The vibes today are… a particularly asinine exchange of preconceived views disguised as original thought.

Bounce houses, you say?

The vibes today are… chonktastic.

So, I just checked and Arsenal are still Premier League Champions.

The drums on this live version really walloped me. Moon sounds *almost* like a toddler rapid fire banging everything in sight, and yet, it works! Phenomenally so. What a mad talent that man was.

On the grass below, the dogs taking their first sniffs of the morn. Above me, a low rumbling in the japonica tree. The bright orange fingers of honeysuckle have finally opened and a small army of bumblebees are gathering sweetness for a new day.

The vibes today are… [still]

I get it, the interminable NBC wait for the trophy lift is meant to symbolize the 22 year wait for an Arsenal league title. Well played, I guess.

TBH if NBC keeps me watching ads for 60 minutes in hopes of seeing an Arsenal trophy lift, I’m gonna have a grudging respect for the grift.

NBC the Spurs of American sports broadcast? Discuss.

VAR FC strikes again! 🤣

Watching an Arsenal game with a resting heart rate of 58. What is this world?!

The vibes today are…

Titanic Completes Mostly Successful Maiden Voyage

In line with a bunch of other men at the bank and I’m realizing that even with millions of years of evolution, we still don’t know what to do with our arms while standing still.

Those who fail to learn from the history of getting screwed over by the center right are doomed to be screwed over again. Hello, Gavin Newsom, Buttigieg, etc.

The vibes today are…popping and locking like it's 1985.

My neighborhood is so wild, we’ve got hermaphrodites fornicating on the sidewalks!

Look, I don't mean to be provocative or controversial with my next statement, but I frickin' love carrots!

The vibes today are... [yes, still.]

Sexy Headline Poetry The weirdest thing about stripping naked with 5,500 people? It didn’t feel weird at all My one-night stands mean my partner refuses to marry me The sex is so good I walk around with a ridiculous smile on my face A firework exploded my groin

The vibes today are a pleasure to have in class.

The vibes today are...

Stay second, eh

Me, remembering that Arsenal still have a Champions League final to play.

That's Club Legend Mikel Arteta to you!

The Bournemouth-Man City match ranks as one of the best Arsenal games I’ve watched all season!

The next several hours is just going to be me hitting replay on this!

Stay humble.

It is now!

Today Me: Dare to dream, kids. Arsenal and the Seahawks champions in the same season. I am on cloud 9.

I. Am. Quite. Pleased.

I’m old enough to remember when Arsenal last won the Premier League…And now I feel young again!

I know it finished 1-1 but that’s still one-nil to The Arsenal in my book.

No one can whine on about an issue quite like Lee Dixon. Like everybody’s least favorite uncle complaining about airline food. He’ll still be talking about those offside calls next week

🤣

This will be my background music for the next 90 minutes. No particular reason.

[Wife cuts me off mid-rant] Her: I’ve heard this rant before. Me (tears of frustration welling in eyes): But you haven’t heard it today!

I feel like bass guitarists are on average the tallest musicians in the band, at least in a rock/indie rock genre. I would like an academic to investigate this thoroughly so that I can confirm my hunch.

The vibes today are… riding with the ghost, doing whatever they’re told.

Headline poetry From COVID times: How Marie Kondo Declutters During a Pandemic Is Now a Good or Terrible Time to Buy a Home? Wondering About Social Distancing? Arnold Schwarzenegger and his tiny horses urge people to stay home

I am the Swiss in the Oxford comma debate. Neutral af. I am a dog. I have no bone on the floor of this disagreement. Sometimes, I Oxford. Sometimes, I don’t. I contain motherflippin' multitudes.

The vibes today are… coming back with their dinosaur act.

The vibes today are... just puttering around in the workshop like everybody's favorite grandpa.

Most unnecessary personalized license plate in Washington: a Tesla with “DATAGUY”. No kidding? I thought you’d be a frickin’ ballerina or the poet laureate.

On the left is an Onion headline from March. On the right is Reuters, today.

The vibes today are… bojangly and dangly.

More headline poetry ripped straight from the headlines: If anything worthwhile ever came out of a FOX affiliate The oldest written record of "fuck" has been discovered Jogger Discovers Last Two Horny People on Earth Are Face Masks the New Condoms?

The vibes today are… chonkalonky like a donkey.