head without getting paid

this does seem fair to me

big business moves happening on linkedin rn

guy who says "i was only just born" whenever they make a mistake

asking my bus driver if they can stop by the mcdonalds drive-thru

anonymous halloween costume

does it look like they liked my shirt

hello this is your uber eats delivery driver i am waiting outside

bring your kid to work day except it's every day and your kid has to work

excusing myself from a social gathering by saying "i have to go, i'm about to wake up"

just discovered crocodilo bombardino & i am laughing out loud. that guy is awesome 👍

yo soy el jambles y estoy en el aeropuerto

i have been on vacation in belgium for the past week and my conclusion is that it's just the netherlands if it was worse and frencher

eat the pain

your honor, you have beautiful eyes

using my tractor beam to harvest the fields

thank you for being me