unribbed. because who cares about her pleasure, amirite

a condom for a dumb con

when biden was hitting stock market highs the gop was hitting us with “the stock market isn’t the economy” think pieces left and right.

til tony dokoupil is married to katy tur

wtaf

this headline sends me. and i thought that was springsteen for a minute

this used to be peak witty insult when i was a kid. i just hit my 20 yo niece with it and she was gagged aha. i do see your point. but when you style your hair like that it’s barely noticeable

before his wealth exploded (sneaker and bible sales, crypto, qatari jet) rising stock market chafed trump because it represents how much richer he’d be if he just invested his inheritance from fred.

omg. i confused david benioff for marc benioff and i could not imagine what the fuck amanda peet could be thinking (they are very very distant cousins)

ok, i know i’m a mark but the michael’s joy commercial does bring the joy

biden also tried to convince us our economic pain was easing but what he didn’t do is brag about “his” stock market, which also regularly broke records

sometimes i think the worst thing about me is i used to like david sedaris

these billionaires really are stupid. literally all the money in the world and they’re not off having fun

i just heard someone call cheryl hines “the marvelous mrs. measles” and that’s all the gift i needed this holiday season.

why hasn’t anna delvey been deported?

i miss the days when ai was a crossword clue

wait. jerome powell actually is a grateful dead superfan

instead of pros and cons we call them melanias and donalds.

that whole trump truth thing is nutso but “slowing UP”?????

the four horseman of the apocalypse: crypto, ai, prediction markets, whatever comes next out from either kushner and the saudis or elon musk

rip raul malo. your music took me through every decade of my adult life and brought me joy at times joy was scarce

til john ratzenbacker is maga. call him cliff craven.

amazon prime announces remake of a few good men directed by brett ratner cast: col. nathan r jessup: dean cain lt. daniel mcafree: in his acting debut donald trump junior lt commander joanne galloway: gia carano lt jag sam weinberg: ben shapiro 2nd lt jonathan kendrick: zachary levi

danny accidentally said doppelbürger instead of doppelgänger. i’m dying

trump and his advisors knew they had inherited a stabilized economy or they never would have risked the tariffs. they just underestimated maga’s pain tolerance in support of their dear feeder.

marjorir taylor green isn’t a maga loyalist turned trump critic. she’s a maga loyalist turned trump administration critic. there’s a difference.

100% certain the medible had kicked in

remember when you could scroll back to your first skeet? or back to when you gave in and called it a skeet? or when you went back to “post”?

eating peanut m&ms in the dark from my palm and i’m almost 100% certain i got a peanut without a candy shell but how would i ever know?

i want someone to ask trump how he feels about the possibility of a democratic administration taking over his newly renovated white house? if he can’t acknowledge the possibility, the followup question should have him acknowledging he’s an autocrat.

feels like i’m entering my eleanor rigby era

i’m admittedly a shitty photographer but i kinda like this “christmas lights at 40mph” shot

does no nut november lead to use your member december?

i haven’t heard anything about that tesla diner since a week after it opened.

still undefeated

i convinced my sister that 67 is a play on *67 and it means she’s blocked.

i have always said “merry christmas, happy holidays” do they want “happy holidays” completely done away with?

no president before trump wanted to live in a palace. it isn’t the seat of a king. it’s our house. we ask that they live in it for their term & move on. hand it off to the next (p)resident. it needs to be maintained & preserved, not gilded. i hope he’s made to take that crap down in ‘28. or sooner

i’m sure i’m late to it but it’s giving picking up a dirty diaper. even trump has to have done that once?

i’ve hated presidents in the past. reagan & the bushes. but i never before felt like one hated me. the pettiness makes it feel personal. i suppose that’s the point. the deadnaming of dr. levine and the removal of mlk and juneteenth as free nat’l parks day as well as the sabrina carpenter crap.

that participation fifa monstrosity is going to be like the winner board at a trump golf tournament. just his name all the way down, year after year.

amazing how teamwork can make a dream work, a scheme work, and a meme work.

if a crime is solved after the perpetrator died did the criminal really get away with it? maybe they weren’t caught but they were found out.

joe rogan&bill maher who are stunned by how amiable & focused trump is 1 on 1 should be less charmed & more horrified that public trump can’t stay on message. if he can be focused in private then the rambling & spewing garbage is all just a put on for his MAGA rubes who love the flamboyance.

omg. my maga uncle “why does he keep pardoning these scumbags?”

now is a good day to remember

remember after the game when the winning quarterback would be asked “now that you’ve won the superbowl, what are you doing next?” & he would answer “i’m going to disney!” now it’s disgraced politicians & scammers “where are you going after prison?” “i’m going on dancing with the stars!”

pour some festive sugar on me

my morning tip (for 1 or more): pronounce the be in bedroom like in bedouin and spend 10 minutes repeating it and giggling.

friends of mine did ‘shrooms in thanksgiving and they’re still feeling awful. personally i think it was the fried onions on top