if you're not picking up a quart of hot and sour soup and some dumplings for me, you're picking up a quart of hot and sour soup and some dumplings against me

second pair of glasses acquired, marked safe from any twilight zone type event that may occur in the future

i found him. i found the savage detective

did you know you can re-melt mirror glaze back to perfection with the application of a little heat? give it a try by equipping the torch in the ITEMS menu, then pressing (A) to turn it on

life is challenging sometimes

the time for me having crushes has concluded. it is once again time for crushes to be had on me

my laundromat guy just said very seriously "i want to show you something" and then pulled this out

2025 is gonna be my year

well, as you all might have imagined it's hitting that point in the summer where i become obsessed with finding houdini's grave yet again

i wrote about the past, and how it sort of turns into the future eventually. and about food, it's also about food open.substack.com/pub/helldoe/...

*nodding like i understand what this means* ohhhh. ok!

Aug 10th 1988 - Zero Cool was in the New York Times for crashing 1,507 computer systems. 📽️📅 Hackers (1995)

at the vintage burlesque exhibit

you can't believe how much i love when the sunlight is dappling

waking up to lay around and read my book. like they used to do in the middle ages. well i guess that isn't true, really

makes me laugh every time. what a world

when a guy has a lot of tattoos it's not that impressive. like, i can do that too

girls when they remember to recontextualize this entire year through a lens of deep grief

the ATM at my cash-only dumpling place was down (par for the course) so i walked until i found a working ATM and also this cat. i will guard both with my life

was le gromp there

so now all of a sudden i have to apologize for saying you put your whole pussy into family meal

reading the savage detectives. that might be the horniest book of all time, huh

walked by a guy and his girlfriend with this and he said "sprinkles do nothing for me." and well that certainly can't be true because here you are commenting on mine

on which date is it appropriate to let them know that you're terminally obsessed with the monster mash

proof of life

the other night i saw paris, texas for the first time in its entirety on a tiny dive bar tv screen. which is, as far as i can tell, how it was meant to be watched

i react to having a crush the same way everyone else does: i suddenly feel the need to hide all signs of my deep mental illness while simultaneously exhibiting the worst symptoms of mental illness i've ever experienced in my life

how it feels to bring your stinky little goat cheese onto the train during rush hour

have listened to the national for at least 5 hours today. trying to figure out if i am going through it

it's 2025 and time to start getting excited about falling into an open stairwell hatch

didn't buy tickets to any night of metrograph playing THE RETURN even though i coulda bagged a weirdo baddie

key lime pie with graham cracker crust / orange creamsicle pie with saltine crust

95°F on july 28? time to listen to the monster mash

I do NOT know where the shard of glass came from and I only put NIN on PAUSE so I could read my own BEAUTIFUL PROSE in my DRAFTS FOLDER

i made shrimp and grits with @bromethazine.bsky.social and his immediate reaction was to turn off nine inch nails and try to poison me with glass in the bottom of my wine glass. anyway i garnished this with fried thyme and crushed up potato chips

who wore it better

this and james hurley caterwauling "just you and i"

how it feels to come in and do a really intense bake off while listening to the prodigy

if anyone knows the percentage of which website i should be posting on for the right amount of brain damage but not too much brain damage just let me know

blue velvet on at the dive bar in my neighborhood that plays boy harsher and only serves chili dogs

i wrote about my favorite thing, jacking off: open.substack.com/pub/helldoe/...

and one peony left over for sadie :)

birthday cake with funfetti frosting, sprinkles, and really cute peonies from the florist

an incredibly mid slice of pizza can be so healing

chocolate chunk tahini cookies on chocolate chunk tahini cookies

'self esteem' by the offspring and 'use me' by bill withers. thematically the same song

i'm telling him that to live is to suffer but to survive is to find meaning in the suffering

how much time do you have

nuts. dusty ray is over on this site?? might have to come over more often after all

men in converse. they'll never be for me