A Tuesday masquerading as a Monday, also known as The Bastard's Tuesday.

Bar full of haters can’t handle my shit

TOTTENHAM MOTHERFUCKING HOTSPUR

Congrats to Tottenham for staying up. Now to celebrate by firing every single front office executive overseeing this abomination of a season.

Mr. Magoo FC www.expectinggoals.com/p/is-hull-ci...

Just learned the creator of the Apple TV horror/comedy show Widow's Bay is also the author of this HoF tweet and honestly it could not be a better match

I regret to inform the refs are once again back on their bullshit

Gonna go fight a horse in honor of Newcastle United

*George Lucas taking a giant bong rip* "Hear me out, what if the Viet Cong were fucking adorable."

More like VARsenal, amirite?

To only be down one point after that start to the game feels like a Timberwolves miracle

A gentleman's bombing.

One of my most Old Man Opinions is that there are too many specialty pieces in modern Lego sets. They're not supposed to actually resemble the thing that inspired the set, they're supposed to look like blocky pieces of shit.

Tired: "Don't Be Evil." Wired: "Don't, Be Evil!" www.thatprivacyguy.com/blog/chrome-...

Victor Wembanyama is an NBA 2K create-a-player with all the sliders maxed out. Breaking Madden ass player.

Toronto is further south than Minneapolis so a really good bit would be moving there and refer to myself as a snowbird www.pbs.org/newshour/wor...

R2-D2 is the protagonist of the first 6 movies.

To Dare Is To Do* *Fight tooth and nail to barely avoid relegation

Starting a country band called Daft Podunk.

Not filled with hope by that performance, but still technically alive.

For about a minute we were back out of the relegation zone and it felt nice.

Alright you losers, time to win.

The Tottenham management this year can best be summer up by letting a player try and run off an ACL injury.

See you all in the Championship.

Bissouma slipped into a two-footed tackle, so obviously it can't be red.

Good performance, bad result, and we have no wiggle room

Feels bad, man

Time wasting (complimentary)

oh man. iranian state media reporting that the strait of hormuz is open, but only to those who can answer the blind old man’s riddles three. not a long term solution, to say the least.

If your friend on Facebook posted AI images of himself as the Messiah, you might phone his family and ask if he's doing OK.

I still don't think most neutral Premier League fans and pundits appreciate just how massive of a botch job this season has been for Tottenham. It's basically the inverse Leicester City title season in terms of odds of squandering the financial resources we've spent and still getting relegated.

Tottenham fans watching Johan Lange not only remain employed at the club, but continue making manager hires and plan the summer transfer window. youtube.com/shorts/dmohs...

Final day of the season should be Tottenham fans Wickermaning Lange in the center pitch after we officially go down

They should try to make a smartphone without horrors inside of it.

I said as much on Jan 6, 2021, but the most cynical, pessimistic predictions from when he was first elected in 2016 have pretty much all come true, if not undersold the reality.

But shall this crazed old man be tamely suffered to drag a whole ship’s company down to doom with him?

Gorilla channel intermission

Hell yeah, pasta sauce jenga

Tudor setting up in the 4-4-2 was the right call but then at halftime he changed to make everything worse because we let in a stupid corner unrelated to the formation

The Art of the Deal

Could be the epitaph for Trump's entire political career

And who said it was all bad news on the Tottenham front? www.theguardian.com/football/202...

"Slurs filled a chat" pushing new boundaries in passive voice construction

Torn between wanting to make most of Tottenham's players stick around and play in the Championship when we get relegated, but also legitimately concerned they aren't good enough to get us promoted from there either.

Tuning into another episode of who is worse: English referees or Tottenham Hotspur? Neck-and-neck yet again

The key to being cool is understanding what to do with your hands. It's why Weezer had to pioneer nerd rock, they had no other choice.

Our manager hasn't been seen drinking out of a cup with Arsenal's crest on it, so you could say we're showing progress.