Your favorite pitchers favorite pitcher

Dunkin giving $1 per coffee to donation instead of a free coffee on national coffee day probably as a tax write off is giving all stars 9

do NOT buy the tj maxx pre rolls

If you do not play macarthur park at a HOUSE MUSIC party the party needs to be disbanded

one of those Nights™️

they’re saying it’s the worst Memorial Day weekend in 78 years 😭

I have 95 metrocards 😃

yea

the other week at kickball I managed to kick absurdly high and fouled over the 20-foot fence onto 11th Av and hit a bunch of cars and the first thing I said was “it’s still fuck cars”

angel numbers down in hell

survivor 51 and it’s just being in New York City the last 4 days

And if I took my amoxicillin tonight with a glass of wine….

don’t forget to breathe and untwist your jockstrap

two illegally parked cars exploded in front of government buildings with strong public unions yesterday hm

This is the most deranged thing I’ve ever been sent

opening up sniffies in front of the New York Stock Exchange yk for economic sex tourism

hochul does not need long island. She does not care that the Rail Road™️ is striking

some of these takes on this strike are making my head explode

vivacious performing at the function 😭

any chance you wanna sub on my kickball team for our 1-1:45 game 😃

reports of a kid subway surfing on a J train over the Williamsburg bridge and he fell into the water. I will never understand the desire to play with life in such remarkably moronic ways. Truly is distressing

I forgot how horrible of an edit drag race gave Ben delacreme

Kacey Lee Musgraves you’ll never get a skip out of me

well… get to work!!!

all the spirit airplanes are just lined up on the side of the jersey turnpike like 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍

Wendy Williams you would’ve loved hannahvirus

humanity started going backwards when drivers

New York having a fun mayor is so confusing I can’t process this where’s the CORRUPTION??? THE MAFIA??? Kinda miss it idk

Connor and Hudson went to the gala dressed like YouTubers

my yearly vacation hours just dropped into my timekeeping 😃😃😃😃

I just realized Atlantic City Airport is closed until breeze and allegiant take over defunct spirit routes

yeah the spirit shutdown would’ve been an easy grab at Warren if it wasn’t literally the oil costs skyrocketing daily

ESPRESSO MARTINI 🤎

I feel like “The Devil Still Wears Prada” was a missed opportunity for the second film

1 follows me, 1 I’m meeting tomorrow, and 1 I met at the boxers HK rooftop lmao

I can’t believe how fast asparagus acid travels through the body

to the 3 bros in the sauna that were • complaining that the sauna is a “sausage fest” (hmmm) • complaining that too many people use this (the largest and most central) gym for this chain • complaining that girls are too picky then shaming them for wearing make up it’s time to cancel your membership

even Facebook doesn’t believe last nights “events” lmao

again….?

mozzarella sticks

well

drinking a lot of something called “bayou banger” and took a hit of weed and everyone’s making me ravenous

why is every day national sons day on Facebook

I am determined to slut it out tonight

I started lifting again btw

happy furry frot friday

99 bottles of COCK on the wall

I am being transported to a simpler time