Wow!! I just found out I won Best Comedy Screenplay at this year's Page Awards. 🙂 Super psyched! #scriptsky #pageawards

Super psyched and thankful to the Page Awards for making my action comedy Speed Dating a 2025 Finalist. #scriptsky

Why is no one talking about the bigger crime of paying to see Coldplay?

Schumer caves more than a Thai boys soccer team

The Onion needs to start looking for a job.

Heads up, Department of Iversityday, Quityeay and Clusioninay

Only 1,461 days to go

I have zero interest in his new book My Kampf

all art is made from spite or horniness, and a computer cannot be spiteful or horny, so a computer should never make art

LA friends, if you’ve lost your home, I’m so sorry. In case it helps, here’s some stuff I wish I’d known: 1. Make detailed contemporaneous notes about every conversation you have with your insurance company.

Actual email subject line today from the Tone Deaf Dept at Stage 32: Do Not Lose The Fire In Your Voice In 2025 #scriptsky

Seeing the outpouring of support for those impacted by the LA fires is heartwarming and restoring a little bit of my faith in humanity. We're on the edge of the Palisades fire but thankfully unaffected so far, other than the smoke which has caused some apocalyptic sunsets.

Per KTLA.com Help for 1st responders and displaced residents • Joe's Pizza - Free pizza • Norms - Free meals for first responders and firefighters from Jan. 9-12. • Sizzler locations in Van Nuys, Los Feliz, Palmdale and Fox Hills - Free meals for first responders and evacuees

For SoCal friends, Here is a list of resources for shelter, animal boarding, free items, and distribution hubs. These places can also use donations (e.g., food, water, masks, and blankets). Please consider donating if you can. For more info, visit Instagram: mutualaidla

A knife that's just been used to slice bread can go back in the drawer. Bread doesn't count.

Thou shalt not promise lower grocery prices and then deliver war against Panama, Canada, and Greenland.

Venice Beach sunset with smoke from the Palisades fire

A original Picasshole

Luke Littler, 17-year old dart champion, looks old enough to hang outside the liquor store and ask himself to buy alcohol for himself

Currently writing a dork comedy

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah from our tree to yours!

People calling Jeff Bezos elitist scum for spending $600 million on his wedding need to remember it's not just for oligarchs, he also invited 400 worker robots

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume? Obi-wan Kenobi: "there is no gap in my resume."

Haven't been down to the beach in a while. Still pretty sandy. #beachsky

Hi, yes, I would like to return this timeline.

$500 to laser resurface my cat is outrageous.

Other than why Jersey, kind of feel like this is exactly what an alien invasion would look like.

A government of the billionaires, by the billionaires and for the billionaires

Has anyone considered that the UFO drones could simply be part of an elaborate gender reveal party?

People of BlueSky: Let's get to know each other better! What is one of your favorite movies? Quote share your answer only in GIF form:

Today was leg day, tomorrow is wing day

youtu.be/emsEsswJRQw?... The bass part of Add It Up (starts at :42) is ridiculous

Copy/Paste, but change what Santa is holding. 🎅🏼 |{I}\_🍄 I/ \ /_ \_

Turns out the travel toothpaste tube and antibiotic ointment tube are almost exactly the same size and shape.

"Some corporate security veterans vented that they are seen as a cost center whose leaders are 'buried too deeply in an organization to be listened to'." Is this irony or karma?

Turns out the McRib is mostly McFemur

Your script has 25 Country Hits. Congratulations! It passes the K-Tel test!

Your script either has an eight performance-core hybrid architecture running at 6.0 GHz or advanced knowledge of enemy troop movements. Congratulations! It passes the Intel test!

Ironically, I got the gravy boat but forgot the gravy. So I made a last minute trip to Ralph's which was like a zombie apocalypse of frazzled people buying frozen turkeys and handles of vodka.

Around this time of year I always try to remember those of us who don't have family to spend the holidays with and how lucky they are.

Just use our hands I guess.

I don't even want to think about what would've happened if we didn't have a gravy boat.

Gravy boat arrived just in time.

At Costco even microaggressions are family-sized

In no particular order: 1. Spinal Tap 2. Planes Trains & Automobiles 3. No Country For Old Men 4. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 5. A Simple Plan 6. Raiders of the Lost Ark 7. Meet the Parents 8. Ferris Bueller 9. Rushmore 10. Harold and Maude 11. Up 12. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest 13. Godfather 2

Remember when "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" tried to teach us about tariffs and no one was paying attention

Drove behind a driverless Waymo that had its turn signal on for a half mile. Billions in R&D to create my grandmother.

If you're in LA, definitely try to check this out. Always a good time and a great chance to meet other writers. #scriptsky

Hosting our first Thanksgiving and how long do you grill the cranberry sauce? #thanksgivingsky

Had fun and learned a lot in @roadmapwriters.bsky.social 's Punch Up Your Half Hour Comedy class #scriptsky