I can’t stop playing Ball X Pit

Look how offended they are when you take their picture.

I love the MLB app because you can go “oh when does the game start today” at like 9AM and that piece of shit will already be set to “warm-up” instead of displaying the 7PM start time.

I got down a family history rabbit hole a couple years back and found this piece of family history, that is absolutely crazy. I feel insufficient.

Jon Smoltz loves turkey. Still hates baseball.

Quit fucking comparing the Mariners to the Yankees you stupid fucks.

Baseball is and always will be my first love and that will never change. This was my office today while we played to a 4-0 win

There are Mariners fans who have been waiting their literal entire lives for this and I’m so happy for them and so happy to be a part of it. I still remember being in front of the old CRT with my family before we crashed and burned (in 2001 nonetheless) collectively losing our minds on the double.

Oh my god what a bad brain fart

@die-hardman.com I know it’s very privileged to feel these feelings, but boy I am not ready for the emotions of that game 5 tomorrow.

I am baseball

I am once again asking the Seattle Mariners to win an ALDS game with me in attendance tomorrow.

Weird that this doesn’t seem too bad at all… almost a welcoming timeline.

@die-hardman.com hello fellow West Division Champ. Lovely day for a meaningful baseball game

how can you not be romantic about baseball?

Here’s a nice reminder of North Idaho from 2021, in case people forgot about what a joke it is.

The look of an asshole who just got in trouble for bullying her little brother

*A white Christian nationalist is murdered by a white Christian nationalist who hates him because he does not go far enough with his white Christian nationalism* The thing that caused this is liberal universities

Today’s top story: Monkey Paw Wishes and Etsy Witch Curses - when the occult pushes back

Etsy witches were fun and exciting just several hours ago. Now they’re fucking terrifying.

Oh okay.

@arivelazquez.com This screenshot is from Feb of 22. Still true.

I’ve never seen a more perfect representation of how my dumb ass ADHD riddled brain works. Look a Dr Pepper machine no shit lol it’s a secret door. Thinking I remembered what I studied for this for behind this door? Nah bro it’s just blockbuster? Remember blockbuster? You do now because it’s allll y

Was sending a quick email before going to our room where the kids/other cat are watching a movie for quiet time. Obviously not going to happen now

In political news today

Is there a name for the phenomena that is where Mac N cheese always tastes better when it’s made by someone else and it is impossible for yourself to replicate? Because if there isn’t there needs to be. I bet there’s a German word for it like shalrgenmacenbadden

Hey Siri play more human than human by White Zombie

Literally every professional sport that has allowed gambling to become intertwined with their product when an investigation turns up their players fixing/shaving/etc:

Having a great morning and want to ruin it? Presenting NYTs puzzle game “Connections” that will fill that exact niche. Hold on to it for a break in any pleasant setting to immediately make you want to scream “WHAT????”

@die-hardman.com happy birthday die-hardman

Yo it’s kind of weird all this Epstein shit we knew about Trump is (finally) sticking now. Especially after Trump has changed his tune on providing Ukraine with weaponry in the war with Russia and after the whole attacks on Iranian nuclear facilities. Just really curious is all I’m saying.

Spy vs Spy but it’s just the mythbusters guys trying to kill each other

Love that Cal Raleigh is getting shared with baseball fans everywhere and loved like he he should. Dude hit the home run that broke the playoff drought, and if that wasn’t enough called out ownership for not spending after another dismal finish. His 2025 first half is how we view him every game.

Me to kid 1: why does your ramen taste like pickles? Kid 1: because there was pickles in it Me: oh

Dumper

Is there a more disrespected championship team than the 2005 Chicago White Sox?

Anyone know of an abyss to scream into? Asking for a friend.

My 4 year old to my 6 year old tonight: “when we’re grownups we can pick the toppings on our pizzas.” (I reminded them they already can)

I thought this guy was really good as Nandor’s cousin who also got turned into a vampire on one of the late seasons of What We Do in the Shadows.

Whoa, my guy, stop setting such unrealistic expectations for the rest of us.

John Smoltz during color: “I hate baseball yet I’m here doing it for some reason.” Adam Wainwright: “Here’s my list of stadiums with streaker problems.”

This is an absurd fucking stat

I have a new hat!

Did yall know Uncle Rico was Ben Linus’ dad???

How are the white Sox already on an eight game losing streak. The season started like yesterday.

Switch 2 pricing makes sense if you ask me. Nintendo has to pay for those massive Nintendo switch 2 patches on the Mariners jerseys somehow 🤷‍♂️.

If anyone’s curious about what Idaho is up to: you can get cited for a misdemeanor having Truck Nuts on your vehicle. If you get cited again a second time within five years, it’s a felony. Yes you can be a felon in the state of Idaho because you have balls hanging off your truck.

This is the most jarring post of all time. I am really that high or is this real?