(asking my bf): Do I give Themme Fatale? 🥺

MY toxic trait is— *coughs in influenza*

I need like an enby gender reveal cake And all the party favors say “It’s CONFUSED!” instead of it’s a boy or it’s a girl Happy trans day of visibility folks

I like you in the way some people like trains

Just realized you can have a ‘will they, won’t they’ scenario with just one solo nonbinary person. My entire ADHD life has been a ‘will they won’t they’

This week's #HacksterCafe : @ching.bsky.social (www.visititemfarm.com) on microfactories that empower people to make things quickly and locally 🤩 Feb 24 (Tue), 1pm Pacific / 9pm UTC On @hacksterio.bsky.social ▶️ www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvDR... ▶️ www.linkedin.com/events/74318... // #HacksterIO

The trope of a devil and angel on your shoulders is a well known thing, but I’m pretty sure I have some third gremlin of neurodivergent infodumps and oversharing that vetos both of them until we can all collectively stuff it back in the box

One day my brain will finally integrate the difference between baklava and balaclava

Hey babe let’s put robots on the moon and get ISRU-and-I together 😏👉👉

Mincemeat and Sweetbreads really need to swap names Like, one of them is sweet and mixed like filling and goes well with or in pastries and one of them is organs that are actual meat. So why?

my boyfriend: *toots at the stroke of midnight* me: Really? That’s the first thing you do this year? Is fart??? him: And that’s the first thing you said this year :D

Why are cookies called cookies and not bakeys you bake cookies

My Brain gets Strained Mainly on the Plain

Me: having an inelegant moment doubled over from food poisoning after making it to the beach Random stranger: Get it out, gurl! I’m just here to grab my porkchop. She scrambles by me over the dunes and returns carrying a takeout container she’d left on the sand I’ll treasure this moment forever

“You’re so good in a crisis!” Yessir, that’s because I AM one.

“Who are those idiots naruto running thru the crosswalk?” “…Oh. Those are our idiots.” Yeah, you could say my college days were kind of wild

Spicy Brain is so fun right up until it gets in your eyes ohgod it burns

Inside of me are two wolves; they have both forgotten what each is supposed to represent

How many days out of pride month is a trans business founder allowed to be a queer disaster? Asking for a friend

If I had a nickel for every time I met someone in manufacturing named Brian (or variant spelling) I’d have four nickels. Which isn’t much but it’s weird that it happened four times so far And I keep meeting more what is this

Me, halfway asleep from melatonin to my boyfriend: Hey wait where are you going I havent figured out if I’m gay or straight for you

Just woke up from dreaming about an entire movie involving Dragon Ball Z characters and cyberpunk-esque fighters that my partner and I watched—not participated in—like the entire dream was just me watching a screen and I’m so confused rn

Just realized one of my birds might actually be a golden retriever

I love the Kumon logo so much because it is EXACTLY the face I would make as a child whenever I “got to” do any “extra academic work”.

every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel

I’m allergic to so much of the lesbian dating pool because they all own cats

Herping is like birding but for amphibians and reptiles; I was raised an indoor kid so I’m still pretty green at it. I’d like to identify as a Herp derp

I learned in bio that when vertebrate embryos develop, the anus forms before the mouth. What I’m trying to say is I think some people never grow out of being an asshole

Finding foraging toys to keep my budgies occupied is an intelligence arms race. I constantly gotta find that sweet spot of challenging and rewarding enough, but not so difficult they give up and decide beeping at me for treats for three hours is more worth the effort.

I’m pretty sure many of the ways people humanely trap and contain animals would also work on humans if we scaled it up. I mean, if someone put a clear tube over my head and it wasn’t much wider than me I’d get stuck in it too.

If I go sprinkle some fish food into the middle of an ocean what are the odds of some of that eventually winding up inside a whale? I want to go do that with the energy of Fred Rogers feeding his goldfish

Partner just told me to go find ppl on this app to follow but what if I just keep screaming into the sky like the birds outside it seems to work for them somehow

I’d go to the everglades and help with the Burmese Python problem, except I’m trans, allergic to half of everything outdoors including mosquitoes, grass and pollen, out of shape, small, and probably delicious to Burmese Pythons.

I came here to shitpost and do nature memes but I don’t know how to navigate anything yet ;_;