spending $600 on a steam deck just to play crusader kings

idea: bass boosted audiobooks

making dinner tonight for my husband and child

there are two types of people in the work group chat

i love me jambles

i will now commence exercising my second amendment right [pulls out a potato gun]

setting up a suggestion box for myself only

i could have single-handedly defeated defeated the mongols but unfortunately i wasn’t alive back then

*reaches for u*

space center toy camera shots

i’m gonna steal a rocket at the houston space center today does anybody else want anything

your parents. doing parents things. while you are crying because we sold your ipad on craigslist so we could afford more cats and wine

out on da town

valentine’s day came early

exclaiming “my goodness!” at the most mundane things

practicing exposure therapy by setting the volume to odd numbers only

:P

who up waxing they crescent rn

who up waxing they crescent rn

coworker straight up asked me if they could have one of my glucose tablets just now and i was like “uhhh, this isn’t candy” and they just go “oh” and walked off ????

don’t argue with me because I WILL lose

i work in the legal industry and here is an amazing example of how attorneys will argue with each other like spoiled children LMAO

when famous people die the first thing i google is their name followed by “controversy” just to see if i should feel bad or not

the cats are stealing jambles away from me!

jambles and i being really confused over the first page of instructions of a board game only to realize our confusion is answered in the following pages

whenever you get so excited you gotta stand on your bed in full shoes because your bf is an hour away

i’m doxxing jambles hahahahaha look where they’re at rn

god 99% of journalists are absolute cowards

what i’m taking into battle

JAMBLES FRIDAY JAMBLES FRIDAY JAMBLES FRIDAY

if nobody got me i know Glucose Tablets that Contain 15 grams of Fast-Acting Carbohydrates per Serving got me

people who blanket support capital punishment can gtfo out of my life

if i ever die unexpectedly please don’t talk about me as someone kindhearted who lights up rooms make sure they know i’m a rotten little gremlin

i drew antenna dog with a neck oh no what have i done

just realized i hadn't ever told my mom how to pronounce my partner's name so i text her and she just responds "okay cool"

whenever you think of me i hope it's the biblically accurate version of me

jambles here in a week :)

god dangit i forgot to eat black eyed peas

SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TRYING TO BREAKDANCE RIGHT NOW

the moment i hear "i get it, 99% of people are gonna scroll past this video" when i'm browsing why yes, i do not mind being in the 99% and why yes, i did indeed scroll past

imagine being named ebenezer and being okay with it like you are walking around having to tell people “nice to meet you my name is ebenezer” don’t be okay with that

yelling I WANT UPPIES at everyone i meet not because i’m weird but just because i’m lazy

i always succeed at my new years resolution because i never make one :)

staring in the mirror and practicing my best growling face

men fear me fish fear me i fear me

YOU ARE TAKING PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE

[crying, sobbing, throwing up even] you don't find me funny? does it look like i really fucking care?

i need an adderall and a way to call god’s personal cellphone number

saw the most breathtaking sunrise on the way to work and started tearing up and all i could wonder was if everyone else was seeing it too or if they were just too numb from their daily commute

i drive the correct way (one hand on the steering wheel at 7 o’clock, right elbow propped up on the middle console)