Those who fail to plan to fail, plan to fail to plan 💪 #WiseWordsofWeeklyWisdom

No one: Absolutely no one: Me: Gerrard getting moggmogged

*cautiously looking around, trying to read the room* “(don’t worry, I can say this, I’m autistic) fuck Aristotle”

This year's baby owl season has begun. 🥰🪶

Cis friends, two important things you can do for trans people right now: 1. Loudly tell both the State and your neighbors that gender-affirming care is necessary and lifesaving (for trans adults AND youth) 2. Help us access that care At the moment, my friend Dawn could really use your help 🖤

I know game designers who use subtext, and they're all cowards

“Alpha male” implies the existence of unlimited male, revised male, 4th edition male, 5th edition male, 6th edition male, 7th edition male, 8th edition male, 9th edition male, 10th edition male, M10 male, M11 male, M12 male, M13 male, M14 male, M15 male, origins male, core 2019 male, core 2020 male,

if you’re trying to lose weight, consider switching out your condiments for a low calorie alternative: cum

🚫 good girl ⚔️ normalize telling trans girls with a praise kink that they’re a daughter of kings, a shieldmaiden of Rohan, and that to stay behind the bars of a cage until use and old age accept it and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire? You do not think that will be her fate

Apologies for being horny on main, but this is a small town and there are only so many streets

It is said “woman cannot live on white Monster alone” And so saying, she popped the top on it anyway and passed it around to her estradisciples, saying “drink this, it is my blood.” ”In the sense that it too contains exactly 0 ng/dL of testosterone” 😎

“Women born women” What are you even talking about everyone is born baby

I’ve been trying to perfect my edging technique, and I’m SO CLOSE

Ugh super embarrassing. So I recently visited the UK, and went to see some 18th century Gothic Revival architecture I‘d heard was cool. One stop was a fortress (previously the ancestral home of the Twittingham family) built almost entirely from combustible sedimentary rock from the quarries nearby

[guy who thinks déjà vu means getting ur dick stuck in a fan] man I had the craziest déjà vu earlier

I have come here to chew bubblegum and still have dry mouth And I’m all out of stomia 😎

Migraine? No, comrade, I have an OURgraine 😌

I know my whole thing on this account is basically just shitposting my way through trans genocide 🙃 but just gonna say, genuinely, please keep checking in on your trans friends. Because there’s a good chance you’re one of the main pillars holding them up and keeping them hanging on right now 🖤

*me when I start an extremely hacky standup career on a bad dysphoria day* How clocky am I? I’m sooooo clocky when Li Shang sees me coming he starts singing to his recruits “let’s get down to business to defeat the h*ns”

It’s so tough to find (and afford) good mental health support these days. Someone you can talk to when you really need, and who’ll check in when they haven’t heard from you in a while. That’s why I get my guitar cables from Sweetwater

Yesterday: So Brave and Strong enough to do crimes, but also too Valid and too Seen to not be noticed 😞 Today: Trans Day of Heists 😎

Eve’s apple

Counting down til midnight EST, when the invisibility kicks in again and Trans Day of Heists begins 😎

important disclaimer: my bluesky posts are for informational purposes only, their content is not meant to substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. all followers who view these posts are responsible for their own medical care and oversight

“did they send me daughters when I asked for sons” yeah dude don’t you know what movie this is

Guys Who’ve Never Been to Prison: “I light my own cigarettes cuz in prison if someone else does, that means you’re their bitch!!” Me: [has never asked anyone who’s actually been to prison if this is true] Also Me: [absolutely always lets cute girls light my cigarettes for me just in case it is]

I use what’s called a “persona” for crafting most of the jokes I post on this site, often writing from the POV of a specific character who is an “irrepressibly horny t4t transbian”, so that doesn’t mean my posts are in any way autobiographical or based on anything in particular I just write what I

Apparently a t4t lesbian relationship is “gay with extra steps” and a c4t one is “straight with extra steps” and I know transphobes are the worst mix of stupidest people alive/completely bad faith, but like yeah dude the extra steps are: 1. being a woman 2. also being a woman 3. both being women

Absolutely speechless just now listening to an emergency medicine podcast from 2021 open with “If you‘re listening in the future, let us know a couple things. Is COVID over? Am I okay? Did I get the job? Those are the things I’d love to know. The other thing is I want to give a shout out to Luigi”

Morning! Just woke up, fell back asleep, had a dream I went to check my email and got an ad for a new Pokémon game and the ad was aimed specifically at trans women with ADHD. So what I’m saying is online tracking’s gone too far, and targeted advertising works

Why did Chuck Norris decide to piss in the gender-neutral bathroom? He didn’t, post-mortem urination is a normal phenomenon and it just happened to be at the site of a future gender-neutral bathroom (Chuck Norris’ corpse)

You can’t spell lesbian, transbian, or bisexual without saying bi three times and making a t4t bi girl appear in order to anxiously and awkwardly make absolutely zero eye contact, which is what’s referred to as a “crush” or a “mating ritual” depending on the amount of sustained lack of eye contact

Novelty coffee mugs that say “please don’t talk to me before I’ve had my DEPRESSION”

Thanks cis allies, but the State is already making me Feel Seen just fine 😊

The greatest trick the devil ever did was when he convinced your stupid annoying barbarian friend to sign over the entire party’s souls in exchange for a +5 Fuzzy Hat of Keeping Your Ears Warm or some shit

T4T transbian Heated Rivalry when. The sport is Smash. Ep. 1: awkward glances Ep. 2: awkward glances Ep. 3: one of them “accidentally” drops her controller Ep. 4: they slowly inch closer on the couch Ep. 5: petplay One girl mains Yoshi, so they have Barriers to Overcome

Choosing to believe he means World War III

Feel like I say this kinda thing a lot, but I never hear healthcare professionals bring it up in these conversations: there’s obv no link between vaccines and autism, but I wouldn’t give a fuck if there was. We know vaxs work, if you’d rather risk your kid being dead than autistic that’s eugenics

The world if 2008 Katy Perry had written I Kissed a Tranny

Cake with blue estradiol tablet sprinkles on top, call that funfettE

I’m sure there are some trans cops out there, but I’ve never heard of any. All police I’m aware of are Assigned Cis at Birth

It’s important to talk about the horrific cost to trans kids of both anti-trans laws and the genocide-abetting work of collaborators like the NYT. But it’s also vital not to frame that as a foregone conclusion. Trans kids need to hear they’re not just statistics, they deserve to hear they have hope

Say a prayer and shed a tear for poor Paul Guitar, who spent his whole life unable to be taken seriously as a sousaphone player

Today in jokes that deserved better: Told my friends when I finish my nurse practitioner program in a few years, I’ll have finally achieved what I moved out to LA to do: be able to work writing scripts full-time Nothing 😩

I hate when I forget to order a boneless hot dog

Reasons why so many trans women play mtg: 1. more affordable than all other types of gender-affirming care 2.

Not to brag, but I think I’m one of the posters on this site whose posts most consistently make me laugh

How do I know I’m not a queer cis man? Because if I tried to be, I wouldn’t be able to meet the top of my personal hierarchy of needs (starting The Discourse by identifying as a bi lesbian)

My hands look like this So her hands can look like this 😌

How do I know I’m not a queer cis man? Because my MUSCLE MOMMY tank top I got a long while back would be much funnier if I was 😩