It was a long road to get here, but my debut novel is now available! If you like the idea of a "Gothic Fantasy" novel in which a depressed grave robber is on a mission inspired by Pre-Raphaelite art, well do I have the book for you. mybook.to/ornamentalwo...

Ornamental Women is my Gothic Fantasy novel about an anxious grave robber trying to crack the case of a missing book of poems and an absent corpse! Black metal bards! Pre-Raphaelite inspired plot! Two women have their first date in an absinthe bar! A wombat! mybook.to/ornamentalwo...

Curse of the White Salamander and Shadow of the same! Violent, profane, and dumb as hell! Underground monsters, ninjas, LDS Eldritch beings, killer robots, Swiftie secret agents, pro wrestling, tech bro wizards, and Elvis as a god! It’s weird as hell. Perfect for the dad in your life!

It’s #FridayReads time! Let’s share books and boost all signals. Repost this and let us know what to repost for you. This slice of darkness, revenge, crime, horror, santería, bloodthirsty gods, and creatures from beyond the reef is currently 55% off! Long live books. www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0316...

A reminder that Father’s Day is coming up. If you like your dad, get him a book. If you don’t like your dad, get him this book! a.co/d/05n7N7eZ

Read weird stuff! -Excommunicated Mormon Cults -Straight Edge Ninjas -Eldritch farmers made of bees -Soviet Wizards -Train bombs -Black Eyed Agents -Taylor Swift worship -Tech Wizard nerds -Time Travel Senators Check out the Americana Cycle. It’s weird as hell! www.amazon.com/dp/B0CV93VJR...

Anyone want to read a badass author interview? Well, check this shit out! www.katharinewibellbooks.com/single-post/...

I read a book once, the phone book. Looked up the number for the cable company and had them send a man to hook me up with some real stories!

I don’t need to know what words mean in order to use them.

RIP to Chuck Norris.

Feuds lead to sales. Look at pro wrestling and hip hop records. As a fella trying to sell some books, I believe I will begin a feud. James Patterson: I’ve never read your books, but neither has anyone who received one as a gift.

It’s St Patrick’s Day! Put on your kilt, chow down on some haggis, drink some Johnnie Walker, and watch the Highlander!

I’ll tell ya one thing: tomorrow, I ain’t gonna be aware of shit. Your move, brother Brutus.

r/nosleep mods are the literary equivalent of stepping on a melted ice cube in socks.

The problem is, kids these days don’t kick rocks anymore.

This is the time of year, every year, I think I should quit my job and work for the railroad.

Now that football is over, fill the gambling hole by going on Reddit r/suggestmeabook and placing bets on which comment mentions “Blood Meridian” on any post. Betcha it’s the third one!

Hey, you! Want a cyberpunk western horror book? Mormon cosmic monster? Robots? A defense of regulation? Dipshittery? Then try this! a.co/d/0jakofoc

On the 7th, I’m releasing a new book. It’s about a dipshit and creepy weirdo who fight robots or something. It’s also about the hopelessness and uncertainty of getting the Fork in the Road email last year. It’s a sequel, so read part one here: a.co/d/0gf74tGg

Content creators: Did you know if you can’t think of anything to talk about, you can plagiarise old Cracked articles from 2008? Anyway, but my book, a new one is out soon! a.co/d/0iXkrEun

Have I mentioned I have a book coming out in the 7th? It’s about robot kidnappers, human experiments, corporate wizards, cosmic Mormon monsters, and rogue field agents. Get part one here: a.co/d/04WIN4U3

New book! March 7th! It’s a sequel, but it stands on its own. But still, take the time to get caught up on the first part. It’s better than doomscrolling! a.co/d/0d1w6CiK

The Music Man is folk horror. A tale as sinister as the Wicker Man.

It’s Halloween! Celebrate with a new tradition of buying this scary book! PS: I’m not getting paid from my job starting Monday, so buy a few copies! a.co/d/15pBZtw

I signed up for Skylight and it overheated my phone in two minutes. They have work left to do, but I can already imagine the countless hours I’ll waste there. Good work team!

Writing idea: Prequel to “Starship Troopers,” titled “Airplane Troopers.” Sequel to “Starship Troopers,” titled “Starship.” Plot of the last one is about city planning.

Thank you for the absolute banger of a review for Curse of the White Salamander by maeby.one.more.book ! It’s so good I might read it again! You should too, link in bio! www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8SymWQY/

Sorry Mr. Bocephus, I just don’t think I’m ready for some football yet.

Turns out I didn’t discover a whole field of buried time capsules. The DA is calling it a “cemetery.”

Iceberg videos are just moving listicles right?

Podcast idea: two friends read Reddit posts to one another. Get with me Spotify, this’ll make you millions.

Author tip: When writing a horror book, have between three to five scary scenes. Then fill the other 95% of the book with monotonous character backstory.

The fact I don’t have a time machine right now indicates I will never have a time machine… …at least that’s what I told the cops next Friday…

Back in my day kids would stay up all night faking alien crop circles. This generation doesn’t have work ethic.

It’s September 2nd and I’ve yet to see a single Christmas related item on a store shelf. Who will end this War on Christmas?

AI could never replace me at my job. I know, I’ve been trying to build a robot imposter for years.

Every chair is a recliner if you lean back far enough.

They were so preoccupied asking whether or not they canola, they didn’t stop to think if they shouldola.

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Saddest story in six words: “For sale: Ram 1500. Second owner.”

I’m back. And front. And side to side. Well, let’s not get carried away. I’m back at least.

“Here I pause. If you wish to walk no farther with me, reader, I do not blame you. It is no easy road.” -Gene Wolfe