Half the reel instagram gives me are monologues from Andor and I eat them up every time

Now that I’m a big name in pigeon rescue facebook I’m going to start throwing out a few “do you know who I am?”s a week x

Obviously was for all the big Dr Who fans but it’s not massively surprising after the recent downtrend in quality of writing (actors and I’m sure the rest of the team were fab and had to work with what they were unfortunately given)

I think the song Status Quo from HSM did irreversible damage to the psyche of many people and only set out to bolster right wing types of thought. In this essay I will…

Imagine going to the Monaco Grand Prix and having to park your yacht outside of the harbour. I’d kill myself

RTD vs Ending something well. A battle he has yet to win I fear Let’s let some other queers make stuff and stop funding his twink-based projects

Took a gander at the A Level maths paper they’re all moaning about and I think they need to get real. Nothing that extraordinary or difficult on there

I now have 13 books acting as support holding my bed together, it’s never been comfier

The wig stays ON during

Ran a 6 minute bronco yesterday and let me tell you I am FEELING it today

New version of Colopy jsut dropped @keiranjack.bsky.social

Jsut took an hour out of my life to rescue an injured pigeon. I better receive good karma this week

Pulling a pro move by selling my car instead of letting it fail its MOT

Wild concept that a 13-hour bender would leave me exhausted, I thought I was stronger than this

Cruz at 0300 is certainly a place

Hacks is one of those rare few shows that sticks the landing with the final episode

Heinous things happening in the gym today

I love making salads, you can jsut fuck anything into a bowl and make anything into vinaigrette and it always tastes fab

They don’t want you to know the dark truth behind Direct Debit and the true plight of one Ms Debora (Debi) T

Meanwhile next door

Eternally grateful the building overhangs slightly over my bedroom which means it doesn’t heat up and has remained delightfully cool.

I hate summer because my horribly straight downstairs neighbours constantly blast the most awful DnB you’ve ever heard on their terrace, which is right below my bedroom

Metrolink not having aircon has to be some kind of modern torture method

Pint in the sun in the garden outside the country pub I’m staying in after my mate’s wedding this evening. Life is good

Jsut been invited for a lovely day out at the Lake Laogai Waterboarding Centre. Normally heard it called wakeboarding but I’m no watersports expert xx

I jsut think everyone involved in that EHRC guidance should be shot into space tbh

Had a small lay down during work and woke up 90 minutes later, I’m so cooked

Pie: made Flapjack: made Dinner: nowhere to be seen

I have achieved levels of arm pump I could never previously assume to reach

i'll always remember where i was when i heard that Wes Streeting had resigned as health secretary in order to challenge Keir Starmer for the leadership: i was at home, checking the news to see if Wes Streeting had resigned as health secretary in order to challenge Keir Starmer for the leadership

SLC repayments this month: £181 SLC interest this month: £183 I literally cannot win

Never let it be said that I’m not a supportive partner

I just need to get slender so I can swan through the opposing rugby teams like a dancer

Scheming eunuchs in the imperial court of China after their plans being foiled again:

The leg press weight doesn’t go high enough so I’ve had to swap to doing one leg at a time. Need to join a real gym when I move bc these in-building ones don’t cut it anymore

Perfect opportunity to bring back this photo of me and my 5’7” beloved

RIP Keith Starburst, you were a shit leader x

Yeah I voted Green, how did you know?

I say let that cruise ship dock, Covid Summer 2 here we come

He lovingly described me as Neolithic looking and then stuck a wet finger in my ear within the space of 5 minutes btw

There’s a monk at the Pizza Hut buffet???

Went up Mam Tor with pals

What is up with the obsession of women aged 50-65 opting to wear the most pungent floral perfumes that set off my allergies. There’s definitely some social faux pas in entering a tiny space like the tram and generating a chewable cloud of thick, flower scented air.

Jsut realised the apple magic pen thing has fucked up my watch from being overzealous where I edited out my nipples for being too perky

This is the most consistent period of exercise I’ve ever had and it’s working. Weight has gone up but it’s all muscle gain, so scales are a little scary but I’m okay with it.

Who’d have thought having (formerly) very Tory parents would result in massively left-leaning kids?

I had one needle left and I dropped it by accident ( it in my foot this time) so no testosterone for me today. I can feel myself deflating :(

6 but maybe I’ll bring it to a 5 for summer

Ancient Dragon Lannseax you will never be famous

party 4 u playing in Gong Cha, very queer Sunday for me